Kiss me like you love me – take me with your anger


Many get turned on by 50 Shades of Grey, but does he release his frustration in a healthy way?

During my early sex life, I was careful with the girls. I looked good enough so I got laid, but I probably looked like a well-groomed boy with the cap in his hand on the way to Sunday school. Any girls getting turned on by that? Perhaps it evokes your mother feelings. 😉 If I was a bit drunk I could be a little tougher, but in return I did not feel into the girl to be able to react to her subtle signals. I do remember when I got really angry for the first time having sex with a girlfriend. I was afraid she’d get scared, but instead she looked back at me with a completely new, dark and horny gaze.

According to my tantric teachers the feminine long for being dominated by a present and compassionate masculine force. The longing is to be completely taken and totally open to the “divine”. They say that most girls know this deep down, but it also applies to the feminine in men. Oops, that may be sensitive to some? Sorry, let’s concentrating on the usual gender roles…

The popularity of the film 50 Shades of Grey is a clear example of this. Although the guy is selfish, mentally unstable and not very empathetic many girls still like him being so dominant, assertive and “dark”. The second option for many is the equality man who is also the woman’s best friend in today’s society. Not so hot perhaps, even though equality is good at work. But there is a third type, and that is the man who can use his anger, even rage, in a conscious and healthy way to open his woman sexually. Learn more about David Deida’s three stages in the 3rd stage relationship in the dictionary. Here is a story of a tantric man (who does not ejaculate away his sexual energy) who consciously use his anger in bed.

Warning: This text may be challenging for some – only read if you really want to.

Great song for sex like this:

We stood and kissed next to the bed and I could feel the strength in my body increase. It was like I had left remnants of frustration from the day at work. Anger that had not come out. How nice to be able to use it to take my girlfriend! I know she likes it. She was so nice standing there in her panties with her cute little tanned body and bare chest. Sure, she looked innocent, soft and feminine – but appearances can be deceiving I thought. You just have to start out slowly.

I take a firm hold of her wrist, leading her toward the top of the bed. I tell her to sit down on the bed and she looks up at me with a look that is a mix of feminine softness and horniness. I take out a rope and bind her hands slowly in the bedframe, before I put her on her stomach in the bed. She starts to move subtly when the awakening energies flow through her body. I love to see it. I take out the coconut oil and start massaging her with loving but direct hands. When I come down to the vagina and butt, she begins to moan lightly.

My cock has slowly become hard by feeling into her horniness and I feel how the anger within me almost has grown into rage, but somehow it transforms into a stronger presence. “You are so hot when you lie there baby. Your beautiful body makes me so horny, your feminine moves and your sexy sounds. I can not guarantee I will take it easy with you when I’m so horny on you.” My voice was stronger than usual, it was almost like the cock spoke and she groaned extra when she heard it. I penetrate slowly into her with all the electric charging of my body. I am waiting for the connection between my cock and her cervix and after a few seconds both of us jolt slightly and we are connected.

It feels so good in each centimeter of the dick and I grab her hips where I sit on top of her. She closes her eyes, moans and pretends discreetly to try to escape. “You’re going nowhere, now I will use your amazing body and your pussy as long as I feel like it,” I say to her with a playful but stable voice. I feel the strength in my hands, it almost itches in them and I hold onto her hip and shoulder while I start to fuck her deeper. She’s getting really wet and I notice that I can take it to the next step. “My cock gets so hard when you’re like this, my sexy slutty baby”. I grab her shoulders, lean forward over her and starts pumping hard from behind. Bang, bang, bang! She moans real loud and almost seems to disappear into another world.

I’m helping her up on all fours. “I want to look you in the eyes when I fuck you,” I tell her. She looks back at me with dark eyes. God, I get so turned on when she looks like that! I grab her hips and feel how my whole body is filled with the pent-up anger. She feels totally open and ready (and de-armorerad to not feel pain), now I will not hold back any longer. I’m so mad at her and punishing her hard from behind, while we look each other in the eyes. Bang, bang, bang-bang-bang-bang! It seems that she gets a darker and more horny look in her eyes the more I dare to go harder. I love this woman, she is so hot! I let go of the very last, grab her hair with one hand and fucking her with my full rage. There is a tremendous force that I do not know where it comes from, it washes through my whole body from the feet upwards and through her also. “Aaaaaaarrrggghhh!”, I’m shouting out my anger. We lose eye contact and she seems to disappear elsewhere.

After a minute it calms down, I feel completely empty and her whole body is soft and nice like after a full body massage. “Thanks for that! What a liberating feeling, it was completely impossible for me to think at the end. It was like you fucked me up in to the brain,” she exclaims. “Thank you too, you were crazy hot and it was a relief  to get rid of the anger.” I turn her around and lie down between her legs. We kiss slowly and deeply and then I lie still inside her in quiet meditation. It is so still and relaxed, with a loving vibration between us.

Do you have any experience or opinion on this? Please share below, anonymously if you wish.


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  • Babyface
    Posted at 23:51h, 02 December

    Hello Bonnie,
    thank you for sharing your thoughts. Some people seem to be triggered by this text. All I can say is that it comes from real life experiences and that many seem to enjoy playing with conscious anger in bed. As long as there is trust and an intention to serve each other too of course. It makes the sex life more juicy and diversified. This goes for both tantric and non-tantric sex.

  • Bonie
    Posted at 14:50h, 30 November

    Where you’re taking your information from and finding it representative for all females explains a lot. But for some reason you’re calling yourself baby face. Indeed very proper as by your posts you’re still a baby in the path. In the path of spirituality and in the path of Tantra. Hope you can mature to Tantra and find a more loving path. Than all the preconceived and limited ideas you seem to be buying from your teachers and playmates. We’ve all been there. Blessed be the infancy of spirituality.

  • Babyface
    Posted at 14:59h, 19 November

    Hi Pixie (and others),
    thank you for your interesting comment. It creates a good adding to my post.
    My intention was primarily to create awareness that if the feminine has a partner that always respect her, loves her and takes care of her… There seems to be a point where she finally just wants to be taken hard. Anger can be serving in such cases. Of course it is important that both parties agree on it and that it comes with an intention to serve each other. This seems to be the case with pretty much all women that can relax deep enough into trust and also men in the feminine. I am one of them 😉
    The info is according to my teachers and experience from workshops with thousands of participants

  • Pixie
    Posted at 09:05h, 13 November

    Playing with dominance, is actually one of the more exciting sex I’ve had. However I think, the sexual story above is a bit too blunt, and secondly, dominance is more a game of control/self-control of pleasure than anger, in my opinion.
    I had a lover who had this down to perfection. He was very dominant and very confident. The main thing about our play was that it was never about reaching climax (for him at least, he made me cum several times before he was done).. With him sex was all about the pleasure of the game, horniness, and submissiveness. He could drive me mad for hours and we would always push the limit. The main ingredient here is trust of course. The way he took charge was very arousing.
    I’ve been faced with women who think dominance is a way for a man to control a woman and put her down. It’s actually the contrary, at least in my case. At some point, my lover told me that the twist of it was that the fact that I let him dominate me, actually made me be the strongest part, the one in control, the one who was dominating him in a way. I loved it when he said that, not because I need to be in control, but because in a way, as much as I gave myself up to him, as much he felt that he was intoxicated by the power he got from me and was giving in to me too. So we were both actually equally strong.
    In my opinion and experience, it has less to do with anger (even though I get your point of view) and more to do with knowing yourself and your partner, trust, confidence and curiosity. Sex is the best when you let yourself go and play with it. What can go wrong? It’s only sex afterall. If you mess one up, you just do it again.

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