In the relations of the future we develop to foster free, natural and happy children

 

Do you have it or are you looking for the perfect relationship? You grow as people, supporting each other’s meaningful projects, give each other total freedom to do what feels right, have complete trust and experience heavenly sex, deep peace, bubbling joy and beautiful love together. Probably not, but how many such relationships are there in today’s society? Whatever the answer to that question, I see no reason not to strive for such a relationship, in order to give our future children the best possible start in life.

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  1. Introduction
  2. Oddities in today’s love relationships
  3. Love relationships of the future
  4. Prepare for kids – your’s or your best friend’s
  5. Video: Orgasmic birth
  6. Foster free, natural and happy children

 

1 Introduction

Babyface comment: This text was written in August 2015. I can already say that I wish it was more humbly written, but the message is still interesting. Sorry for being too lazy to soften the text…

 

Since all my relationships have been amazing, you only need to read the text and do exactly as I say, and yours will be amazing too. Or not … To begin with, I want to state that I am not a relationship expert. I have no experience of a long, perfect relationship as described above. How is it then that I still confidently, think I can give you something new and valuable in this text? I have experience from a variety of relationships, which certainly all been fine in their own way, but where I especially can confirm that we had the same problem as almost all other couples. Where there are problems, there are of course solutions, and since I started on my spiritual journey things have begun to become more clear. Most of the insights and ideas that I write about are from my teachers, their teachers and the books I read written by spiritual masters. Human relationships are perhaps the most difficult thing there is to master and to have humility for the topic is important. But there’s probably nothing we value higher and that is why I am so excited to spread the ideas I have collected.

 

Since I seriously started working on myself, I can say that also my relationships have developed. It has been some years as a single, but I get much closer to the girls I meet now than I was capable of a few years ago. Friendship relations are also deeper and more authentic. We look in each other’s eyes in a new way, and the laughs are more heartfelt. Some relationships disappear, which is quite natural when I developed because it is impossible to develop in the same direction as all my friends. Although this publication will focus mainly on the intimate relationship and the relationship to the child, it is clear that these can not be isolated from other relationships. Finally the quality of all our relationships are determined by the way we view ourselves and our place in the world.

 

In this text, I speak mainly to our common sense and logical thinking. If something does not sound sensible or logical, it is normally because it is not entirely true. In our relationships we are, however, so lost in our emotions that we do not see clearly. It is much easier to see that the neighbor’s wife is a nagging bitch, or that my girlfriend’s new boyfriend is a Mr know-it-all. But when it comes to ourselves, we don’t see our own pattern. Especially not in relationships, because they stir up all hopes and dreams but also the wounds and pains of childhood. Then it can be difficult to think logically. But if we can manage to put ourselves outside of the situation, so that it is not about us, usually most are able to ensure the sound and logical. If you feel emotionally triggered by something in this text, it may be a sign that your image of how things should be is challenged. I ask that you not take it personal, but try to see if there might, after all, be a certain logic in what you read.

 

Trying to see the situations we are in from the outside is a very good exercise that many avoid. But if I look at my girlfriend and myself from the outside when we quarrel the picture becomes clearer, I let down my defenses and manage to be objective, logical and solution oriented. However, we do not want it to be just two heads trying to come close to each other, as is the case in most relationships today. We have lost touch with the heart and body, instead we blindly trust our own thoughts, that voice inside our head. That voice has no idea how to get the perfect relationship, in such case, we had already been there. It can be difficult to distinguish between what is logical thinking and what the voice in the head is saying. Then it is best to ask others for advice, ask others who are objective and not emotionally involved.

 

I mentioned wounds and pain from childhood. We are all shaped by our childhood. Some remember it as light, some remember the terrible things and many hardly remember anything. Generally, we want to remember the positive and the fact that we do not remember everything, often has to do with us being wounded. Our parents were normally well-meaning and did the best they could, but no one is perfect. They may look far from perfect if you look at them today? They are shaped by their parents, who in turn did the best they could with their ability. What happened when we were little influence us today to a greater extent than most believe. Certainly, we may have great memories from childhood, I have lots. But that does not mean that we did not also become frightened and wounded. An hour alone in a room can feel like deepest eternal fear for a one year old, even though it’s not something we remember today. But it is in our nervous system. If we do not know ourselves in depth, we will act unconsciously. It’s like our still unhealed wounds from childhood infiltrate our actions. Unconscious behavior can not create relationships with unconditional love. We want to heal our wounds to be able to give unconditionally to our partners. How else will our children be able to learn it?

 

2 Oddities in today’s love relationships

 

Find the one that’s perfect for me

If I look back at my relationships I remember, and perhaps especially during the time when I was looking for a relationship, a distinct pattern that I also see in almost everybody else. It was an idea that; “I am like this and that and now I just need to find someone who is perfect for me.” I also had templates of how a perfect girl would be, for example the Big 6; Good-looking, Sexy, Smart, Fun, Sweet and Kind. That should be easy to find?! Jokes aside, no-one can live up to templates. It becomes impossible both for the girl I meet, and for myself. But the fact is that almost all people believe that there is someone out there that is perfect just for them.

 

That we go around and carry a lot of destructive relationship patterns, where we either are copying or protesting against our parents, is not something we are particularly aware of. The only problem is that when we ‘hit the right “, it is often that our habitual patterns find another pattern that feels familiar. A clear example of this is the woman who grew up in a home where the father was physically violent, who seeks out a man who is also violent. This behavior is scientifically proven, the question is why it would work differently with mental patterns? If we had a mother who was controlling, so we will probably look for something similar, or vice versa, a hippie-girl who does not care about anything. If the girl above who was beaten leave the violent guy (which we hope), she may instead seek out a guy who is kind but does not dare to say no. This wont make her happy either. Whatever the way, patterns from our childhood relationships are mirrored in our adult relationships. We unconsciously copy what we have learned or protest against it. Thus we are not free.

 

Some will never find a partner it seems. They find it hard to relax, to be vulnerable, to show their feelings and might be more ashamed and blocked in their sexuality. Others seem to easily find new partners. They go from relationship to relationship, but it may as well be because they are afraid to be alone. Obviously, it is good for you to occasionally have time for yourself to discover who you are. Would it not be better to first feel safe, to see your parent’s behavior patterns in yourself and make a conscious choice to work with these patterns, instead of hoping that some perfect person will enter your life and solve everything? My other half to make me whole. How could anyone be able to make us whole, talk about impossible task. Can you make anybody else whole? Expectations always carry a concealed disappointment.

 

Two walking stories are together

I have some neighbors who probably have been married for 40 years, we can call her F and him M. He is very likeable and intelligent and she has a pretty fun and sharp humor. When they are not together. When they are together, she hacks him and is directly rude and he will be small and sighs resignedly. Over the years, their roles have become increasingly ingrained and now it’s on total autopilot. I noticed that F had a friend who visited and when they sat on the pier, the friend said that it probably would be rain in the evening. “No problem, said F, then we simply cook the food in the house.” I really noticed how positive she sounded. A few days later F and M sat on the same pier together and he looked up at the clouds growing ever higher. “It looks like there could be a storm,” he said bluntly. “Why are you always so damned negative,” she snapped in reply. And he just kept silent.

 

The situations were virtually identical, but the woman’s reaction is fundamentally different. This is because we are asleep. We are trapped in a dream where we believe in a lot of stories about ourselves and those we associate with. If the woman had been awake and present, instead of having a predetermined setting based on who she associates with, she had probably reacted the same in the examples above. But instead of looking at our loved ones with curious and awake eyes, we treat them according to our programmed history. We already know everything about them. It’s like two walking stories dealing with each other (quote E. Tolle). This is particularly evident with those who are closest to us. But why not face your partner, your parents or siblings as if it was the first time you saw them? See them and listen to them properly, it may not have happened in several years. Not that I am any role model here, but I think it sounds like a good idea. 😉

 

We value society’s template higher than honesty

You might think the above examples are extreme and that you have a better situation. This I can not exclude, but regardless of that you are part of a society where divorce is more common than functional marriages. If we are to be open and not have templates for how our partners should be, why should we buy in to society’s template? How many are there who are getting married, having children, villa, Volvo and dog just because it’s expected of them? Same aunts and uncles who, with important faces, after highschool asked you; “What will you do now?” Asks a few years later, “Have you found someone?”, Followed by “Has he proposed yet?”, Followed by “How many children would you like?”

 

It is not easy to resist, particularly for girls as they have the biological clock that they must take into account. That is important! The question is why it’s so important? There seems to be no shortage of people on this earth and there are probably a couple hundred million street children to take care of, rather than worrying about their biological clock. There have been anonymous surveys indicating that over 80% of all men are persuaded by their women to have children, although men later believe or say that it was their own will. Women on their part, are first pushed by the family and then by their girlfriends that are ahead and already managed to buy the new double baby buggy… And sorry for my harsh words, of course I don’t mean it is wrong having children. If it is an informed and conscious choice. But there are so many parts of our relations that are unconscious, choices we think we do ourselves but in fact are made by the environment around us.

 

Marriage is an interesting example. Even today, it is expected in most circles that you ever going to be married. That is signing a contract to prove that you really love the other person. Next, we have a wedding party following a form, where we promise each other things for life. No personal promises that feels true just for us, but promises according to a template that was written by ordinary people a very long time ago. When the model of those promises was written man died on average at the age of 40 years. Today, we get more than twice as old and there are plenty of more temptations… The ego-enhancing template for wedding parties is a capital in itself, here I will focus on the promises solemnly made before a congregation and maybe even a priest, God and all angels of the sky. We promise to love each other and be faithful to each other until death do us part. Wait a minute, that’s an impossible promise to deliver to another person, especially at a young age. Life is long, and a lot of things happen in a relationship. Children come and with them follow tight schedules and sleepless nights. One gets sick, the other loses his job, sex life is suffering and the new sexy receptionist happened to end up next to me at the office party… Why enter into marriage with a solemn promise, which both parties deep down know, that they have no idea if they can keep or not? It’s almost like starting with a lie.

 

I think there is a misconception about what love is here and I’ve read a beautiful book by Osho (Love, Freedom, Aloneness) where he puts his finger on it. A deep moment of love is timeless and therefore eternal. There is a promise there to love forever, that’s how it feels in the moment. But it is because love is such, it is rather love which promises it to love itself. Not James who promises it to Melissa. To clarify, I want to say that I am not against having a nice ceremony to declare love, nor am I against great parties. But following templates are, by definition impersonal, to cover this truth with the word tradition feels vague. Sure you can say that it’s symbolism we are doing in the church, but because almost no one gets the scope of what the symbolism refers to (at least not me), it is well advised to use this fine moment and promise each other something relevant. Like: “I love you right now with all my heart. I promise to respect you, to be completely honest with you and do my best to make you grow as a human being. I promise to do my best as long as we’re together and not hinder you if someone shows up who is better for you.” That is unconditional love, what a beautiful foundation for a relationship if both promised each other something like that!

 

Today divorce is regarded as a failure. That is what happens when we promise something we can not keep. Since a majority of all marriages end in divorce, society is full of failures. One problem in most long relationships seems to be lover’s taking each other for granted. It is of course not good and reasonably the tendency is reinforced by the existence of a forced, given template about continuing until death do part. Patterns of behavior are taken for granted, instead of curiously looking at the one who has chosen to be with you right now. Maybe it will be someone else in a year. Why should there be a failure to have ten, hopefully, great years with someone, and then have a few years of your own time and after this 25 years with someone else? It depends on expectations. The family’s, friends’ and society’s expectations. I do not mean that we should change partners all the time, obviously you can not go deep in such case. It takes time to dare to go deep with someone. To support this it is good to have a sound basis for the relationship with relevant promises of unconditional love, rather than locking each other up. If it does not work, we can ask ourselves if it’s more important to keep the relationship together, or if both parties can support each other to continue to develop as a free and happy people. The answer is probably the same, with or without children. Children benefit if parents feel good, and everyone feels good living in truth and only promise what they can deliver.

 

Harmony is valued higher than personal development

Many who have experience from longer relationships says that it is about compromising. “You can not always get your own way, it’s a give and take”. This may be true, but it can also be a pretext to avoid the conflicts that constantly lies beneath the surface. In Western societies, we want harmony at all costs and it is also true in our relationships. But there is a difference between following your partner to buy her clothes because you love to see her happy, or to do it because it’s simply your turn. The latter type of compromise always comes with a price. I talked with a friend about this a fine summer day. He is married to an attractive woman, has one child and earn a lot of money. The life most dream of. He noted that he and his wife are trying to avoid conflict by compromising, but sometimes it does not work and if there will be fights, it is always about conditions. I’ve done this and you have not done that. Unfulfilled conditions, based on expectations, and so we try to compromise ourselves to something both can live with. This creates a temporary harmony. In some relationships, it is one that almost always gets to decide, while the other submits. Then compromising does not work at all. People who want to grow and develop work differently. One effective way is to do the opposite of your normal behavior. So if you have a strong will, you can practice to encourage your partner to decide, and if you’re a wimp, you practice to stand up for yourself. It can create some interesting situations to learn from, guaranteed more interesting than compromising into harmony. The key here is to not seek a harmony that covers the hidden frustrations, annoyances and sorrows.

 

Harmony is of course preferable to conflict, but if harmony is made to the highest goal the relationship will not develop. There are lots of challenges in all relationships, given that there is a desire for passion, humor and adventure left. From these challenges individuals and the relationship can grow. In my previous relationships there were always a degree of jealousy involved. Usually, the girl was jealous of my ex or another girl from my history, while I was more worried about the nice bartender or the charming manager at work. Some pretend that they are not interested in others, “I only see you.” But we all know that it is impossible to go through life without being attracted to a lot of people. As my teacher used to say, “nobody is masturbating to monogamy, same old partner year after year” … Instead of facing reality, it is common for couples to repress their sexuality, or having a secret affair. Lies are preferred instead of telling the truth to the partner and risk upsetting the harmony. But how could that help you really close to each other? I sat next to a man at a wedding, who told me that he and his wife sit down once a year and tell each other who else they want to sleep with. “Good thing!” I exclaimed impressed. Burning jealousy, being honest and coming closer to each other. The next step could be to out of unconditional love invite the person who your partner is attracted to. It is perhaps too much for most, but I know people who do this too.

