A way to get more flow in life


Flow, or “in the zone”. The skater is one with the board and the ramp, there is no time to think about his problems.

If you have read in the About me you know that I grew up with “a silver spoon in my mouth” and catwalks on the red carpet. Lived in a palace, VIP tickets everywhere, socializing with celebrities and full speed through both study and career. This has contributed to a voice in my head discreetly whispering: “I’m smarter, better and more important than others.” Obviously I’m well behaved so this is nothing I would say out loud, but that’s what the voice says. Nice guy, or what? And reliable?

What is your view of flow? That morning when you wake up with a blocked nose when the neighbor is drilling into the wall, you hit your toe in the door edge, discover that it has leaked sour sauce throughout the refrigerator and when you come to work, you notice that you forgot your computer at home? Not directly, it rather sounds like anti-flow. But my teacher has amazing flow and the more I learn from him, the more flow experience in my own life. Sure, it was not too bad earlier in my life. I earned money, partyed, dated pretty girls and went on holiday to nice places. The difference then to now was that I previously experienced more resistance in life and within myself. It was stress, sacrifice and effort. Why is that so?

I have just assisted my teacher on a work shop in Denmark which is about this. To get more flow in life. Assisting is a chance for me to see people develop from the other side. It is very rewarding and also an opportunity to forget myself and try to help others. During this workshop, participants go through a lot of theory and exercises. Everything can not be described in one post, so I will focus on a specific part.

Most of us normally have the experience that we are separate individuals who live in a world that is outside of us. I’m here inside the head and the world is out there. We walk around and reflect on ourselves, our problems, how others perceive us, how they should behave towards us and so on. It’s a lot of attention directed inward, towards these thoughts. But if we think about it, is it not evident that we live in a world where we are totally dependent on our environment? When we eat at the restaurant, we sit at a table made by someone, a chef cooks the food, a waitress bringing it and someone has also transported the food, harvested the vegetables, butchered the animal – yes, it goes on and on. But when I enjoy a dinner at a restaurant, maybe I wont even give a single thought of gratitude to all and everyone who contributed.

My point is that it becomes difficult to get flow if so much of the attention is directed at ourselves and the story of our lives. It is the little world of the Ego. I sometimes imagine that I’m sitting on the moon, looking down on Earth and myself with a large telescope. There I run around thinking that I and my problems are important, among millions of others who think the same. From above, it becomes more apparent that Babyface is just a little ant in a much larger whole. There is a certain flow in the whole, a balance that is more noticeable in the pristine nature. To live in flow is like floating with the river rather than building up my own dam of effort in the river. We get flow when we are in sync with the world around us. Wouldn’t it be nice if the doors were opened for us automatically, the right person showed up at the right moment and that people came to you and told you how grateful they are for what you are doing? At least I think so and I’ll reveal a trick from the workshop.

It’s about something as fuzzy as praying, just like religious people have always done. “But wait, hocus-pocus things like that is nothing for me”, I hear myself saying just a couple of years ago. But the fact is that it seems to work. The meaning of the prayer is not that God will split the sky with a dollar rain and shoot love-flashes from his butt towards the one you are attracted to. (Uh, where did that come from?). My understanding is that it is rather about recognizing that we are part of something bigger, to feel gratitude for what we have and pray that our actions must benefit the whole – not just ourselves. Read about prayer in the dictionary for a more detailed explanation. I promise that it is a modern approach – not any religious nonsense. It is a method that is slowly changing the psyche from how I can get what I want – to how can I give my gift to the world. Do you think my Ego that I described above like this? NO, my Ego hated the idea. Until I tested, now I appreciate praying.

At a workshop where 90 people pray, each in their own way, for help to be good people, pretty amazing things can happen. I found myself thinking about if the whole world would pray together, it would be the end of all wars. I do not know what’s happening to me, but I seem to get increasingly soppy and cried several times because it was so beautiful. What is happening to the cool brat?!

Since I started to pray, I get more and more flow because my actions are more in line with the big picture, rather than just trying to maximize for my own little ant. I pray when I get stuck, when I want to help someone, when I have a challenge ahead of me or of gratitude when something went well. It’s nice, it makes me relax and find the right intention. I understand that there may be a resistance for some of you, but please try it out! Once a day for a month maybe. If you have any experience from praying, feel free to share below.

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  • Babyface
    Posted at 13:10h, 03 November

    Thank you Spartacus for you nice comment!

  • Spartacus
    Posted at 16:54h, 02 November

    Try a bath of ice and line of coke! that dry your eyes, soft lad!….

    I have struggled with this self critical aspect of the mind for quite some years but like you Babyface I must say that the power of prayer is alive and kicking. As with many facets of the critical self conscious awareness trial can really help to bring about a conviction in practices like prayer. Testing the practices in real life brings answers that logic and mind can’t argue with.

    A challenge for me in my work when I share what I have practiced in yoga is how to get these aspects across like divine influence, flow, prayer, devotion and gratitude in. They have played an immeasurable part of my ‘journey’. Yet I find this critical mind to blocks me with fears of how it might be received as religious, ungrounded and huffy fluffy. I hear in your post that I am probably well advised to pray some more to find that flow and deliver what I aspire to. i am also given an example by this post that there is a way; a normal, down to earth way to share these influences and the consequent shifts without sounding like a freak.

    Thanks for taking the courage to open this subject in plain language, with humility….


  • Babyface
    Posted at 09:19h, 01 November

    That is interesting to hear Niels, I hope you will feel even more motivated by now

  • Niels
    Posted at 18:56h, 29 October

    Hey mate,,
    I like this post. It’s funny and true at the same time. I pray to god and the universe every day myself. Thanks for the why about praying, i didnt know that actually. May the flow be with us 😉 .

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