16 May A millions days in your arms is never too much
“I love you!” (Waiting for answer, nothing happens)
“Don’t you love me?”
“You don’t love me back?!”
Then fuck you!
There seems to be quite a misunderstanding about what love is in the world. It is very mixed up with ownership and expectations. I promise to love you if you promise to love me and it only works as long a you are faithful to me and behave in a predictable way that is in line with what I want. If you cheat on me I will not love you anymore… This “conditional love” is so common most people think it is ok. In my opinion it cannot be love if it is dependent on how the other person behave. I remember from past relationships how my love was quite a bit stronger for my girlfriend when she surprised me with breakfast in bed followed by the best blowjob, compared to when she happily appreciated how that annoyingly hot bartender with big muscles and pony tail flirted with her. It is human of course, but she was just living herself out as a free being in both situations.
I am not saying I have the final answers, but I am on a journey re-discovering love and step by step it seems I am gaining some clarity and coming back home. This post is connected to another one; Feel the Love behind the Person that I wrote some time ago. You can read it as a background to this if you’d like. Hmm, perhaps there will be a little series of love posts as I am (hopefully) gaining more and more understanding.
Love is a word and of course all words will be interpreted differently and they are only signposts to reality – they are not reality itself. I believe this is important to take in, because most of us believe very strongly in words. My God I can get so lost in analyzing reality, so lost in words! But it is the tool I am using here so I’ll do my best. I have lately begun to experience a new kind of love. I am not sure exactly what to call it, but Divine Love comes close to what I would like to describe.
This love is not a feeling, since a feeling already implies separation. First there is I and then I am having a feeling, generally somewhere in the body. I have often experienced that I feel love in my heart and then referred to somewhere in the chest. But the Divine Love seems to be something else, it is rather a state which goes from feeling love to Being Love. According to Master Dhyan Vimal, there are even deeper stages of Love as non-form, but as I warned myself above I should not get too lost in the technicalities at this moment.
The full meaning of this is not something possible for the mind, or the intellect to grasp. A few years ago when I was a businessman mainly interested in money, I doubt this state of being love would even have been possible to me. This love may first be felt somewhere, perhaps in the chest, but when I re-cognize it it becomes me in a way. It really is like coming home, being in connection with the source. It is always accessible if I don’t block it out and it is always the same year after year, not dependent on any person or circumstance. It is my companion as myself. I am alone with her and she is me. Master Vimal also says that love is actually everywhere and it seems to me that in those brief moments when I am really in love, then wherever I look I just see manifestations of love. The sun, the clouds, the sea, the trees gently blowing in the wind, the birds and then – the most difficult to see as manifestations of love, my fellow human beings. If I am living in love, so is everything I interact with.
Osho once said, forget about God (or Enlightenment) and just go for Love. I believe in the non personal love – it is you and it is everywhere. Why make that personal, why make it any smaller and less beautiful than it is? Why set up “shoulds and musts”, isn’t love by definition a Right and not an Obligation?! Why put any obligations onto your beloved, why imprison love? OK my friends, some of you may think I am loosing it and that this is too much. And I am actually getting more and more tearful, but today when I cry it is out of gratitude and not out of sadness. I would like to play a song for you that made me cry the other day.
Hear the Love singing to you, it is the deepest and most beautiful part of you singing back to yourself. How could you ever feel Love if it was not a part of you? It is the truth, that’s why you recognize it. The only obstacle seems to be that it’s too good to be true. Can we trust it? There is no fear in this Love and no scarcity, it is just pure beauty, pure joy and enormous gratitude. It is a relationship with Love itself and as myself.
Click on the video:
Oh, my love
A thousand kisses from you is never too much
I just don’t wanna stop
Oh, my love
A million days in your arms is never too much
And I just don’t wanna stop
I can’t fool myself, I don’t want nobody else (but the Divine Love) to ever love me
You are my shinin’ star, my guiding light, my love fantasy
There’s not a minute, hour, day or night that I don’t love you
You’re at the top of my list ’cause I’m always thinkin’ of you
I still remember in the days when I scared to touch you
How I spent my day dreamin’ plannin’ how to say I love you
You must have known that I had feelings deep enough to swim in
That’s when you opened up your heart and you told me to come in
Oh, my love…