26 Oct But how to get those tantric orgasms?
Why tantric sex? I would like to give three reasons:
- You satisfy your partner more deeply, you become a better lover
- You get more pleasure yourself and become more relaxed about sex
- Your everyday energy, creativity and your mood is improved
The sexual encounter Bea Dominic described in the previous post did not sound too bad huh? For some, it may sound like pure fantasy, and after 1.5 years of tantric sex I can confirm that this is how it feels too. But how to get there? Bea has practiced tantra for several years. I remember when I first saw a guy having a tantric orgasm. With clothes on and everything! “I don’t believe this, it must be fake,” I thought, somewhat jealous. But after playing detective for a while, I realized that was not the case. However, I came to the conclusion that tantric sex starts with a sacrifice that I did not understand. I would have to refrain, at least for a time, from my dear normal orgasm that I used as a sleeping pill in the evenings. I realized only later how dependent I was of it.
We all start on step one. We simply have to abstain from the Peak orgasm, but I really want to stress that it is SO worth it in the long run! A good first challenge is not to come in 21 days. For us guys that is not ejaculating and for the girls to not get clitoral orgasm or the vaginal orgasm that creates the familiar contractions/pumpings in the vagina or in the perineum. It is important however to continue to be sexually active, alone or with your partner(s). You want to get away from friction based sex and start letting the energy channels in the body take over. In this way, you build up your sexual energy in the body, rather than dispose of it every time you get excited. During these days a lot is happening in the body and the brain, for example you may get pain one day, but it will pass. If you want to immerse yourself you can read the longer text under Subjects – Tantric sex.
If you manage to do this for 21 days you may reach an energy level that many have not experienced since we were kids. It may sound hard to believe, but come on – try it out! Everything to gain and nothing to lose. You are not that addicted to the peak orgasm that you can not be without it for three weeks? This can actually be more difficult than you think. One miss (orgasm by mistake) and you have to start on day 1 again. This applies also if you should come while sleeping (wet dream), which affects the neurotransmitters in the brain in the same way.
Starting to have sex in this way will lead to completely new experiences with increased control, connection with your partner and more sensitivity in the body. To reach the Tantric orgasms (a video about one of those at the bottom of this post), usually most people need to get rid of tension in the body first. My teacher sometimes asks women on our workshops if they ever had been on their back with the legs up when the guy penetrates deeply, with intense pain in the vagina (in the cervix) as a result. Almost all women raise their hands on that question. On my first tantra workshop I found out for the first time how much pain and tension both women and men have in and around their genitals. It’s amazing how little we know about our bodies, even though we live in them for our entire life! But there is good news, with some simple exercises we can get much better sex life.
Bea will in her next blog post tell us about de-armoring of the vagina. For those of you who can not wait, just google it and there are also specialists who carry out such treatments. Now I turn to the guys with a little warning – this may be challenging for some. Almost all guys have constant tension and contractions in the anus. It is one of the main places where fear is located physically in the body. If you are attentive, you can notice it when you are stressed or get scared, you are clenching in the stomach and the butt. This applies also to girls, but they generally have more tension in the vagina.
For us guys our G-spot is in the butt, we actually have two different nerves we can orgasm from, compared with one nerve that goes to the penis. The potential for pleasure is therefore even bigger in the anus. Am I gay because it feels nice in the anus? Are all babies gay? Of course not, it’s nice there for all men – given that they have learned to relax. A good way to test is in the shower, at least three fingers you should be able to get in there. There are also great toys like Aneros below that press directly against the G-spot and also the perineum, an enjoyable spot between the rectum and the scrotum. Aneros has become a good friend of mine that is present at all possible occasions, such as when I had the crazy orgasm I told you about in “We had sex without “knowing” each other”. On my first tantric retreat, I was de-armorerad in the anus by an attractive and experienced tantric girl. I was super nervous and it is a crazy story that I do not know if I dare tell you, but if someone would comment below and insist on it so maybe… 😉
My new best friend Aneros Helix.
Us guys can get both G-spot orgasm and anal orgasm in the anus and it may be enough to just have a toy inside, if you can relax into the pleasure. Besides this, a butt free of sexual tension enables energy to flow more freely in the body. It does not get stuck behind the penis during sex so that it builds to the inevitable peak orgasm = game over. Instead, it may begin to circulate so that the whole body eventually become orgasmic, especially if your kundalini is activated in the spine. You can then take your partner much deeper. Tantric sex takes time to learn and there seems to be new experiences possible each time. Sex is never the same twice. In this post you have a good start. There are also many courses out there. Good luck and welcome to an adventure in sex!
Video on female Cervical orgasm:
She is very “American”, but the video is quite good.