 

There is so much we are dissatisfied with in our relations. One is stingy, the other has no self-distance and so it was – you guessed it, the sex life. In anonymous surveys among couples viewer found that over 90% think that sex life is important, and that over 70% are dissatisfied. After the honeymoon, that lasts longer for some, the sex life becomes increasingly routine. That tantric sex is the best medicine for that I do not doubt for a second, but the topic here is not sex. The problem again is that no one wants to disturb the “harmony” in the relationship. “What if my partner knew what I am fantasying, he would become sad or angry.” At the moment, I have been dating a girl for about four months. We continually tell each other about our fantasies and using it as fuel in our sex life. It becomes both more attractive and, above all, greater relaxation in the relationship when jealousy and secrets are not piled up under the surface. Jealousy is not like some believe a necessary evil if you are in love. On the contrary, it depends on the idea that we own each other and that someone else is interested in my property. How nice wouldn’t it be to be able to enjoy that our partner gets picked up by charming admirers, instead of feeling threatened? Transparency is crucial in all parts of the relationship. If honesty is combined with a genuine wish to outgrow selfish behavior, the relationship can reach unimaginable heights. It may not be harmony all the time, but it will be more genuine.

 

3 Love relationships of the future

 

Become the perfect partner instead of searching for one

Unconsciously, I have probably always been looking for the perfect life. It was for many years a hunt that I finally realized wasn’t making me happy. In recent years I have tried to be a better person and the interesting thing is that my life quality simultaneously also has become better. I have more flow. What if it works the same in relationships too! If, instead of looking for the perfect person to come into our lives to make us whole, we could begin to make an effort to become like the one we yearn for. Unconsciously, this is probably what I have been doing for a while. Through therapy, books, courses, and above all my teachers advices, I have begun to grind away my selfish patterns and develop my talents and interests.

I try to: Be generous where I earlier was stingy, calm down instead of excusing myself with talk about poor patience, listen instead of asserting myself, wash someone else’s dishes when I previously only took care of my own, give a massage instead of waiting for one, bring the silverware and glasses for everyone and not only for me, having fun with my date instead of thinking about how I can get her home and develop my sex life to be able to give the girl an enjoyable experience, instead of selfishly continuing with a mediocre sex life which primarily was about coming in as many girls as possible.

Of course, everything was not all bad before, and I’m far from perfect now, but I am sure that I am a much better, more confident and more loving boyfriend today than a few years ago. And it shows in the relationships. I do not hunt like before, instead nicer and nicer people show up by themselves. Insha’Allah!

 

Actually, it is obvious. Everyone wants to have a partner that has a drive with personal interests, is confident in oneself instead of jealous, good in bed, funny and loving. Such a person does not need to look for the perfect girl- or boyfriend. Life is good as it is and you will attract others. The only problem is that it does not go by itself to develop as a person. It is tedious. Otherwise everyone would do it. But rather than expecting the world, society, your parents or your current or future partner to make you happy, it’s better to put the responsibility on the only person really responsible. Yourself. In my opinion it is essential for future relations that anyone involved has decided that the highest goal is to continue to develop as person. “It sounds self-absorbed,” I hear someone say. That could have been, but it is not true because one of the most important characteristics of a highly developed human being is that she is generous, compassionate and loving towards her environment. Your close relationships can serve as a mirror of your development. If you experience deeper friendship, more joy, more trust and relaxation, more passion but less jealousy – then these are clear signs that you are developing in a positive direction.

 

3rd Stage relationship

The term is invented by David Deida and refers to a way of life in which you are practicing to give to your intimate partner and to your surroundings without expecting anything in return, consequently unconditional love. The main purpose of the relationship is to grow as people and that includes lovingly violating each other’s boundaries to confront and transcend fears and desires, hence increasing the freedom and comfort zone. In 3rd stage you can give your gift to the world both from your masculine and feminine side. 

 

For us to be able to develop to our full potential, it is essential that we allow all parts of our character to be nourished. According to the Tantric approach everyone have a masculine and a feminine side, but few of us develop both. 3rd Stage relationship is a term that my teacher’s teacher David Deida uses. From there I get a part of my inspiration, but I also mix in other things I have learned and my own insights. I see the term as synonymous with love relationships of the future, where I would like to highlight three areas:

 

  1. You have both set as the highest goals to develop individually to become better people
  2. You practice unconditional love
  3. You separately and together develop both your masculine and feminine side and are use them to create polarity between you

 

To give you a better picture of what these and especially number 3 mean I’ll give you a background to David Deidas model. This is my interpretation, for those who want to immerse themselves I recommend his books. He has written several bestsellers and has invented a terminology called 1st, 2nd and 3rd stage relationship. To understand the whole picture, I will attempt to give a brief explanation of the steps. What is central is that both men and women have a masculine and a feminine side. If we are free, men generally (there are all kinds of variations) want to act from their masculine side a greater part of the time, and women generally want to be in their feminine energy greater part of the time. But many of us have lost touch with our natural instincts and might not feel at home in any of the two aspects of being human.

 

1st Stage relationship. This is how relations worked in the older days and still do in some countries today. There is polarity in the relationship, which means that passion is possible, but the relationship is not healthy:

  • The woman is immaturely feminine and submits to man’s will. She does not stand up for her real needs and are not confident in her feminine core
  • The man is masculine, but in a low developed way and decide over the woman. He does it according to his own selfish needs and is not confident in his masculine core

 

2nd Stage relationship. This is by far the most common type of relationship in Sweden and the Western world. There has been a development that certainly is preferable to the 1st stage. The key in this stage is to always strive for harmony in the relationship and even treat each other like best friends:

  • The woman has developed her masculine side, she can go dressed in costume, be the CEO of large enterprises, manage family finances and determine where the holiday is celebrated
  • The man has developed his feminine side and can now help take care of the children, clean the home and talk about feelings

 

2nd stage is about respecting each other’s boundaries and thereby creating harmony. The problem in the 2nd stage is that the polarity is often lost when the honeymoon is over and in addition the couple and the individuals do not develop, since they constantly stay within their comfort zone. The problem in the 2nd stage is that the polarity is often lost when the honeymoon period is over. Equality leads to everybody being similar, becoming buddies instead of a hot loving couple. It is also common that the woman becomes kind of a mother for the man and that the man feels guilty. Passion and sex life obviously suffers, with the result that both parties feel unsatisfied and bored. Infidelity and divorces have become standard. In addition, many women are burnt out by having to be in control both at work and at home. In the attempt to become as equal as possible, the man has lost his masculine core and the woman has lost her feminine radiance. Equality, that everyone should have the same opportunities, is of course something positive. But perhaps it has gone too far when we do not want to admit that we also appreciate the differences.

 

3rd stage relationship. Central to the relationship is that both parties are committed to primarily develop as humans beings. This i partly done through lovingly violating each other’s boundaries, to confront and move beyond fears and desires that often originate from childhood. This increases the comfort zone and the relationship is more about what you can give than what you can get, because you want to see your partner reach his/her full potential. You give your partner the same rights that you would give to your best friend. It might not sound very advanced, but the fact is that virtually no one is doing this today. If our beloved, for example, behaves in a way that makes us jealous, it is normal to require him or her to stop doing that. While our partner may just have a little fun and be charmed by some admirer. We do not want to meet and feel our own fears, instead we give in to the need for control and ownership. You would not do that to your best friend, would you?

 

In this relationship, it is important to be honest to yourself and your partner about how you feel, rather than to seek harmony. It allows both parties to grow as human beings and thus the relationship flourishes. Polarity between the masculine and feminine is embraced, to increase the attraction:

 

  • The woman has found her natural femininity again. She is like a spontaneous and joyful dancing child, she is comfortable in the different feminine energies (also the dark ones) and unrestrained in her sexuality which gives her an amazing charisma. She enjoys letting herself be led and looked after, but in return, willing to make it beautiful around her and also making herself  attractive to her surroundings. Furthermore, the woman is comfortable with, when the situation calls for it, going into the masculine energy to make important decisions. She may therefore still make a career as CEO or politician in a suit, but she does not get burned out since she can regain energy in her feminine, lovingly lead by her masculine man
  • The man has regained command over himself and found his masculine core. When he is in his masculine he is very present with the woman, makes all the major decisions in the relationship, but he does not do it for his own needs. Instead, he tries to guess what can make the woman happy since his greatest wish is to open her in love. He is strong, secure and the deep man that his woman can trust. But even the man finally becomes drained of energy by constantly being in his masculine and he is therefore comfortable going into his feminine. He can still decorate the home and pick up the kids at daycare, and maybe, he even dares to put on a nice dress to surprise his woman and create tension in the relationship

 

In the 3rd stage, both the man and the woman get total outlet for all their potential as human beings. They choose to actively create polarity, which means that the passion does not disappear with age. On the contrary it may even increase. They are not best friends, there are others who have those roles. Instead, they are lovers, just as they were when the romance arose. Generally it is said that a woman naturally would chose to be 80% of the time in her feminine and 20% in her masculine and the average man the reverse. However, there are all sorts of variations, an example is Margaret Thatcher who thrived in the masculine most of the time.

 

Myself I seem to enjoy being in my masculine 60-70% of the time, so it would be good for me to be together with a girl who wants to be in her feminine 60-70% of the time, to create polarity. In my recent long relationship my girlfriend rather wanted go to the Spa while I wanted to ski. It meant that I was opposed to the whole Spa concept and made fun of girls wasting their time there. But since I got to know my feminine side (and named her to Erika) I have begun to appreciate the spa, beauty treatments, delicately painted nails and other nice things. It’s really nice and I still enjoy skiing. 😉

 

A couple who practice 3rd stage normally has decided who is “husbanding” the other, that means who is leading from the masculine and who follows. But the couple also uses “reversed polarity”, where they switch roles and then the woman husbands the man who in turn enters his feminine. This gives an extra spice and moreover it creates a greater understanding of each other. Continuous constructive feedback is crucial for the relationship to flourish. To sign a contract about the rules and expectations on each other in the relationship is highly recommended. Most people enter a relationship with a picture of what they want, but it is not shown until after a while. With a contract the transparency is total, there is a consensus on the purpose of the relationship and the risk of being disappointed is reduced. An intimate relationship is often life-changing, it is not wise to not write down the framework on a paper, but instead expect the other to adapt.

 

3rd Stage relationships are extremely rare today, it is said that only 1 in 100 actually understand what it is all about and even fewer are ready to practice it. But I believe and hope that this can change quickly. I have closely witnessed couples with several children who managed to get the spark back into their relationship and cuddle as if they were teenagers in love. I have also tentatively tested the practice myself, and it’s really fun, exciting and sexy.

 

Feedback from others is important

“You can not hear yourself,” I remember my father saying to me when I was a teenager. I hated to hear him say it. Today I understand better what he meant. Probably I sounded really rude and if I would have heard a recording of myself, it would have been become obvious. Most of us do not like to hear ourselves on sound recordings and even worse to see ourselves on film. It’s so embarrassing! The question is why it would be embarrassing, why do we feel ashamed to see ourselves?

 

Today, the answer is obvious to me. It is only when we see ourselves from the outside, it becomes clear how fake we are. The voice sounds strangly geeky because of a tense throat due to stress, we smile nervously, stretch our back unnaturally to win respect, unconsciously enter into a debate to show we are right or hiding in order not to be seen. This is clearly visible from the outside. But we do not see ourselves. My teacher usually asks the audience how long time it takes for them to see whether their partner is in a good or bad mood. A second is the usual response, it can be seen very clearly from outside. But the partner may still with certainty assert that all is well. Some can walk around for hours, days and even lives without knowing that they are stressed, rude, abusive and negative.

 

It is for this reason that all serious spiritual practitioners and all others who also want to develop as human beings, are open to feedback from others. Not only open, you should actively ask for it. Ultimately, you must make your own decisions, but good advice is very valuable. Especially from those who know you well like your partner, siblings, best friends and why not your own parents. I asked dad for constructive criticism of my behavior a few months ago. Not only did I get very useful information, he was also delighted and honored that I asked. It brought us closer together.

 

So we loseourselves as individuals in our self-deceptions, and so we do also as couples. In my school, we have an expression for it, “Cult of pairs”. If we do not get coaching from the outside, our Ego, i.e. our defense behaviors, probably will select a partner with defense behaviors that do not challenge our own. Then we go into a private bubble where our common pattern is cemented, as in the example with the couple who had been married for 40 years. That is why a couple who practice 3rd Stage realtion have a group of trained friends who can provide constructive feedback on their behavior. This is to avoid, for others obvious negative behaviors, like jealousy, controlling, making the other small, disinterest and even other more elusive as the lack of attention or Romantic Dreaming.

 

Romantic dreaming is something that almost everyone is engaged in, and many also think is nice. The problem is that it comes with a price. I met a girl for a couple of summer months and suddenly I had built up a story that she would go a tantric course in my school and travel with me during the winter. These things can of course happen and there’s nothing wrong with that, but I had put expectations on her and our life together. In fact, as soon as you in your head are trying to fit another person into your own future life, you are by definition doing Romatic dreaming. Some are extreme, they can already after the first date  start planning how they want to change the curtains in the home of the other, think about how the family will receive, paint pictures of the honeymoon and wonder how many children the other could want. All such expectations are predestined to create disappointment and therefore Romantic dreaming should be avoided completely. To plan the future together is of course nothing wrong, but it goes without saying that it may be foolish to plan and to even think years in advance after a few months of dating. The future is, as everyone knows unpredictable. For those couples who dare to receive feedback from the outside, the risk is dramatically decreased to get caught up in their own negative patterns such as cult of pairs, drama or surrealistic dreams.

