08 Oct We had sex without “knowing” each other
A nice deep house song to listen to in sexy moments and while reading this post:
To my surprise this post was also published 7th January 2015 in the (brave) Swedish newspaper Sydsvenskan (see article here):
The day after the meeting with my father, I was expecting a girl visiting Käringön. Lisa and I had met on a tantric retreat. We really knew nothing about each other, more than that we liked each other’s energy. Now, what does that mean? Normally we and especially our parents want to know age, education, school, CV, political opinions and habits. However, I have become less interested in this story and more interested in the feeling I get in the body of being close to a person. How is it to meet her eyes, do I get or lose energy, can I feel safe or not, do we have fun and is there attraction and connection between us?
Although we did not know any facts about each other, we both trusted it would be a nice weekend. Partly since we share the spiritual interest, trying to evolve towards more freedom and less programmed behavior patterns. But also because both of us are tantric and fairly sexually liberated. Even if sex is not an urging need, it’s nice when both are relaxed about the subject.
Sure, I was a bit nervous when I picked her up with the boat, but it quickly disappeared. It was bad weather on the Saturday and I guess it was for the better since we had a hard time leaving the bedroom. Nowadays I practice, on my teacher’s advice, to dare being vulnerable and shy, because this is an opening to feeling love. I try to feel not only my body, but also the environment around me and the people I meet. It may sound hokey but it actually works, although it could initially be some resistance against opening myself like that. However, this has made my sex life a lot deeper, more healing and playful. I consciously try to feel love and horniness at the same time, without starting a romantic dream in my head about it. It has happened with several girls lately and is liberating to be able to get so close to each other without being compelled to paint a picture of the future with villa, children, doggy and Volvo. Not that there’s anything wrong with these things, but these thoughts tend to put pressure and diminish the passion. I am certainly not against deep, monogamous relationships. What I mean is that it easily becomes very serious with expectations about the future and they easily bring later disappointments. Why must everything be so serious, why not play a little in the now – as we did when we were kids? If I dare to be vulnerable to Lisa it is not a long step to feeling love for her, without demand of anything in return. To feel this strong emotions totally in the moment, without creating a story is something new for me. I can thank my teachers and inspiring friends who have shown me new ways to relate to one another.
When we lie there close to each other I open myself to her and for moments I feel her body as if it were my own. If I can also relax in the chest and trust the experience, that soft feeling of coming home enters my consciousness. It grows stronger and in the end it feels like we are floating in space, one unified energy that is both horny and in love at the same time. It sounds crazy, I guess, but it’s wonderful and exciting as hell. A bit like being 15-year old, horny and in love, but more relaxed somehow. After several hours of sex she went down on me and I got to experience an orgasm that up to this day had only been a story for me. My body was completely relaxed, I had a butt plug in my anus to not contract there and I was also open in the heart. Suddenly I began to feel that I was coming in my dick, just like a normal peak orgasm. But instead of starting to tighten me and pump out the energy in that brief explosion, I managed to somehow relax so that the orgasm spread throughout the body. It went on for almost ten minutes, with a break for a few breathing pauses when I wide-eyed exclaimed, “WHAT IS GOING ON?!”. The slightest contraction in the body or heart meant that I was millimeters from missing (= ejaculation = game over). But now the strong energy circulated around in my body instead. I loved the feeling, Lisa and the entire experience. Felt like a child.
The hours passed by in passion, relaxing meditation and bliss. It may sound strong – but that is how I experienced it. Incredible that it is possible to live in this way! I have a hard time believing it. We ate, slept and made love the whole weekend. A walk and a short visit to local restaurant Petersons Krog was the only thing that came between. “This is also a way to live”, I was thinking being happy, horny and grateful. Environmentally friendly too, not much consumption. Two years ago I had no idea that sex and relationships of this kind was possible. But it is not only possible, to me it seems even natural. Perhaps more natural than filling the calendar with expensive activities and feeling stressed to out to go through them all. Just like I have done for the most part of my life. I pray that more and more people will find the deeper pleasure of intimate encounters, both sexual and non-sexual. I’m still a beginner in the tantric world, talk about possibilities and adventure!
If you want to read more about the experience of tantric sex and tantric orgasms, read the longer text “Nobody goes from tantric sex to regular sex” – under Subjects – Tantric sex.