17 Oct I am taking a break from the blog to dig deeper into This
Hi dear reader,
as you may have noticed I have become less and less active on the blog. This is because of at least two reasons. One is that I am trying to go away from all kind of performance related to the world. You may have read my earlier posts about performance anxiety. Having a need to perform is not really in line with what I am going through, so I’m trying to drop that. But the main reason is because there is so much to study and learn with Master Vimal. So now I am step by step letting go of old habits and prioritizing This.
What is This? It is difficult to summarize but one part is understanding my own mind, how it works and how it tricks me. It seems like the more I understand the mind, the more I understand about others too and also, the more I understand about the mind the more I understand about reality. It is very interesting to say the least and I often get the question what the goal is. The problem with having a goal is that one is not fully here now, so the present moment is not good enough. And that is usually where the mind starts. We want something we don’t have and these wants create a self. So if there is any goal for me in this it is to go beyond the mind. No mind = nothing missing and no goal. So you see the Moment 22 with having a goal as a “spiritual seeker”?
It is not primarily about getting a smarter mind with more knowledge, it is about exposing the mind in order to make it a servant to use now and then. Today the mind is the boss in me and in practically everyone else on this planet. The mind is all we know, it is almost like asking a fish what water is. So we are not free. But I see my mind clearer and clearer and one day I hope to totally get it, while Having Fun (!) on the way. 🙂
Anyway I am still writing, actually more now than before, but I am mostly writing notes for myself about new understandings. I really like sharing and I have enjoyed sharing on this blog so I guess I will come back here at some point in time. For those who are wondering about how my celibacy is going I can say it has been almost 5 months now and it is one of the best things I have ever done. The want and need for sex is much, much smaller today. I will probably start having sex again one day, but hopefully with a totally different attitude. An attitude that sex is not something I need, not something I want – only something to enjoy if it happens spontaneously and with someone I respect and who enjoys it too.
See you later,