 

The intention is crucial and promise to something that is sacred to you

OK, you and your partner have the sincere intention that you want to give the other love without putting up conditions and moreover, you are both open to at all costs learn to become better people. It gives an entirely different basis for a relationship. We can take conflicts as an example. In a passionate relationship there will invariably turn up conflicts and that is absolutely no sign that the relationship is unhealthy. The key is how to solve the conflict. I get angry at you for coming home late without hearing from you, so that I had to take care of them yourself. Then you will be angry at me because I did so yesterday, but did not apologize. The conflict has started. I feel angry, but also anxiety and tears are pushing. But somewhere inside me I know I am triggered and then I know that I’m not thinking clearly. “Time out, I’m triggered”. Somewhere there’s a willingness to understand why I am riled up, to learn, so that I can meet my love with an open heart. This is more important than winning the battle, because I want to develop. It may be good to have a code word in the relationship when one is triggered and the one that says the code word first during a conflict, is usually the one who had the highest awareness at the moment. The single most effective way to unite and heal wounds from childhood, is daring to make yourself vulnerable instead of defending its position. “I’m really angry and sad now, I am triggered. Please, can you hold me? ” If you say it frankly and in a vulnerable way, your partner will soften and hold you. Otherwise, you’re with the wrong person.

 

Now we have come quite far. We have two people who both have the intention to develop. This includes trying to give unconditionally and to promote the polarity between the masculine and feminine to get to enjoy passion. What are the guarantees? None really, but there is one aspect that can increase the likelihood that the relationship will flourish. A businessman and friend of mine said that the logic of negotiation in business also applies in relationships. When there is trouble and difficulties, it is exclusively about two parties fighting over positions. It is important to instead look at the interests or objectives of the parties. Most often the objectives are similar and when both see this, it becomes much easier to be constructive to agree. It is better to discuss common interests and goals, rather than positions.

 

So what is the point here? There will balance if you want to be with someone who has the same goals as you and the same strength in their promise to achieve this goal. It is super if both have as their highest objective to develop, but who will you promise it to so that it is not just empty words? To promise it to the other is equally uncertain as to promise it to yourself. The ego will always infiltrate, so that you unknowingly have yourself as the highest priority. That’s when you have a benefit of believing in something bigger than yourself. Do you believe in God promise to God, it will not be holier than that. Most people in the West do not believe in God according to the traditional view, but if you can not think of anything greater or more important than your own person, it becomes impossible to give unconditional love to someone else. I do not use the word God myself, but I know that there is something more sacred than me and my personal history. When I promise something to the Universe, the Source, Nature and Creation, I can not lie. You could promise to humanity, to love itself or perhaps to your children – born or unborn. The important thing is that it is a sacred promise to you. If I get together with a girl who has something she holds holier than herself, and she promises to that Holy thing to do her best to make me happy, then I know that I can trust her. Nothing is more important than trust in a relationship.

 

4 Prepare for kids – yours or your best friend’s

 

Are you really going to have children?

Now the message will be a little harder. Earth is overpopulated because there is a greed around the “getting” children. It belongs to the template that everyone should have children and this is according to my teacher perhaps the most unconscious programming of all. This is not a popular opinion, many feel threatened and become directly pissed off when they hear that someone is not interested in having children. Most parents are not adequate for the task, they can not give their children the love, security, attention and freedom that the children need to be happy as adults. However, there are those people who always loved children, ever since they were teenagers they have signed up to be babysitters and they can play with children for hours without getting tired. If did not give in to the desire that everybody absolutely must pass their individual genes on, we could go together like uncles, aunts, godfather and godmother and support parents who peacefully and lovingly can raise the next generation. In this way we can also give our earth, nature and animals some breathing room – the overpopulation can be alleviated. Today we have the technical resources to take care of an aging population, especially if we are not constantly becoming more and more taking part of what the earth can produce.

 

If several of your best friends have kids and you do not really feel a strong desire for many years of changing diapers, lack of sleep, interrupting the career, forced to turn down trips and parties, stay home alone, etc. – so maybe you can ignore the template and try being the world’s best godfather or godmother instead? Babysit and take the kids on a ski trip when they become older. Perhaps also support with money. If we zoom out from the little egoistic perspective and remember what I said in the beginning about the sound and logical thinking, it becomes quite obvious.

 

But who knows, maybe you are the perfect mother or father. You have always longed for children, not for your own sake, and especially not because your friends have children, but because you have so much patience and love to give so you do not know what to make of it otherwise. Above all, you get confirmed by others who know you well and are honest with yourself, that you would be a good parent. It is not your own view of your skills that is important, for we are good at manipulating. No it’s the outside world that can see if you are the right person to give birth to the next generation of children in this world. If you are it is the time to start preparing to give your children the best possible start in life. Now we start entering a part that may sound extreme, but it is not just theory. I know several people who did this and I have also met two children who had the benefit to grow up with such parents. Those children were by far more confident and happier than ordinary children.

 

Parenthood must be a deeply conscious decision

We assume that the mother and father have practiced 3rd stage relationship for several years. Thus, they are absolutely honest with each other, they have worked with their selfish patterns, they give each other love without conditions of behavior, conflicts are of short duration and results in them understand each other better and they grow as people. Furthermore, they are happy in themselves and with each other, they do not get children like some do because they hope children will make them happier or save the relationship. If they have not already done a so called Primal Therapy is high time for this.

 

In my tantric school one can do a one-week intensive course and there are many other places that offer this. During this week, which is not comfortable, we get to go back and see how our own mother and father unconsciously affected us. It has occurred to such a degree that men unconsciously project their mother’s characteristics in the women they meet and that women unconsciously see their father in the men they are dating. When we go to the bottom with our first relationships we will also get in touch with the hatred that basically everyone has for their parents. Buried deep down. To face this hatred is a necessary if it is not to control our behavior and it is also a prerequisite for genuine unconditional love. The love for our parents is there, underneath the garbage. I have met many parents who, after a primal in shock have realized how many of their own parents’ dysfunctional behaviors they pass on to their children. They say for example; “Oh my God what have I done? Luckily I saw it now, I just hope my children can forgive me. What awakening, I will never raise them in the same way again.” Being disappointed in your child is insane. It is you who have created the one you are disappointed in. All parents should enroll in Primal therapy, preferably yesterday.

 

Furthermore, it is smart to sign a contract about what the parents expect of each other and what they can promise their future children. One may want to travel or work a lot. The others may want to be home more. How do we make money? We are all different and there’s no reason to follow any template for how we shall live our lives. It is better that all the dreams and wishes come up before the kids are born. To have children is perhaps the most life changing decisions a person can take in life and you are tied to your partner at the time for the rest of your life. It is not wise to not make deep research beforehand and write a clear contract. Don’t assume that a child is happier when both parents take turns according to a principle of equality, particularly if both feel that it is a compromise. Certainly, a child have the right to both a mother and a father, but it is also important that the parents do not lose their freedom. “The leg-iron”, like a friend of mine jokingly calls her baby. There are many others around which at times can act as loving role models. If there is no such support from friends or grandparents, you should once again consider whether you are a suitable parent. This also applies if you have financial difficulties to give your children a stable upbringing. A person who has difficulty sorting out his/her own life and relationships, will obviously not be able to give their children everything that a child needs. This may hurt to hear and understand, but it is not just about what I want.

 

Give birth to children through a healthy sex life

Warning, now this will become more “fuzzy”. Most of what I describe two of my teachers have told me, from their own experience. If something seems too weird don’t get stuck with it, it took some time before I bought in to parts of this.

 

In addition to the greed around having children, there is also a greed in how we have sex with each other. “I need sex”, it is even a matter for negotiation in many relationships. Tantric sex where the man does not ejaculate and the woman don’t come on her clitoris gives a whole new sex life. You can read more about tantric sex elsewhere in the blog, but I want to highlight some benefits that are relevant here. A man who does not ejaculate does not have the same greed around sex. He will not just empty his seed in a girl, but be empathetic and have a more relaxed attitude to sex with deeper balance and control. The woman on her part avoids the corresponding orgasm, the one leading to pumping and contractions in the vagina. Instead, the couple enjoy Tantric orgasms together where they make love deeply for hours, sometimes with no idea of ​​time and space. The woman has learned to get womb orgasms and have no pain to speak of in the vagina. The sexual energy is the strongest we have and it is also the one bring life forward. It seems healthy to use this energy in a better way than to, day by day – year after year eject it in a five-second orgasm, especially when planning to create life with it.

 

Parents prepare by purifying their bodies of toxins they stuffed into themselves over the years. I know a couple who did a 18-day treatment with sauna every day and rawfood. It may sound a bit extreme for some, and perhaps not as many days are needed, but it seems more important to be clean and physically healthy before conception compared to buying the most expensive baby stroller model a year later. When the couple make love, they try to do it in satori, so that nature itself guides the event. They love each other and merge. By pressing on the prostate, sperm slowly slip out through the penis instead of through the spasmic pumping movements. This can also be experienced as an orgasm, I myself have been experiencing such that last for minutes. The egg is fertilized and the first cell multiply in an environment where the mother and father are in heaven together. A single cell contains 100 000 trillions of atoms (interestingly about as many as there are cells in a human). It is an extremely complicated structure having a life of itself. I assume it is likely that the first cell is feeling better in a conception as described above, compared with a conception when drunk man is coming with a spasm-orgasm in a drunk woman after ten minutes of sex the night after a house party. My teacher used to say that no one knows if there is a God up there. But if there is something bigger, we can call it nature or the universe flow, then it is not unlikely that this greater force would reward a beautiful fertilization that takes place in harmony with nature.

 

Another type of nascency

That mothers should take care of themselves during pregnancy, there is broad agreement on, so I thought I would not put much effort into this. It is obvious that everything happening to the mother, including the emotions she feels, will affect the fetus in one way or another. Stress and anxiety is probably as bad as drinking alcohol or eating artificial food. As birth is approaching, there is a way to give birth to children that is not so common today. We can begin by trying to put ourselves in the child’s point of view. It is safe in the womb of its mother. It is quiet, dark, 37C degrees warm and weightless in water. How about trying to make the birth environment as similar as possible?

 

A tantric woman is de-armorerad and can get a womb orgasm will giving birth to children, with significantly less pain compared to other women. This is obvious for those who have experienced pressing on the cervix of an ordinary woman and hearing her hysterical screams of pain, compared to pressing at the same place inside the vagina of a tantric woman and see her open up in pleasure. Because there will not be the same unmanageable pain at birth, there is no need for the mother drugging herself and thus drugging the child with pain relief. She can be sober, just as nature, of course, meant it to be. For the small pristine organism that is on the way out, it is preferable that the first contact with the new world is not while being drugged. There seems to be some idea that it does not matter for your baby what is happening at birth, because they still do not remember. It is among the dumbest thing I have heard. For instance, there are many who through hypnosis can remember their birth and even though we can not imagine and shape verbal memories, it is obvious that a baby feels pain. The pain can not go anywhere else than straight into the nervous system that is affected for life. Science agree that we are largely formed during our first three years of life, although we do not remember anything from that time.

 

The baby is pressing, the woman’s womb opens up and because the nerves that are stimulated at birth are the same as the ones stimulated during sex, the tantric woman opens in an orgasm when she gives birth. The child is brought to the world sober and clean, through his mother’s orgasmic vagina down into body temperature water in a dark and tranquil room. Directly the child is brought up to the mother to hold the little miracle and the umbilical cord is left unspoiled. And why not have a few loved ones around who sings beautifully and holding lighted candles. Hallelujah! 🙂

 

Yes, it’s almost like one become religious oneself… But seriously. This sure sounds better than being drugged, getting your head tightly squeezed through a too narrow birth canal, accompanied by your mother’s hysterical screams of pain. When you then look out there is light instead of dark, cold air instead of hot water and perhaps a stressful environment in an industrial streamlined hospital. As if this was not enough, the umbilical cord is usually cut directly in front of you, your only known life-giving channel. Welcome to Hell!

 

Recently a study was made at Uppsala University in Sweden, where they followed up on 263 children in which cases they waited three minutes to cut the umbilical cord instead of doing it directly. It turned out that these children at the age of four showed significantly better motor activity and social skills compared to children who lost their umbilical cord immediately. THREE minutes and it significantly affects the motor activity and social skills, among the most important qualities of a human being! And people believe that the way of birth does not matter. Nature is not stupid, it’s just to look around to see that everything works in perfect harmony. It is only us humans who have lost touch with the natural flow. It was probably not nature’s intention that we should have institutions where drugged mothers experience their life’s worst horror and pain, when they give birth to the next generation into the world. To take this for granted is like believing that the earth is flat, but almost all did so in the past. Time for some development maybe. For those interested there are more movements than my tantric school studying orgasmic births, see for instance orgasmicbirth.com.

 

5 Orgasmic birth (double-click on the film for full screen):

An orgasmic birth paves the way for the final section of this publication.

 

 

6 Foster free, natural and happy children

 

Young children absorb all the negative energies

A child is completely open, like a blank page ready to be filled with whatever parents and others provide. Previously, I was more unaware of what was going on around me, mainly because I was so obsessed with my own thoughts. When I go downtown today, I see things that I did not previously notice. Everywhere are parents who sighs, jacks up, or complains about their children. It is not sane! Don’t they understand they are complaining about their own behaviors that children take after? Children absorb everything, even the slightest negative energy they will take up in their nervous system, and the younger they are the more affected they will be. I see a dad wrestling for fun with his four-year-old son and for a few seconds the intensity increases and suddenly the little guy doesn’t like it anymore. The father unconsciously acted out a repressed aggression, it was no longer just loving playing. It is so subtle signals, but children feel it.

 

My teacher, who sees this much more clearly than I do, uses to say that walking around in town is like being in a mental hospital without doctors… More and more I see what he means, and it is probably most obvious when I observe young children with their parents. More unconscious behavior is hard to find. Some adults go the other way and talk “baby language” with penetrating voice to children, as if they were stupid. Children are not stupid, they just have less information than we do. But they are much more natural. That’s why we’d better try not to control our children and imposing our own unnatural behaviors. Instead, we want them to be allowed to be as natural, spontaneous and wild as they want. Obviously I do not mean that it is wrong with sound limits like putting on a life jacket, prevent kids from dragging a dog by the tail or inform them that they will get holes in their teeth if they do not brush them. This may sound contradictory. Children should be given total freedom to be as natural as they want, but there is still some kind of framework for them. We are talking about the next generation of child raising, and some will become more clear later in the text. Right here, we can settle with that it is important that a child’s natural feelings including sexuality never is wrong, a parent must always meet those with patience and unconditional love. This does not apply when a child is making drama, pretending to test the limits. Then the parent can instead lovingly but firmly say no. Common sense is important, you get the point.

