31 Oct I hugged Amma. Was it for real?
I just hugged Amma. It was a very special experience. Let me begin by telling you what it is all about. She is an Indian woman who travels around the world and hugs thousands and thousands of people every day. It is said that she is enlightened in the way that her heart is always open. As I understand it this means that she meets all people with either full compassion, full love or a combination of them.
The whole scene reminded of something from my childhood. It was like a fairy tale about Jesus. There she sits in an armchair on a stage with hundreds sitting around her in meditation and she goes on hugging one by one. She really does look like an Indian ancestress with her large bosom, colorful clothes and the red dot on her forehead. In the ranks of thousands of people I’m waiting for a hug and perhaps an imprint of unconditional love in my nervous system. I was quite taken by the whole thing and got tearful. Now again. Damn, it’s insane how much I cry nowadays. What is happening with the “cool brat”?
I got a hug, she asked where I was from and said something to me in Swedish that I do not remember. It may have been my imagination, but it felt like something flashed in me. I do not know why, but the word forgiveness got a deeper meaning from this meeting. It was like we were standing there in line to be forgiven and personally I felt that I was forgiven in a deep way. Not by Amma as a person and not because I am a sinner who has done anything bad. This may sound fuzzy, but I’ll try to describe what happened.
First, I got a feeling of deep contact with something within me, we could call it love. It was a beautiful reunion, like coming home again, and it was incredibly strong. Then it was like the smallest vulnerable child within me asked Love for forgiveness for having forgotten her. For having turned away from Love. I was answered that “my beautiful little child, of course you are always forgiven.” That was what cracked me open. Not when I hugged Amma, but before – on the stage in front of hundreds of people. Oh my God!
It should perhaps be embarrassing, but for some reason it does not matter. It was a deep moment for me, so why not write about it. But another thought struck me. What if this is all a big scam?! Us humans have a tendency to believe all kinds of things. When someone says that she can give unconditional love from an always open heart people will believe it. It becomes a mass movement where everyone thinks they feel the love and all of a sudden it is true. Placebo. She travels the world with her staff, hugs hundreds of thousands of people and sits there in the middle in one of the most advanced scams ever. When I got this idea, I was only 5-6 meters from Amma. I almost burst out loud with laugh so I had to leave the stage. My God again, I thought to myself on shaky legs when looking at all the people who looked like sheep heading towards the shepherd. What a crazy thought! It felt surreal.
I have no idea if it was “real” or not. The hugs are free but money is earned on sales of food, souvenirs and donations. It is difficult to know if I should trust my thoughts or not. On the one hand I did not think it seemed like people around Amma looked particularly charismatic. There is more energy, power and charisma in the participants after the workshops I assist in, like the one wrote about in my last post. On the other hand, I obviously had a very deep and beautiful experience myself near Amma. Maybe it’s just my Ego that tries to reduce Amma because of jealousy? I honestly do not know. It really does not matter because she gives hope and seems to donate lots of money to charity. It appears that she makes the world a better place, unlike many others can say about themselves. It’s quite nice not to know and not having to know. It was rewarding to be there and I feel like I get something new when I meet these spiritual “masters”. As long as my life continues to develop to the better, it is unnecessary to doubt.
I am usually not the one who buys stuff at trade shows. “But I could not resist this deal, 40 Euro for a new laptop bag. Manufactured in India indeed, just next to the sacred temple, in the right fabrics and by some nice person who sang mantras while creating”… 😉
What do you think? Have you also met Amma, or do you have any similar experience?