Who do you dress up for?

Min nya mer feminina stil, här klädd för fest.

Babyface new more feminine style, here dressed up for party.

What’s your fashion style today? Is it the same style as 10 years ago, and is it you who chooses your clothes? Some seem not to care, some spend hours making it look like they do not care and some dare to stick out for real. It is interesting to look at how conscious we are about something that everyone else sees from morning to night.

For my own part, my dress code has undergone some stages:

  • Age 0-14: Mom decides my clothes. It is colorful with hearts and stuff. Anything but fashionable.
  • 14-17: I “wake up” and buy tight jeans, tight T-shirts, designed shirts and protruding shoes. Some kind of mix between a 70s  theme and metro sexual. It was exciting and fun to buy clothes.
  • 17-31: The style gets more normal. I ware masculine trendy clothes that fits in with the average Stockholm man. Not remarkable in any way.
  • 31-33: Step by step my dressing becomes more interesting. Tight clothes again and also more feminine, even a couple of dresses. But I also have ordinary men clothes when I feel like being anonymous.


Hm, earlier I had a picture me having one style. But apparently it has changed a lot. I really remember that day in 9th grade when I came to school in tight beige flared jeans, black tight shirt, thick leather belt and styled hair á la Elvis. The day before I looked like everyone else. It was nerve-racking and fun at the same time. Someone looked down on me, but most of my peers seemed to appreciate that I dared changing my look. This was a conservative school for rich kids.

So what are the different types of reasons for dressing up, I will try to give some examples:

  1. You dress up to fit in because you’re worried about being judged by others. An example is the guy who stands and fixes his hair for two hours, with the goal to make it look like he just got out of bed. He cares a lot, but can not stand for it.
  2. Clothes are meant to keep warm. Appearance is of no importance. Grandma and grandpa agree.
  3. You dress up to get attention, you dare to stand out but it becomes an ego boost.
  4. You want to show that you do not care and that you are relaxed. One example is the celebrities who go out in a simple T-shirt, regular jeans and cap.
  5. You enjoy dressing up for yourself and feel self-love. You do not have much focus on what others think.
  6. You dress interesting primarily for the sake of others. Not because you need the attention to feel important, but because you are willing to give yourself as a gift to others. Naturally you also like what you are wearing.


Maybe you fit into one of these categories. Or perhaps like me, you see yourself in several of them. It may vary from day to day. Can you think of some more categories? Please comment here under in such case.

I tried to rank the examples from low to high awareness, although it is not a perfect science. The last example is interesting and also what my tantric teachers advocate. He usually ask the audience; “If you were children and went to a party, would you think it was the most fun if people were dressed up or not?”. Children are closer to the truth than we are and I think everybody deep down inside still have a child’s mind. It’s more fun for everyone if we make a little effort. There are very few who live for number 6 above. Where you are considering which outfit that will make the party, meeting or dinner so interesting and enjoyable as possible for everyone involved. Without taking personal credit for anything.

Of course everyone have the right to dress exactly the way they want. However, it may be worthwhile to think about who we dress ourselves up for and why. I’ve been experimenting a lot with feminine clothes, nail polish and more (see image above). Some probably think that I’m doing it for the attention, but there are several truths. One reason is that it can be a little scary to stand out, then I do it as a part of my embarrassment practice (see My practice). I hope this can be more enjoyable for people around me and moreover more interesting situations seem to pop up when I dress more sexy/risky/interesting. People watching, comments, praises or condemns. Of course, I also wear  regular clothes when I think they fit the situation better. (see image below). Nice, but less exciting. What style do you like the best?

Vardagsklädd för att passa in.

Babyface in everyday clothes to fit in.

Meditation for 6 days isolated in a dark and silent bunker
Can you go away to find yourself?
  • Sarah T
    Posted at 18:32h, 12 October

    I have to admit for me it is a lot about number 3 when I go out. But I can also relax in number 4.

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