 

A child grows up and believes the world is all good

We are not perfect and it is of course impossible to do exactly everything right when raising children. But we can try. I will continue the Hallelujah-story with the child above who was born during a womb orgasm. Again I want to emphasize that this is not science fiction, I have met children and parents who did this – even if those parents of course aren’t absolutely perfect.

 

The child has therefore come to the world through the mother’s heavenly orgasm, unlike almost all of us who were born through a trauma. A peaceful and fully open little nervous system is resting in her mother’s arms. The first six months, the child will have skin contact basically at all times, and sleeping in the parents’ bed (a mother never rolls over on her child, given that she is sober). Primarily skin contact with the mother, but also with the father and other relatives who can manage to be calm so that the baby’s nervous system feels secure. Ideally, the grown ups have the ability to be in satori most of the time to give the baby the safest and most loving imprint possible, but that may be too challenging for the current generation – hopefully our children can manage. The parents have support from others, even financially if necessary, so that they can devote themselves fully to providing safety to their baby.

 

After the first six months, the child begins to move and discover the world more. Then begins a phase when the main task for parents and others around the baby is to ensure that the child does not encounter physical damage. Otherwise, the kid gets to do whatever she (ok it will be a girl, we baptize her to Sara) wants and exactly all the emotions are welcome. No feeling is ever maid wrong and certainly not bribed into silence with ice cream or candy. Sure there are small children who test limits and play sad because they do not get their way. The question is where they have learned it? Such behavior, as well as rude speech should naturally not be rewarded, but partly that belongs to common sense and moreover it seems very rare in the children who received the opportunity to be natural. If Sara only meets stable people that encourages natural behavior, she will be convinced that the world is good. Goodness is the only thing she has encountered. In addition, she will be naturally happy because there is no reason not to be. She hurts her toe and she can cry out with someone, but it goes away quickly.

 

Sara will thus differ significantly from normal children today. Firstly she will feel a lot more, because she did not have to suppress her feelings because of pain, loneliness, lack of love and reprimands. A child who has been hurt will regularly do “stupid” things and constantly test the limits. Conscious parenting brings different children, who assume that the world is all good and they only have goodness within him. Everything is naturally not totally black or white. The children I have met with this upbringing are not absolutely perfect, but they are so easy that their parents can count the number of times they’ve been whining on one hand. A father shared the following story about his, at the time, 9-year-old son.

 

We sat on the airplane when I asked myself out loud if the drinks were on the way. “They are not here yet Dad,” my son said with a somewhat brusque tone. “That tone, I do not tolerate from anyone, not from you either,” I replied in a flash. It was noticeable that my son became sad and a little ashamed, he was not used to being reprimanded at all. I myself had some bad conscience, it was an unusual situation for us. After a few minutes, I asked him if we could figure out a way to handle similar situations in the future, so that we could work as a team rather than one lecturing the other. I suggested that we could have a code word. “Yes, Pancakes!”, exclaimed my son excited. Then we laughed together and were reunited. If a similar situation would arise again we just say, “OK, now there seems to be little pancakes on here.” So there will be no more drama and we continue to be close to each other.

 

I realize that the method is not revolutionary and that it could work on some of today’s kids, too, but it points out some important things. You want to treat your child as an equal, that you are a team. Then they learn to take responsibility. The father also told me that this was the exception that confirms the rule, he normally never needs to reprimand his son. Instead he and his wife educate their child. They give him all the necessary information and then he will make his own decisions. He likes to play computer games, he plays about an hour a day. But not once has it happened that he whined when parents ask him to stop and go to bed. “Ok mom,” he simply say and shut down the computer directly.

 

If you as a reader feel irritated or hung up on something in this text, I ask you to focus on the main messages. Maybe you’re a good mom or dad who is already doing most things right. But there is always more to learn. It is very important to always recognize children’s feelings, to have compassion for them and make them feel wanted. “I feel you honey”. You are always on the same side. Children are sexual from birth, all the nerves that can give you orgasms works also in a baby. Therefore, it feels good for the kids to play with their gender and also their anal. It is natural. Parents must therefore be careful to not in any way prevent their children to explore their own sexuality. Maybe they want to play mother, father, children, or doctor and patient with their peers. Adults, who feel uncomfortable due to these innocent sexual games, do best to stay away, so they do not force their own shame on to the children. What we want to achieve here is not only to make the world a little better. We want to get to a paradigm shift for humanity, a quantum leap for human consciousness. It is much easier to work proactively than trying to cure the disease when it erupted. Thus, it is much easier not to hurt the future children than to trying to heal all our wounds. Although, of course we have to try doing both.

 

Community

To accomplish this requires, as some readers certainly understood, a suited environment. But take it easy, it need not be a collective like in the 70s where all are vegans and no one shaves under the arms. 😉 However, something is wrong in society when maternity and paternity parents are alone with their children all day long. It’s really a hand full to be alone with a child day after day. Partly, they want attention all the time and it is only you who can give it. In addition, anyone will get bored with the monotonous “dialogue”, and if you are bored it is more difficult to give warm love. Single parents dress their children and then goes around and pull the stroller in the park. A very common sight today which many take for granted, but think back historically. It has never, in any single culture, looked that way.

 

The best would probably be a small community where several families help each other. I have a friend who grew up in a 3-family system in London. It was like one big herd he says, parents became more free to travel and have fun and it created safety and friendships between children. However, small children would of course do not live in an urban environment if they had the choice. For our children’s sake a community should be close to nature, a green residential area could work. We imagine four houses that are adjacent where parents like each other and have similar views on raising children. You know it is easier to be three adults and six children together in an open environment, than to be alone with a child who needs constant attention. The children take care of each other, it is usually enough with one adult supervising. If not all necessarily to have as many children, (remember our overpopulated earth) perhaps it would be 5-6 children in these houses with eight adults. On top of that we have grandparents, godfather and aunt who can help (given that they are people who feel good in themselves). Everything will be so much more flexible, very easy for a couple to go away for a week on mini-honeymoon. Kids can run back and forth between the houses and need never be lonely if they do not want to. Cooking and similair rotates, it is not much harder to cook spaghetti Bolognese (or corn mince if you so wish) to ten people compared to three – besides it is more fun. And quite comfortable when you have three consecutive days without cooking, especially if you have a job to do on the side. If you have the economy for it the four families could hire a full time nanny who the kids love. Even more time to do your Life´s Purpose (see My practice under About me) in the world.

 

Another great advantage of not isolating individual babies and small children with their families is that children get more role models. This reduces the risk that they are forced to copy their parents’ dysfunctional behaviors. There are other parents to watch too and the most appropriate behavior in any situation, likely the most natural, the children will take after. That is how evolution works. If all the adults in the community are open to constructive feedback, it could certainly be very interesting meals when everyone is gathered. As the children get older, upbringing might go the other way. We all know that it is from the children we are told the truth.

 

Kindergarten and school can be a disaster for an undamaged child

I have a friend who grew up in a small village in northern Sweden. She had a sheltered childhood with a father who adored his little daughter. This little girl loved to sing, dance and do shows for the family and friends who could not stop rejoice in her wonderful, loving smile. She grew up in a belief that people were nice. When she was seven years old, it was time to start school. This little cute girl looking forward to this as she heard about, she would get to meet a lot of new friends who were the same age as her. Open, happy and innocent, she went to school – unsuspecting. The problem was that there were other children who did not have the same loving upbringing. If you look at seven year olds, the difference is huge in how happy, relaxed and natural they are. Children who had a tough start in life can be terribly cruel. They can not bear to see anyone else so happy and pure and this girl was more or less constantly bullied for nine years. She has told me that it was more or less horror every morning when she came to school. Would she be locked up in the toilet, be spit on or just not be welcome to play with the others? The adults saw nothing or closed their eyes. The result is that she is today, 15 years later, still afraid of public speaking, and generally find it difficult to feel safe when relating to others. Despite many years of therapy and work on herself. This is not unusual, but rather common. My nephew is a happy little guy and he has been bitten in the cheek, ostracized and bullied in kindergarten already from the age of 3. You can tell when he was been a few weeks in kindergarten, compared with after a holiday. Kindergarten makes him more frustrated and less happy.

 

Kindergarten and schools are places where lightly wounded children meet average wounded and deeply wounded children. Neuroses in the form of dysfunctional behavior are propagated from wounded parents to their children on to other children. The less wounded are taught that the world is harder than they thought, and the more wounded get to see a glimpse of the joy their parents early pushed down their throats. Those who are feeling the worst are often the ones who bully and if you are the parent of a child who bullies you are responsible for it. But of course, children must get the opportunity to meet other’s and learn about the world they live in. A community should not become a totally protected wildlife park, although there are some similarities since undamaged children are also endangered.

 

Osho has said that life moves in cycles of seven years, so if we want to make our children a favor, they get to play free until they are seven years old. Traditionally, children also started school in Sweden at the age of seven. So did I for example and by then I did not know how to read and write. But our girl Sara that we followed since the orgasmic birth is not like other children, she is even more innocent than the other examples above. Putting her in a common Western school would be chaos for her sensitive, open and trusting little nervous system. Therefore, it is likely that the small community must have homeschooling, which is ok if there are enough children to spend time with. Parents can help each other to teach and there are also many private teachers in specialized subjects. The key here is to not force children into a template regarding what they should learn. I go into this in more detail in the long publication under Subject – Society, but briefly summarized can be said that children are very different and have an innate curiosity about life and the world. Certainly it is important to be able to read, write, perform certain exercises and speak English. This you can tell a child and give them the responsibility – every kid will embrace it. But only if you do not force them to learn hydrocarbon bonds in Chemistry, Asia’s rivers in Geography and cross stitch in needlework (still mandatory in Sweden). It is better the kids themselves choose what they want to do. They are likely to put more energy in to it overall and be really good at what they like. All economists know that it is good that each specialize in what they do best. This also applies to our increasingly integrated, global and capitalist world. We do not all have to come in the same intellectual and theoretical shape. Especially not because more and more functions are automated.

 

I realize that some may have objections to the argument above, for instance that it is important to function in the ordinary world too. The fact remains that the mental health of children and young people have never been as great as now. According to Statistics Sweden (SCB) three times as many children and youngsters are depressed today compared to in the 80’s and decision makers have no idea how to change it. It does not seem like more theory and grades at earlier age helps. Homeschooling is not a legal alternative in Sweden. The spirit of the legislation is good, but parents should reasonably be given a chance to prove themselves capable to take care of their own children. My ideas about the future school can be developed much more, but this is not the place for it. In this paper, we try to find out how we can nurture happier and more natural children and not dig ourselves too deeply into education politics. 😉

 

Again, this is not just theory. A child that I know of has got the full package of orgasmic birth plus free and secure childhood. In a Swedish normal school she wouldn’t have made it. When she was six years old, her parents decided to leave Sweden because the authorities there would otherwise take the child from the parents, placing her in public school and foster care. Therefore, they moved to a warm country where this girl got to hang out with other kids in the same situation and she was also studying whatever she thought was fun. Parents helped, teachers visited and the children had the option to go to the classes they most wanted to be in. Quite obvious which teachers were the best, getting the most kids in their classes. I met this girl when she was ten years old and she differed greatly from other children. On one hand, she was trilingual, so there did not seem to be a problem with the studies. But above all, I reacted to that she was so mature for her age, without in any way having lost the joyful and spontaneous childlike spirit. She was very clear with full confidence, did not demand attention, naturally socialized with everyone and was just as happy when she woke up in the morning, as when she went to bed in the evening. I had never met a child like her and the funny thing was that I almost felt like I looked up to her. Although she only reached to my belly.

 

The integration into the ordinary world must be done with care

Obviously, also the undamaged children have to be integrated with the normal world. In a way it is the whole point, to let them spread their happy, confident and loving light to the rest of us so we can see how a completely open human being works. However, it must be done with care. As the child grows in understanding, awareness and stability, she becomes less sensitive to meet the world’s pains and sorrows. Probably there is an age when she can see that the world is not as open, safe and good as she thought – but without her being personally harmed by it. A point when she is so confident in her own light that she continues to shine. (Actually, the exact opposite of when an ordinary child is so injured that the ego instead take over and begin to control life, which you can read more about in the long publication under Subject – Philosophy.) My guess is that this critical age is individual, but somewhere at 14-15 years old children seem to have reached an overview that can be enough. Preferably the integration is done step by step so that it does not come as a shock, but I believe in an absolute secure environment for the first three years and an almost equally protected environment until the age of seven. With “protected”, of course I don’t mean isolated, other children are important to play with. I mean protected from society, its wounded people and other children who did not have the privilege to get the help they need.

 

Utopia is just what we need

This might sound like a utopia for some, and that’s also the idea. People have always needed to believe in something. In today’s modern society, we have lost faith in the traditional God, and it has been replaced by the belief in disasters (just turn on the news), money, power and faith in Myself. Many philosophers have over the millennia emphasized the importance of striving towards a utopia, to have something beautiful to work toward. Please don’t make parallells with Hitler or anything. We should be beyond that after all we been through in this text and blog. But I can understand that what is described in this text sounds difficult, if not impossible to reach for many parents in today’s busy, economic growth chasing and environmentally destructive society. But why not take the steps we can in the right direction? All improvements are beneficial, as a wise woman once said to me.

 

We can not use fancy words or legislate our way to a more natural and happy humanity. Necessary, in addition to good intentions, is hard work with our own dysfunction and helping each other out. Personally I can not think of anything more important than contributing to nurture future healthy and natural children, free from all dysfunctional behaviors that I see down town. I do not mean that everything in society today is crap, obviously there are many beautiful encounters and fine relationships between children and adults. But the recent spiritual practice and interaction with teachers with greater awareness than myself, has opened my eyes. I see things I did not see before, and it is particularly painful to see children come to harm. That is why I have left lucrative jobs as a management consultant and CEO of real estate companies to work with what I’m passionate about. To support and enjoy watching small beautiful communities pop up over the earth and let them spread like a natural, free, joyous and loving virus in this world. It may be a utopia, but I am hopeful and do not really see any other option.

POSTS UNDER THE SUBJECT RELATIONS

Larger perspective: The disease in the human psyche and its symptoms Society

 

Today we live in societies in which we are educated in a template to be normal, well-behaved, tax-paying and producing cogs in the gigantic social machinery. The economy is growing and the material standard is getting better and better. But the question is how well we are feeling and how natural our society really is. In this long text, I give my view on this difficult issue.

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  1. Introduction
  2. Disease symptoms
  3. The system Society is not the solution
  4. Cure the disease at the root
  5. Create a new foundation for the future

 

1 Introduction

Babyface comment: This text was written in August 2015. I can already say that I wish it was more humbly written, but the message is still interesting. Sorry for being too lazy to soften the text… 

 

What is Society? Obviously, there are many answers, just as there are many different societies. Moreover, a society is constantly changing. Thanks to modern technology societies are no longer geographically delimited, they are rather built on relationships. I will try to make a definition so that we are on the same track:

A society is from the beginning a group of people united by a network of social relationships of some duration and continuity. In a modern society the group agrees about control means, laws of desired behavior and punishment for those who break the laws. Modern society is a self-fulfilling system, with no place for what humans perceive as meaning.

 

Throughout this publication, I will come back to what I perceive to be a natural human and put it in comparison to the human being in modern society. I want to make a difference between natural, which is to be in tune with nature, and normal which is to be like most others. It’s normal to be stressed and be ashamed when you are naked, but it is natural? I will also be concentrating on modern Western society where we live in democracy, because it is considered by many to be the most civilized system we have today.

 

Many of us have a sense there’s something about our society that does not feel completely healthy. It shows itself in many different ways: violent football hooligans, radical political activists, criminals, racists and anti-racists, rejection of society by isolating themselves in a monastery or the most common – to simply complain. In principle, no one seems to be completely satisfied with the society we live in, but where the blame lies  is difficult to agree upon even if everyone is pointing in any direction away from oneself. There seems to be a belief in the perfect system, and from this belief, political ideologies, but also religious beliefs emerged. Perhaps the perfect tax system, the new laws or mine particular view of school and healthcare would solve all the problems …

Frustrerade fotbollshuliganer hålls på plats av polisen. Men varför är de frustrerade från början?

Frustrated football hooliganism held in place by the police. But why are they frustrated in the first place?

We seem to agree there is some kind of disease with a variety of symptoms and then we argue about which symptoms are worst, and how they can be mitigated. Many similarities exist with cancer, which, unsurprisingly, spread rapidly in the western world. The headlines tell us that stress, poor sleep and artificial food causes cancer. But why we have the “normal” behavior that causes cancer and especially how we change to a healthy natural behavior, few people have answers to. Instead, all resources are used to ease symptoms by cell treatments and other methods rather than to cure the original disease, i.e. finding the root of the disease. It’s the same in society where we complain about everything that is wrong and trying to legislate to prevent it, instead of going to the root of people’s dysfunctional behavior. After all, it is humans with our collective behaviors which make the society, although many rather seems to think that society is a machine that must be calibrated according to their particular head.

 

2. Disease symptoms

Here is the most depressed part of this publication, but from the media, we are accustomed to wallow in problems, so I hope you bother  to keep reading ;).

 

The Earth is overpopulated, there should not be any doubt about it. Right now we are on track to eight billion people. There is an explosive growth and those who count on this mean that we will soon be over 10 billion. There are people absolutely everywhere and we live on top of eache other in larger and larger cities. I am constantly amazed when I look out the airplane window on flights across Europe. There are cities and agriculture almost everywhere, some occasional groves may remain. Humanity really have colonized this planet and supplanted other animals and natural vegetation. It is said that animal species are dying out faster now than ever before in Earth’s history, there is thus a mass extinction worse than after the comet stroke. We need space,  or as it looks like in this small perspective; I need space. I need to consume like I want. I must make sure my genes reproduce. Why does each person necessarily need to pass on their genes? Are we not more aware than just seeing our own little bubble? Of course it is natural that we as a species would ensure the survival of the species, but as I see it is the survival of humans is instead threatened by the greed underlying the population growth. In this way, humans look like a parasite or virus. We multiply ourselves and use all resources at our host animal, which in this case is our only home, Mother Earth. I hope and believe that we are capable of increasing awareness so that we can find a more sustainable way of passing on our genes.

 

Because everyone wants to consume as we do in the Western world, we have to devastate nature. It is crazy that we are still using GDP as a measure of human success. It means that politicians, industry and other policy makers see as the main objective that residents shall consume more goods and services. The more we consume, the better it goes for a region, country or humanity. This is taking place on a planet with limited resources. The equation is impossible, and that nature is suffering is given. Most people see themselves as part of society rather than a part of nature and if you look a little closer at it, you realize how sick it is. It’s like when the white settlers bought land from the Indians in America. They paid with alcohol and a contract. For the Indians who lived in harmony with nature, it was an absurd idea that a man could own land. We are born out of nature, in nature we live and die. Nature is always present, we are the people that come and go. Just like society, which is just a castle in the air, that work only as long as we believe in it. What kind of society over-utilize nature, the hand that feeds us? It is time for a new measure of human success, a measure that takes into account the nature and animals. It is primarily for our own sake. Nature will recover after we disappeared, which we will do. Sooner or later.

 

We are all neurotic and our neuroses are handed down from generation to generation. It is visible in the small world around us. There may be children who bully kids in kindergarten, old people who complain about the youth they themselves fostered or middle-aged who are worried when they go to work. I have a friend who works as a nurse in the emergency room and she says it just seems to be more and more people coming in because of psychological problems. Often they are young people who do not feel any meaning in life and barely know who they are. According to SCB depressed youngster in three times more common in Sweden today compared to in the 80s. More will be burned out, depressed and forced to go to psychologists. We do not see our own neuroses, but we can clearly see the others. I read a great article by Alex Schulman on the theme:

 

I was on student reception in a suburb outside Stockholm, and when it comes to this type of event, time has stood still. It is as it always has been. It’s punch bowl in the hallway, potato salad and salmon sandwich cake, men with colorful ties along the walls and in sofas sit aunts and uncles with yellowed student caps and rest. There we stand and look at each other with our plastic glass in the hand.

We will be alloted to eat out in the garden and we are moving out, sitting down in the garden furniture where the cushions are hot in the sun. The entire family is there, except the student himself stuck on a “student platform” (see picture below). The father is over and over trying to call him, worried he wonders when his son will arrive.

There is something special to come home to a family, where other families suddenly jostle with each other. Suddenly you see everywhere small scenes from the marriage, scenes of family life. Easy dysfunctional behaviors become normalized after many decades.

A man in late middle age reaches for the wine bottle to refill his glass. His wife sitting next are in conversation with someone else, but she’s got a radar for that. In the conversation, she turns her gaze and supervises her husband, seeing how he fills his glass. She says nothing, she continues the conversation, but she has seen it all.

One of the men in the party draws an anecdote, something he and his wife experienced this weekend. His wife tries to interpose something, he roars: “Do not interrupt me.” The woman stops and smiles nervously. The man continues to tell.

A mother wants her teenage child to come and sit on her lap, she draws him to her, but he tears himself from her grasp and vanishes away.

A girl eating ice cubes from her juice glass and continues despite the father telling her not to. In sudden anger he rips the glass out of her hand and pour out the ice cubes in the grass.

A man stands on the lawn and says something to a young couple, and he talks and talks, but looks consistently only the man in the eyes.

The student is finally arriving, a little shaky, with sparkles in his eyes. People shouting “bravo” and some applauding, all standing except the old, who are excused. He is wet on the entire body from the beer at the student platform, the mother laughing and making theatrical gestures in which she tries to wave away the bear smell from her face. The father tries to unforcedly pour wine for his son. But it is strange and awkward, because this he has fought against all these years.

There is joy and love here. And beneath it is something else, dysfunctional behaviors passed down through the decades.

Unga berusade studenter som trotsar någon av alla tusentals lagar och föreskrifter. Polisen avbryter.

Young drunk students who defies any of the thousands of laws and regulations. The police interrupts.

 

I would like to comment on the last paragraph. Certainly there is joy and love in our relationships. But I would rather say that it is the ancestral neuroses that are dominating in all relationships and in society at large. My spiritual teacher often say to go down the street in a city is like being in a mental hospital without doctors. The more time I spend with my teacher, the clearer I see my own and therefore other people’s dysfunctional behaviors. The neuroses are not beneath the joy and love like Schulman says, it’s the neuroses that cover our true nature. Sometimes it can shine through. All people who have consciously experienced pure joy and unconditional love knows it is a truth in itself. You feel at home. But the blue sky, which is always there, is obscured by dark clouds.

 

What is true in little world will also be true in general. Our society consists of people and if we are dysfunctional so will society be. We live programmed by our neurotic Egos, and it creates the illusion of separation. I am in here and the world is out there, that is how almost everyone perceives reality. The clearest and most serious symptom of this unnatural disease is the concept of “us and them”, which is based on prejudice and leads to isolation and sometimes violence. This symptom is often easier to see in the large scale. We see Muslims and Jews hate each other, football supporters slug, white and black are afraid of each other, Indians and Pakistanis who distrust each other, Russians who oppress homosexuals, Jacks-in-office and criminals who misunderstand one another, political parties call each other idiots and environmentalists and capitalists slandering each other – well the list goes on and on. In all these examples the phenomenon is the same, but those involved believe that their case is something special. In this particular case, we are entitled. Right and wrong is something that the ego loves, but is there any right and wrong in nature? The answer is no, nature is as it is and I believe in being careful of judging. Someone may think that I judge when writing this, but I only try to describe what I see as sincerely as possible.

 

There is a clear need for togetherness and it is satisfied by declaring a border between us and them. We who are right and those who are wrong. In fact, whenever you define a ‘we’ it pops up a them, those who are outside. You can also see it in your own life with the constant dialogue in your head saying I’m like that, and he or she is in a different way. This is where the whole we-and-them symptom begins. Even if it’s just about who is the best driver of the car it is the same mechanism that leads to people blowing themselves up to kill those who have a different view on life. It can be linked back to the ego’s illusion of a separate self, but that is another story which you can read about in Subjects – Philosophy.

 

I was born into a family with two successful politicians as parents. For many years, I went happily into various hectic political debates about tax rates, benefit levels and investments in infrastructure. Nowadays I find it hard to motivate myself to take sides because I feel that politics is so snowbound, the perspective is so limited. The parties argue about details of the tax system, and tactics to get the power are the main focus. Politicians are generally completely fixed in their respective Egoic illusions and finger pointing to the right and left, without having any vision of the future worth mentioning. I am not surprised that the public loses more and more interest in politics and that the intelligent visionaries nowadays choose another path. Politics increasingly resembles a duck pond and media hunting to find scandals make it almost impossible for ordinary people to dare or wish to venture into politics. But we can not really blame the politicians. The standard of the politics reflects the society we all create. Legal quibbling for money and power is the way, almost no one looks to whole picture. Xenophobic parties can attract greater interest because they are clearer about what politics today is all about. It is us-and-them. The clearer I see it, the harder it becomes to pep myself to bring me into the current political debate. The perspective must be bigger.

 

The we-and-them approach, which is totally dominant in the world, is behind all the conflicts and has historically led to horrific extermination, such as during the Holocaust. I think it’s important that people realize that it is the same phenomenon when they say that their neighbor’s stupid. We are not able to love our neighbor as ourselves, as Jesus says to us. Most of us do not even love ourselves. A sense of lack and anxiety is driving neurotic behavior in everyday life and in the whole social structure. Can we stop pointing finger? Can we realize that we are all responsible to some extent because we are born, live and die together in the same small globe. In that perspective, we are all equal. That may be something to remember when we think that we have nothing in common with our neighbor.

 

3. The system Society is not the solution

So we’re a bunch of dysfunctional beings who lost touch with our true nature and fallen out of balance with the nature that we come from. Instead, we live in communities that reflect our neurotic behaviors, and these communities have become increasingly complex. Legal dictionaries get longer and longer and no single person has a chance to overview how the system works. Instead, everyone tries to make it as good as possible for themselves, very few see the big picture of all people, animals and nature. Hmm, this doesn’t sound so good … And sorry, it aint over yet.

 

How many stamps can society put on you? You’re sorted out with nationality, right-leftist, believer or atheist, HBTQ or “normal”, you may have ADHD, high or low IQ and EQ, good or bad marks, attractive or bad CV, fit or unfit parent, you can be burnt out, have a dot in the register, refused entry to a country, to be anorexic, have allergies and so on. Naturally,  this manic classifying exists also in the large scale and we belong or do not belong to the EU, EMU, NATO, the UN, the WTO and the G20. We identify strongly with all these combinations of letters and think that they are vital to who we are and what our future will be. Few see that they like everything else is always changing, and that these letter combinations are not real in themself. Society is conceived as a system to work together, but today we humans are slaves to the system. The society provides a template for how you are going to be and if you do not follow this template, you will be stamped in any way. In some countries it is the system that appoints itself. In the US for instance, it is the president (a man of the system) appointing officials of the Supreme Court, which in turn make the laws that govern the system. That the president is pinioned have been quite clear with Obama. Many years of struggle to give poor people a decent health insurance has hardly yielded any results.

 

Our food is becoming increasingly artificial with antibiotics and new genes to increase productivity. Artificial people eat artificial food in an artificial society. It is really incredible that it is legal to experiment freely with the food that our children are to eat, while it is illegal to dance at bar in Sweden if the place does not have dancing permit. It is actually true! Dancing is a natural, a human and spontaneous joy that makes everyone feel good. I have been to several places where we have been told to stop dancing, or else the police. “Typically Sweden”, perhaps some say. But these artificial societies are across the globe, in Japan they have a law preventing dancing since 1948. They just eased that law a bit, as long as the night club is not too dark…

 

Sure, there may be well-meaning in-laws like dancing condition, that no one should be squashed. But eventually it becomes absurd, everything can not be controlled. I myself was in Tokyo and was stared at when my buddy and I were tossing around on a dance floor full of chocked Japanese’s. A healthy society should work to support the freedom of every person. I do not pretend that everything is society’s fault, it’s like blaming a computer program. The society is our creation, and simply reflects the collective psyche. It is we who are responsible for our artificial society.

 

It is logical that the system we call society is primarily focused on survival. The society is not interested in free people because they are independent and do not contribute to society. Therefore freedom is prohibited in laws. Society is not a natural design, it is an artificial creation, and its structure becomes automatically hostile to anything that threatens it. It is therefore no wonder drugs like alcohol and tobacco are legal. They contribute with tax money and makes us at the same time dependent and dulled. There was an interesting experiment in which test subjects were to drink five strong beer to then be asked to throw a plate into the wall. Almost everyone did it. When another experimental group smoked a few puffs of cannabis and received the same instructions almost no one obeyed the order. Instead, they asked: “Why?” It is not surprising that society prefers to legalize drugs that do not make us ask questions. Although the alcohol for many leads to addiction, abuse, drunk driving, and death by alcohol poisoning. OK take it easy now if you are against drugs, the meaning here is not that everyone should start smoking pot. Rather to begin questioning the system that most of us take for granted as the truth of how we should live our lives. Something must be wrong when people are labeled as abnormal and artificial system with its templates appoints itself to rule us.

 

Economical growth is most important and therefore we as humans are interesting as long as we pay taxes and take care of us. Those who are old and worn out we don’t really want to see, and therefore they are shoveled away to die in a home, preferably in the countryside. That is more efficient. Death has no place in modern society, because it has a tendency to create questions about the meaning of life and uncomfortable things like that. Have we  forgotten that we are mammals that are born, eat, drink, have sex, and then die? We are children of the universe, created from and a part of nature, and in that sense we are all natural, similar and equal to the animals we treat as slaves and industrial consumption. This we seem to have forgotten and the question is how it happened. I will try a little historical flashback.

 

In nature there is a balance, and this balance we were a part of until only a few thousand years ago. We distinguish ourselves from other animals since we have the capacity to a higher level of consciousness, and thanks to this we have been able to get to the top of the food chain. However, we are also animals and have 99% identical genes with a chimpanzee. Our brains and bodies carry the heritage and the animal instincts, but these are repressed. They simply do not fit in society. Philosopher and writer Nietzsche thought that man carries within himself a desire for power, and that we have an inherently violent nature who want to steal, rape and murder. If you look at human history there is a lot of this and the climax was reached during the last century with two world wars. These wars were forced mankind to partially wake up and in the subsequent civilizations, we are terrified of violence and conflicts. We have created societies that do not want to know of racism, violence and other brute-like behaviors. The only problem is that you can not legislate away emotions. They ca be suppressed – at least to a certain degree. Prisons have been built to imprison those who do not manage to suppress feelings. Nietzsche, Freud and others realized over a hundred years ago that this oppressive of our darker sides will lead to neurotic people who create a neurotic society. Children are open and have not learned to censor their feelings. Fundamentally, they are happy, but they are forced to live by society’s template. They feel everything that we do not want to feel and the result is that they cry and get furious by turns. But these natural purges also means that they are capable of happiness and carefree states that most adults have lost the ability to experience. Adults are so deep in society’s programming, there is so much repressed feelings that the light behind the blockages rarely shines through. But there is a light in there, in all people. More on that later.

 

We do not want to relive World Wars and therefore we are striving for harmony at all costs. It comes in our relationships and in society as a whole. It is imposed from above, the harmony is not genuine, and therefore the price is high. We have lost touch with ourselves and trust more in a system than in our own inner compass. I mean, of course, not that we should go over into violent anarchy. Democracy is a good idea and our society is not evil in itself. But no man can be happy to adapt to a template, we need to be free to be happy. That we are free today is a myth.

 

Media mirrors, just like society, our collective psyche. More single copies are sold about disasters, injustice and malice than news that unite people. We are daily fed with the “news” that the world is about to go under and even this writing may seem to point in that direction. Sure there are many who are suffering in the world and that we must not take lightly, but  the world is not nowhere near as bad as the media wants to portray it. The brilliant comedian Bill Hicks made a number of this when made fun of the news that consider themselves to be objective. He said: “When I turn on the TV, I see murder, embezzlement, rape, earthquake, AIDS and economic crises. But when I look out my window, all I hear; chirp-chirp-chirping, birds singing. Where in hell is all this shit going on? “Media distorts the reality and gives many people a sense of hopelessness. Today’s social structure survives because we have nothing better to believe in. Crises like the financial one is mainly due to confidence being undermined and the media carries a major role in how they create mass hysteria. Media is like society leaderless but fulfills a function for society, it frighten us into obedience and the hopelessness makes us passive. What if media instead had the attitude to constantly suggest possible solutions to the problems they report on. Imagine what huge difference that would make, people would get hope, creative ideas and energy. I want to highlight sport as an exception. 45 minutes of woes reported by serious newscasters, is normally followed by 15 minutes of lighter reporting of hope and faith in the world of sports. A much needed break, I understand that many like sports.

 

The school is as I see it a key player. Future generations are trained to take over and create future societies. Children are, as everyone knows natural. They cry when they are sad, have not learned to smile falsely and tells the truth straight out. Most of us appreciate this and we enjoy seeing open children play happily and carefree. What is the school’s role in our modern society? Encourages children’s natural behavior? Not directly. Children are different and know early what they are motivated by, but what children themselves are interested in is completely irrelevant when they start school. In as early years as possible we will push as much theory as possible into their heads. The most important thing in the debate in Sweden seems to be the age at which children should start receiving grades and whether it should be numerical or letter grades. The kids are to become producing, intellectual robots that do not violate the law. To manage emotions and relationships is last in order of priority. Stop feeling and start thinking. Everyone knows there is bullying in school and of course, the children that feel the worst are bullying. In this way, neuroses are spread from highly unsuitable parents to their children and then on to other children. Are you the parent of a child who bullies you are resonsible. And the school stands helpless.

 

How crooked the school’s priorities are became apparent to me when I was out in the suburbs of Stockholm to help immigrant youths with their homework. The people I met were almost exclusively from Somalia between the ages of 13-15 and they were clearly ambitious, because at least they cared about their homework. Here was children who fled their country and what we in Sweden first and foremost want to tap into their skulls is theory. Of course, it is important to be able to read, write and do simple math exercises. But beyond that, young people must be able to function as human beings. The National Agency for Education obviously thinks it is more important with subjects such as geography, wood and needlework, physics, biology and German grammar. There are national tests in chemistry on Thursday declared the youngster for me… Is it more important that the 14-year-olds read of carbon-hydrogen bonds than getting to know their own bodies, their emotions, and can talk to each other about what makes them angry, afraid and sad? Polls and surveys tell us about children’s decreased motivation, their obesity and depression. Without any real idea of ​​why or what we can do about it. The school is like all other institutions in the service of society, not really interested in how we feel. It is a programmed system and the programming is based on survival, growth and obedience.

 

Now it’s finally time to end the dismal part with a summary. We as humans have thus lost touch with nature in at least two ways. Firstly, we live in isolation from nature and animals who are murdered and plundered, but this thank God, we do not have to do ouselves. Specialists, machines and factories take care of the dirty business. We have also lost touch with our natural behavior and because we have suppressed our feelings, we become neurotic. Together we have created a system we call society in which we hope that laws and regulations in some magical way can cause us to live in harmony, without having to acknowledge all lurking beneath the surface. Today’s politicians is a product of society. They are controlled by the media and, like the population in general completely stuck in a we-and-them model without viable visions for the future. We believe that the system is critical to our success, rather than how each person feels. Therefore, society is becoming more complex, more and more laws to come, human behavior is illegal and in many places the system is now in control. Society = truth, and we humans are labeled as defect with all sorts of combinations of letters. We live in a knowledge society policymakers claim proudly. The problem with knowledge is that it can be used to build both wind power stations and nuclear bombs. What happened to the wisdom celebrated in the past? The word “wise” is hardly used anymore. Our children are indoctrinated into the system, they should be “normal”, not natural.

 

There is a battle under the surface between two forces. One force is striving towards the society of control with supervision, called “Big Brother”. The state wants to micromanage your behavior to ensure that you do not compromise the system. You do not even have power over your own body and there is a “war on drugs”, even though it never has worked. Furthermore, you are bugged, opinions are recorded and your shopping habits on the Internet mapped in detail. Laws are stacked on laws to narrow down our behaviors further.

 

The second force is driven by the natural human desire for freedom. There are those of us who feel that we should live our lives as we wish, as long as we do not harm other people. Countries like the Netherlands, Portugal and certain states in the US goes tentatively in this direction. There are experiments that initially can go back and forward and they are countered by various forces, but the basic idea is that humans get their freedom back. She must take responsibility for herself and experience shows that in time we grow with responsibility. It would be healthy with the removal of at least one law for every new law enacted. This simple policy could create a whole new view on the legal system and its heavy (and expensive) bureaucracy. I pray that it will be the path to freedom and not increased control who wins in the end. A free and open Internet is probably the single most important tool for freedom and integration on this earth. Where people can communicate directly with each other without Big Brother telling us what to think.

 

This part has been about how we have become slaves to a system. But that does not mean we can blame the system. After all, people created the society and it is also people pushing to increase control and thereby reduce freedom. We all have a responsibility.

 

4. Cure the disease at the root

So in the Western world we are completely fixated on the disease symptoms and look for medications, preferably chemical ones with patent and taxes, to alleviate the symptoms. In the East, traditionally one have been more focused on looking for the root of the disease and try to cure it. For example, I received two herniated discs in the neck when I worked in a stressful environment as a management consultant. The typical surgeon wanted to rigid operate on my neck, but fortunately I came to a an alternative doctor who managed to dissuade me. With the help of a psychologist and later meditation I learned to stress down and my symptoms disappeared completely. It is important to identify the behavior that leads to our disorder and when we change our behavior, we can become healthy and furthermore independent of medications, doctors and others who earn money in our misfortune. It makes us freer and stronger, but this is nothing we learn in school.

 

The disease in the Homo Sapiens specie has a name and it spells E-g-o. For some this is hard to accept and understand. Many people do not agree that people in general suffer. “I’m fine, I’m doing great, I’m happy,” some would say. I am not suggesting that everyone is unhappy all the time, but there are certainly not many people who wake up with a natural smile in the morning. However most of us did when we were children. Subsequently, layer upon layer of parental and societal programming was put on top of our happy child-me. These layers are manifested in our mind as maniacal thinking and also in our bodies as tension and contractions. The entire population goes around and are stiff in body and rehearsing their own thoughts to themselves. The only difference between us and “the madman in the Park” is that the madmen say what they think aloud. Just like an alcoholic, there is a resistance in each of us to realize that we are partially insane. Illness awareness is the first, most difficult and most important step. Ask yourself if you sometimes can be jealous, feel stress, sleep poorly, be worried about the future, be showered by involuntary thoughts or push back the natural impulse of crying or anger. If answer is yes to any of these questions, it means that you are suffering. But some answer no because they do not even feel the emotions in the body or are not aware of all the thoughts spinning around in their head without clear direction. They may not be aware that they feel bad, but their negative energy is felt from far away and they get no close friends. Their children will take the hit, and the relations are strained as soon as the kids are big enough to dare to question the mother and father. Angry, sad and frustrated teenage kids are considered normal, but why should that be normal?

 

We must first realize how bad we feel, but the good news is that you can do something about it. Not by passing a law to not shout at each other on the street and not by cramming more mathematics. The medicine is to work with yourself. Myself I have been able to relive the carefree bliss I felt as a child, by first dealing with my crap. At different spiritual retreats I have also seen hundreds of others break through the shackles of Ego, to get a glimpse of their true nature. How we feel on the inside will affect all our actions and also determine the quality of the society we are building together. The ego is now passed from generation to generation and the collective ego has built our society. But the ego can be weakened by spiritual practice and for that reason I can not see anything more important to humanity than working with our psyches, day by day. More and more people going to psychologists may seem negative, but for me it is a proof that we begin to realize how bad we feel. Mindfulness, yoga and health trips explodes in the West – that I also take as a sign that people want to feel better.

 

The point of this blog is to inspire the reader to get to know yourself, work on yourself and be more genuine. I’m in the same boat as everyone else and trying just as you to do what I think is right. My practice has given me a whole new life. I am more confident, happier and feel more meaning in my life. The enjoyment is deeper and the awareness greater. Sure, some fears and desires remain, but they can not take over me in the same way as before. My hope is therefore that I can help create a brighter future, something I was not interested in a few years ago. Then I was an unconscious, money-chasing part of a neurotic society – one of millions of people trapped in the rat race.

 

5. Create a new foundation for the future

I think it is important that everyone realizes that we are the people who make up society. If we do not feel good, society can not not do it for us. Whatever the new laws, tax levels, environmental premium, infrastructure projects, and talk of more teachers, police officers and nurses. Us feeling good requires completely different methods than those politicians propose and change can not be forced from above. We need a vision for the future and it cannot be like the society we have today. As I see it, it is the task of society to offer a base and a security for the people so that everyone can live the way they wish. Our freedom is crucial and society should not force people to anything and definitely not decide what each one does with her own body. The only “rule” really needed is that you can do whatever you want as long as you do not harm anyone else. All shall otherwise be free to do as they wish with their own lives. Information and support instead of a ban should be the spirit of everything. However, I realize that many people today are so psychologically damaged or programmed by society that this change can not be done overnight. Many are even willing to fight for society to continue controlling, fight to make sure you and me should not be allowed to be free. But the increasing freedom is already happening in some places in the world, while elsewhere, as in Russia, goes in the opposite direction.

 

To create a new earth and prosperous future for man kind, we need to realize that we are all neurotic and live by our egos. Because we see each other’s dysfunctional behaviors more clearly than our own, we can all help each other to become healthier, more honest and more authentic. The decisive factor is whether we can summon the will to become better people, rather than to defend ourselves. This movement is somewhat already available in the form of psychologists, healers, yoga teachers and others – but unfortunately, not many of those have an efficient model. None of us has been given enough attention and love during our upbringing, but if we actively work with ourselves, our unborn children could get a better start. Children are natural and express their feelings straight out, instead of repressing them. It is of utmost importance to children, without parents and society interfering, to be allowed to play sexually with themselves and each other, to be so furious or sad they want and choose for themselves what they should learn. Of course it is ok with healthy boundaries, that children need to have a life jacket on the dock, that they must not pull a dog by the tail and they do not get to watch TV every night. The important insight here is that a child’s emotion is never wrong and must not be muted with either reprimands or ice cream. That way they can avoid neurosis created by the constricted natural behaviors and a child who has received enough real love will naturally behave lovingly.

 

Earth is overpopulated because there is a greed around the “getting” children. It belongs to the template that everyone should have children and that is according to my teacher perhaps the most unconscious programming of all. This is not a popular opinion, many feel threatened and become directly outraged when they hear that someone is not interested in having children. Most parents are not adequate for the task, they can not give their children the love, security, attention and freedom that children need in order to be happy as adults. However, there are those people who always loved children. Ever since they were teenagers they have signed up to be babysitters and they can play with children for hours without getting tired. If we gave up the desire that everybody must pass their genes one, we could go together as uncles, aunts, godfather and godmother and support parents who are peaceful and loving can raise the next generation. In this way we can also give our earth, nature and animals some breathing room – overcrowding can be alleviated. Today we have the technical resources to take care of an aging population, especially if there did not constantly become more of us consuming of what the earth can produce.

 

Future society (with less damaged people) will not control how we raise our children. There are of course theoretical subjects still available, but the natural children can choose what they are interested in. The information is there, such as you get holes in your teeth if you do not brush them and that English is good so you can talk to others. But there is no compulsion. Children are curious by nature and without coercion, they often learn  more, without suppressing creativity. I have met a 10-year old girl that got this free upbringing and she was the happiest kid I’ve ever met, and furthermore trilingual. However, at 6 years age she had to leave Sweden to not be forced into our school model. Luckily, since this girl had the naive world view that everybody is friendly – of course it would not have passed many days without her being mobbed in a normal school by jealous children who had a tougher upbringing. Let nature guide the children instead of a neurotic society that forces children into theoretical thinking and out of their body.

 

I realize this may sound like romantic dreams, but there is living proof that it works. Of course it is not done overnight, but what if the school could make these small adjustments in its system:

 

Children can individually opt-out one hour theory per day, there will still be over 50% theory in school so there is no shortage. Instead it will be an hour a day when the kids get to know themselves and each other. They get acquainted with their body, their emotions and learn to express how they feel for each other. It could be yoga, meditation, discussions, sex education worthy of the name, to pray together, to let boys and girls change clothes and conflict management.

 

Children are very adaptable and I am convinced that this change would create a completely new school. Especially kids who do not get this from home can be save from slipping into addiction, crime and alienation. What is most important, that children feel good or us pushing more theory in their heads? If you look at today’s schools, the answer is unequivocally theory, with the result that the children feel as they do.

 

Society must therefore change from creating theory-driven robots cast in the same mold, without contact with our true nature, to instead support man’s natural behavior and need for freedom. Some philosophers, including Alexander Bard, say that humans need a utopia to believe in. It is missing completely today. People have always painted the picture of paradise and it has given something to strive for. If we do not have anything beautiful to strive for, the void is filled by something else. Today the disaster scenarios of the future has taken the place. You only need to turn on the news on television or open a newspaper to realize that this is the case. Media are completely focused on reporting that everything is on the road to hell. Would it not be more rewarding and motivating to hear reports on progress towards a common goal of a brighter future? Instead of being cynical and just think about our own wallet, we could find a deeper meaning in our lives in the strive for utopia. Sure we could cure world poverty, we already have resources in abundance. But generosity comes only from people who feel good, from free people. If we all felt good, that is if the ego was not ruling our world, poverty would be a thing of the past.

 

In the nature religions people saw themselves as a part of nature, which enabled us to live in balance with it and respect our environment. We do not need to believe in a man we call God in heaven to get back to our true nature and balance with mother earth. But we must believe in something in order to have a quest and why not believe in balance with nature? This universe of magical creation we are made out of. Let’s be creative and create a vision for the future. Free from selfish pattern that “I want” and full of loving people who want to give. The road is long and arduous, but we have to choose it or the disasters we believe in today. Which direction do you choose?

 

A video for you who also think something is wrong in modern society:

POSTS UNDER THE SUBJECT SOCIETY

No one goes from tantric sex to regular sex

 

Tantric sex is amazing, everyone I know who do it look back on their time when they had regular sex and says that it almost feels like another life. However, it is important to get a proper introduction, a week on a good course could change your sex life forever. You can read more about the theoretical background of tantric sex and tantric orgasms in the Dictionary. Below is some practice and other goodies.

Read More

 

  1. Introduction
  2. A male´s experience of tantric sex
  3. A female beginner reports
  4. Comment
  5. The Peak orgasm is sexually dysfunctional and gives you a hangover
  6. Scientific articles and presentations

 

1 Introduction

Babyface comment: This text was written in August 2015. I can already say that I wish it was more humbly written, but the message is still interesting. Sorry for being too lazy to soften the text…

 

I’m still a relatively new practitioner of tantric sex, I joined my first real retreat in April 2014. There was no obvious problem in my sex life before and I had both longer relationships and intense single life with many girls. But sex today is something completely different for me. The meetings are deeper, I am more relaxed and the enjoyment is much greater. I can honestly say that the tantric sex I experience today is better each time, than the best sex I ever had before that course. Strong statement but true and my Tantric friends seem to have exactly the same image. “If people only knew,” a girl said to me. “Then probably no one would go out in the town in end, this is simply too good.” 🙂 Everyone I know who practice tantric sex is welcoming to beginners. You can practice by yourself, with your intimate partner or with multiple partners. Heterosexual, bisexual, transgender or queer – everything works. As with regular sex. You know that when you have found a nice beach, a good restaurant or a great movie, you want to share this. It’s the same here, the more people who have good sex, the better for us all. There is an evolution on earth and as I see it, tantric sex is the next step in our sexual development. Not more hokus-pouks than that.

 

It can be quite amusing to hear what image people have of tantric sex. Some ask; “Is it like sitting opposite each other and breathe without touching each other and then you think you have an orgasm and then you get it too?”

 

Hm, that’s not really the way it goes. If you have  read in the dictionary you know the theory behind, mainly that you should avoid the classic peak orgasm and instead be able to get longer, deeper and more satisfying tantric orgasms. (It is called peak orgasm because there is a build-up towards a short peak, followed by a long valley with less sexual drive). In the next two chapters the experience of tantric sex is described first from a man’s perspective, then from a woman. The man is relatively experienced without being an expert, while the woman has just discovered tantra.

 

2 A male’s experience of tantric sex

Finally home from work, nice to leave earlier to get home to her. I can really feel that tingling in my dick when I drive the car up the driveway. I feel like a child on Christmas Eve, while there is a relaxed feeling in my body. That’s funny, that horniness is a relaxation – but it’s true. When I come through the door I see her sitting there on the couch reading a newspaper. “Hi Honey,” I say with a smile. She looks up and in just a few seconds her expression in the eyes changes from astonishment, to delight, to horniness. I love to see that challenge in her eyes, that dark feminine energy saying “ok come and get me if you can”. I walk up to the couch, leaning over her for a slow kiss. Then I stretch  up again and look into her eyes, she’s really nice and soft. It’s almost as if I feel how she enjoys the feeling of her body. I lean forward again and we were kissing each other slowly. It’s like lips moving by themselves, she is wonderful to make out with and it’s basically impossible to think at the same time. It is beautiful and I feel love.

 

I’m taking command from my masculine

I tell her to get up in the bedroom, lit some candles and put on a set of sexy music that I know she likes. When I come in through the bedroom door, she is already on the bed in her underwear. Really sexy black lingerie. She slowly unzips my pants and takes out the cock which is already becoming hard. She looks at me with those beastly eyes as she slowly begins to suck it. She closes her eyes and appears to go into trance, almost like she was asleep, although she moves. Whatever he does it is amazing, everything feels so good and the buzzy horniness starts to spread in my body. She uses her hands to touch my cock, balls and anal. I can feel all the stress from the day dropping off when she’s teasingly pressing her fingers against my anus.

 

I notice how I also feel that my heart opens to her and I grab her hair and slowly begin to make love to her mouth. It’s like there is a signal from the heart to the cock and back again. I’m beginning to feel like a horny teenager. This horny teen won’t wait any longer and I push her backwards into the bed where she ends up on her back. I lick my fingers and put them into her vagina. It is already wet, but I still want to go down on her so I lick and kiss a little around the opening. She moans and feels really ready. My cock seems to quite ready too, so I get up on top of her with the weight on one arm. With the other arm I slide my cock in her and it runs like a shiver through my spine. We lie still feeling, waiting for the connection between my cock and her cervix. There it is, both jerk a little and look each other in the eyes. I can feel how the energy starts flowing between us down there. If my cock could speak, it would say something like, “Yeah-ye-ye-ye, I love it here. I’m so horny on her. ”

 

She closes her eyes and begins to sound a bit and I’m trying to let go of the control of my body, while still being fully present with her. What would my body want do and how would my cock want to fuck to make it as pleasurable as possible? I know I can not intellectually understand it, so I just let go. My hips begin to move and it feels really great in my dick. She begins to moan more and her body starts moving rhythmically as her Kundalini in the spine is activated. She is so sexy and beautiful and I compliment her for it, the words just coming out of my mouth. Now I begin to lose control of everything but the feeling in my body, her wonderful revelation that just gets sexier and sexier by the minute and the sound of the music that vibrates in our bodies. The world outside is no longer and the sense of time disappears almost completely. We remain in this position for quite some time and I open myself more to her. As the sexual energy begin to circulate in me, I take the next step and feel more in the body. It is like the body is slowly unwinding by the soft, abundant energy and the feeling gets stronger and stronger. But that’s right! I must not disappear into my own world now, I have to be present with her too. She looks up at me and I meet her gaze with as open heart as I can in that moment and it is a lovely meeting. We are becoming more horny and I can feel how my strength is growing simultaneously with that nice, conscious anger. Angry, but relaxed in a way. Now she will get it! I start fucking a little harder against her cervix and my body and dick moves with unexpected, but delicate movements. It feels so good to hit all those pleasurable spots on my cock and I hear that her pleasure is in sync with mine. When it becomes more horny for me, it is also more horny for her.

 

I compliment her for being so sexy when she’s horny, she really is a little predator and she likes to hear it. But I’m the one in charge. She seems to be approaching an orgasm in her cervix and energy increases rapidly. I have been on maybe 80% (of a classic peak orgasm = game over), but now I jump quickly to 95%. Aaahh, so nice !! But chill down, I have to reduce the pace a bit and it just seems to make her even hornier. She can not quite get what she wants, and I remember what I learned to move 20% slower than the feminine wants. It would be so nice to really fuck her hard right into an orgasm now, but I have to be careful. Our bodies move almost completely in sync and I balance on 95%. It’s very nice, but I do not see how I can increase the intensity. Then I remember the butt and the same second I can relax there, the energy start flowing more freely from my cock, back through my butt, up to that awesome point at the beginning of the spine and then up through the kundalini channel and out through the crown chakra . What a relief, suddenly it feels easy to control when the energy is spread around the body. I can take the next step now that my body is more open.

 

I’m horny in my dick, relaxed in the butt and I open my heart to this sexy goddess. My cock fucking against the absolute sweetest spot in her, and when I say that I love her she goes into orgasm. “You are so sexy sweetheart, give me all that energy, give it to my cock”. It’s hell of a pressure coming and I open myself to let it pass through me. From her cervix through my cock, and back in my body. I love her actively and put my hands on her chest – almost like I shot love into her. My hands seem to get their own life and almost begin to play on her as an instrument for a few moments. She continues to come on my cock and her hips moving back and forth in a trance.

 

Suddenly, I seem to zoom out one step further. Almost like waking up from a dream to another where everything is clearer, with a stronger presence. Instead of trying to remember a thousand things to do, soI become more of an observer who sees everything happen. Everything – the sounds, sight and feeling in my body is perceived as a single unit and it suddenly becomes very easy to not pass 100%. I see “my” body and the I see her body in orgasm. It’s like I feel both of our bodies as a single unit, and I can hear from her sounds that something  happened in that exact moment that everything became clearer to me. It is incredible how in sync we are when I feel her! I guess it continues for a minute in this way, and I open and close my eyes alternately. A thought pops up: I would like her to be able to get a really long orgasm, but the minute the idea popped up, I rush up to 99% and am millimeters from a “miss” (peak orgasm = game over). I dare not continue any longer and quickly pull it out when I feel that I was heading for the “Point of No Return”. She continues to come on her cervix for at least 20 seconds even though I’m not in her, it’s insanely hot. Then I gently press my dick back into her and so we lie still with eyes closed in total tranquility. The only thing in the emptiness of my consciousness is that beautiful intensely vibrant energy, we can call it love. It is so peaceful and beautiful at the same time.

 

She enters her masculine and dominates me

Suddenly she looks at me with a determined look and turn me over on my back. She sits across me and grabs my cock. It was going softer but now it quickly becomes hard again. She slowly puts it back into her while she puts lubricant on her fingers and presses them into my butt. She presses straight on my G-spot, it’s so crazy good and the connection between my dick and ass gets stronger. I grab her hips, but she takes away my hands and put them against her breasts. I feel how she continues to slowly fuck my cock against the horniest spot in her, her cervix. When she starts approaching orgasm, she is still present enough to be able to continue pressing against my G-spot, and then I feel that I go into orgasm. My body gets a life of its own, I just let go and feel the energy flow from that beautiful point in my ass and up through my back. I let go on more and more levels in the body and my cock is rock hard, I am maybe on 95% of a miss so I feel safe. The orgasm is spreading with a jittery feeling in the legs, arms, hands and feet. My whole body is orgasmic and I try to relax as much as possible, well aware that the smallest contraction or thought can make me miss. My kundalini goes nuts, my arms and legs moving rhythmically, and I groan – because it is so nice! I feel love and lust at the same time, I’m in love with the horniness and horny on love. My body moves so that I almost feel like an ailen, as if some unknown force has taken over the body – but it feels so right. I do not know how long it lasts, I would guess 3-4 minutes, and it seems like she comes too. When she finally stops, I’m in heaven. My body feels as new and she settles over me and kisses my mouth. “Thank you, Baby !!” I burst out. “Thank you,” she says and then we stay there in quiet blissful meditation for a while.

 

Until the doorbell rings. O my God, we do have guests tonight! How long have we played? It just felt like half an hour and I got home at 5 o’clock. The alarm clock on the night table shows 7:20. Ok let’s run down in a bathrobe. Luckily there are some tantric friends coming, they will understand.

 

3. A female beginner reports

 

A heavenly orgasm

Oh my fucking God! I float in a turquoise spiral tunnel decorated with white, glittering sparkles. My body travels in a direction toward one end of the tunnel. And it is as if the journey to the strong light is a signal for something. A signal telling you that you shall not resist, you let yourself be taken to where the light wants to take you. My body’s all biological building blocks are cheering and it feels like I’m floating on soft cotton. The experience is timeless and if I would be a New Year’s night, my body is creating all the fireworks of heaven.

 

How do I describe an out of body experience with words?

It is difficult to describe such a strong experience in words. The head with its thoughts and analyzes is not there. The body is in control and it is in there I feel the orgasm, but the experience is also at the same time in another dimension. Perhaps that is why it is almost impossible to verbally describe such extremely strong, emotional experiences. The Chinese language can not talk to the Japanese language. Emotional orgasmic cells have trouble talking with intellectual cells. To describe a recipe, an event in town or political values ​​is straightforward, since the statements for the most part are based on intellectual conclusions. The experiences I have been part of in recent time has differed strongly from past experiences in life, and the turquoise tunnel creation stems of course from sexual activity in bed.

 

Tantric sex – a deeper devotion guided by unknown forces

Being horny is something most people are now and then. To kill horniness with a classic peak orgasm most people are also accustomed to. By contrast, to be simultaneously super-duper-horny and building orgasms on each other during sometimes several hours long intercourse, that’s a whole new emotional combination in my sex life. When I’m lying naked in bed next to the man’s body with his warm hands embracing me, I feel a tremendous strong desire. A desire which manifests itself as a warm, wet aura between my legs. When the cock feel attraction to my screaming hi-came-and-take-me-pussy and penetrates me,  the world stops for a second. Once inside, his cock moving to spots feeling like fairytale. How can it be so great to just rest on a spot without friction and movement? Pulsar from my lower region comes alive and starts to flow from the pussy up to the stomach and back. It’s like I have undiscovered canals along the back, abdomen, buttocks and in the pussy. In the channels pulsar are flowing back and forth, and this I have learned is called for activation of “kundalini”. Further the cock is continuing, as I experience it, on its own to discover what is inside of me. As an exploration without programming. Points within me stimulated so free and clean. “Just theeeeerree is it so fucking Good”, I hear a voice from my body speaking and the orgasm is running. A local orgasm from the clitoris which previously lasted maybe 10 seconds, has now been exchanged for experience without equal lasting for minutes. The channels in the body are open. Electrical pulsars flowing throughout my body and somehow I see and hear myself in the third person. The feeling and experience have made it out of the body to visit the turquoise tunnel just above the loving couple.

 

Incredible that I have so many different sexual energies in me

The build up to these heavenly miracles may vary unrestrained. By experimenting with different energies it is possible to make your sex life to a diamond with thousands of glittering surfaces, unlike a traditional gem with a shiny, smooth pearl surface. The diamond and the pearl can represent the potential that exists in terms of sex. A traditional sex can be good, but what I now clearly see, is that the strong charging of the energy resulting from the usual 10-second orgasm is monotonous. Like the gem’s unilateral, shimmering surface. When the energy is circulating and controlling our bodies instead of being ejected, it becomes so much more variety. It actually becomes completely unpredictable.

 

Role-playing can also reinforce the variety and reconstruction of energy. Earlier in intimate relationships, I have been able to sniff a feeling of sexual dissatisfaction and today I understand why. A person is not just this or that. To clarify my reflection I can use an example concerning myself. In discussions regarding gender equality, I argue usually from a politically correct feminist perspective. Often at dinner discussions I like to emphasize the importance of women not to be subordinate to the man, with the goal of breaking the occasional surviving patriarchate we live in. A few hours later, it is I who wants to be fucked like the dirtiest little slut in the world. How paradoxical is not that? My point is therefore that, in total freedom there are so many sexual characters to live out. In my past, I brought with me my morals and my opinions into bed. But now I have begun to see that there are so many different feminine energies to enjoy and also give from. Not only the innocent school girl, bimbo and her mother, but also the porn star, the slut and the witch. The different pieces are available and can be picked up in all of us, as long as we can relax around our subjective self-image for a while. Certainly it is important to have a strong and secure masculine presence to dare to live out and he could also come in different roles and energies. The variety between the hot football player, the disposal doctor and porn sexguru is in a redemptive way really exciting.

 

4. Comment

In the first story you follow a man who dominates his woman from his masculine. She is first in her feminine, but then changes the game and leads him into his feminine. He tells about the experience of what is happening in his body and how thoughts come and go, but while letting go they go deeper together. He has some experience of tantric sex, but he is no expert or teacher.

The second story comes from a woman who has a few months’ experience of tantric sex. That means she has not yet seen the more profound encounters and experiences that are possible, but she has had a foretaste. She still has fresh in mind how the usual sex works and can therefore compare in an interesting way. She describes how the role play and play with different energies makes your sex life more exciting and of course this is not unique to Tantra. However, it seems that it is possible to go deeper into these dimensions when practicing tantric sex, especially in the meeting between the feminine and masculine.

 

From the outside, there are many parts that look like regular sex. Tantric sex is not wishy-washy and crystals, ceremonies, limestone strange faces and incense are not needed. But obviously more is happening on inside compared to regular sex. Traditionally, sex is all about friction and can to some extent be a bit “mechanical”. It’s nice when it’s tight, different techniques are used like trying to vibrate with fingers as fast as possible over the clitoris and then it’s the changing of positions to add variety. In the experience of the husband above, it may seem like there are many techniques, but it is more to describe what happens. In reality tantric sex is about letting go of control so that the bodies themselves, or Nature if you prefer, take over. Then things happen by themselves, you’re not there and doing anything –  you are not in the way.

 

Friction is not something to strive for because it can make you miss and besides there is so much feeling and energy that friction is not required. Moreover, it is different each time. No single intercourse is alike and therefore you never get tired. It is not the same need to change position every ten minutes and there is no need of having sex in different places to increase the tension. This does not mean that there is anything wrong with multiple positions and sex in the elevator, but if it happens it is not because it’s boring to have sex with your partner in bed. Since you do not get tired of tantric sex, you do not get tired to do it with your partner – even if you have been together for many years.

 

The sacrifice to avoid the peak orgasm comes with a lot of immediate benefits. The most obvious is that no one loses energy and sex drive. You stop because it feels right, not because you lost interest. This makes it more natural to linger and kissing or just hold each other after intercourse. All men and women probably know that the partner immediately feels less attractive after a normal ejaculation. When it is avoided sex becomes more of a balancing act, keeping on the right side and this deepens the contact between the two because the must cooperate. Over time, with increased control you can begin to navigate in the orgasmic states and as “orgasm-surf” on 98-99%. The sense of touch increases in the sex but also in the rest of the body, and it becomes ever more energy. After tantric sex, you are at least as relaxed as after regular sex, but instead of being drained of energy, you have full zest for life. Relaxed and energetic at the same time, although it might sound strange.

 

In deep sexual experiences as the ones above, you may get access to what we could call spiritual states. In these states a lot of interesting things can happen. It’s like being high on drugs, but totally clean and without any hangover or side effects. Intellect and thoughts are not there, it’s more of a timeless presence. The fact that intellect is not there makes it feel brand new every time and you often “wake up” afterwards and ask youself: “My God, what happened ?!” It seems that Nature does reward this kind of sex.

 

Clearly, not all tantric intercourses are amazing every time. We are all humans and thus all who practice tantric sex will periodically feel tired, tense or have a miss. But I would also like to point out that the descriptions above are not exaggerated in any way, I myself have had many similar experiences.

 

Feet on the ground

If I am honest with myself after amazing sex I know I can not take the credit for what happened. When my body is doing the right thing it sure is not because “I” am “good”. It is all about “getting out of the way”, so that the bodies will take over. Humility is important, and besides, I have teachers who are at least one level above me. They can give women who never had tantric sex womb orgasms that lasts for 20-25 minutes and during that time she is completely unable to think. It is said to be impossible to describe that state in words, “heavenly beautiful and incredibly pleasurable” is about as close as you can get. When I see these real professionals in action, it strikes me that it is rather reminiscent of art than usual six.

 

5. The Peak orgasm is sexually dysfunctional and gives you a hangover

 

“Constantly this peak orgasm”

Some readers may think that there is much talk about the usual “peak orgasm” and how damaging it is. I must ask you for patience and an open mind, some of this simply takes time to absorb and you only buy into what you want. I remember the first time I came in contact with tantric sex. It was at a festival when a guy got a full-body-orgasm with clothes on, on the dance floor. At first I thought he was faking, but then I started to get curious and explored more. When I asked around I was told that he and the girl he was with was doing tantric sex. “How do I learn that?” I asked another guy. “Firstly, do not come, I mean ejaculate, in one month,” he replied. “A whole month!” I exclaimed. “No way!” It was like I could never imagine being without my beloved 6-second orgasm so long.

 

Today, my vision has changed and I see that there is a clear addiction for the peak orgasm. According to my teacher, it is perhaps the strongest addiction in the world. There is a kind of greed associated with this orgasm, although it may sound harsh. But if you think about it, is it only about “I want”, nothing about “I want to give.” The body is also tensing and closes with the contractions and pumping, instead of opening itself as with the Tantric orgasms. Another important aspect is that a person who is addicted to the peak orgasm normally becomes “needy” around sex. Hornyness can be frustrating and there is a need to get it out of the system. A tantric practitioner has a much more relaxed attitude to sex because it is not about a race to the target, instead every moment is meaningful in itself. Central to tantric sex is to be present and to feel arousal in the body, instead of fantasizing about other things and surf porn on the net. Since I changed my sex life this way, I’m so much more relaxed about sex. I have also begun to live out my sexual fantasies and this has led to me hardly ever thinking about sex anymore. But when a potential sexual situation arises, I am more ready than in the past, the pleasure is greater and I can give a lot more to the on I have sex with. My sexuality has changed from dysfunctional to functional, it feels more natural.

 

That the peak orgasm would be natural is not completely secure. There are other ways to fertilize a woman, for example, the seed flows out calmly without spastic pumping, through stimulation of the prostate. Moreover, there is as far as I know, no animals across the world that continuously ejects their seed. If it occurs at all in that way it is perhaps once a year, when it is time for conception. We humans have totally lost touch with this and continues to greedily chasing sex and brief spasm-orgasms, even if the plan is not to make any offspring. How many greedy animals can be found in nature? Perhaps there is a connection.

 

Nature rewards those who can avoid coming

The debate about whether the peak orgasm is natural or not can continue and there are probably those with objections. What is important however is the fact, I dare to call it a fact, that your sex life will be much better if this orgasm is avoided. Think about it. There is not exactly a hidden reason why we who enjoy tantric sex talk about it. It is not that we have patents on other orgasms and lose money if people get peak orgasms. The peak feels good as hell and of course I would continue with it if I did not realize it comes with a price. We just want to tell you about other great opportunities because shared joy is double joy. The only reason everybody do not have tantric sex, as I see it, is because people are highly addicted to the peak orgasm. Why would you otherwise defend it? You may have heard about the tests performed with small children who were told they could get a cake right away, but if they waited they get two cakes later? Those who were waiting for a larger reward later proved to be more successful in life. It is the same with tantric sex. Do not go for the quick reward, like a child who greedily reaches for the first accessible cake. Instead check out which rewards are hidden for those who have the patience and discipline. It seems that nature rewards the person who refrains rom the peak orgasm, by the longer, deeper and more satisfying tantric orgasms.

 

The Hangover

OK, you are with me this far, well done – thank you for it! We have reasonably agreed that the sex drive is reduced by the peak orgasm in the short term. Now we come across a little more scientific part where we among other things will look at what is happening in the brains of us mammals at this orgasm. There have been experiments with rats in which researchers have measured changes in neurotransmitters at different types of sexual activity. Rats are often used in experiments because they have so many similarities with humans, and there are not so many people who are prepared to allow scientists drill into the brain to make the measurements…

 

In the brain, there are many different neurotransmitters, and we’re going to talk about three of them available in both men and women:

  • Oxytocin, makes you want to be close and cuddle. It creates ties between lovers, but also between parents and children or between you and your dog. You want as high levels of oxytocin as possible
  • Prolactin, contributing among other things to a woman’s milk production. When a woman is breastfeeding, she has high levels of prolactin, which means that she generally is not very interested in sex, but are inclined to take care of her child. Also men lose their libido and the ability to get an erection if they get prolactin injected. It is a sexual brake
  • Dopamine is the brain’s principal reward neurotransmitter. You want a high and stable level of dopamine, then you will have the lust to both sex and life

During sexual activity, where the energy builds up, levels of dopamine and oxytocin increases, while prolactin decrease. You are horny and want to be near. This peaks when you get a classic orgasm and then follows reduced levels of dopamine and oxytocin, while prolactin increases. You want to be left alone, have less sex drive and less for pretty much everything.

 

Everyone knows that it works so before and after a normal ejaculation. My teacher usually ask the audience’s men if they dare to be honest. Then he asks if they are more or less attracted to their partner after they’ve had sex. In principle, everyone recognizes that they are less attracted as soon as they have ejaculated. My teacher then usually provokes a bit for fun and says that every time a man comes in his woman, they hit a new nail in the coffin of their relationship.

 

What is the revolutionary news here is that the hangover that follows after a normal peak orgasm is longer than people believe. When you’re 20 years old you can quickly become horny again, but it’s not quite the same energy. When you are over 30 the pattern becomes more clear. It turned out the experiment with the rats (see the next section for a link to the experiment) that it took them 14 days before being sexually active recovered. In my tantric school there is experience from over 2 000 men and women demonstrating the same hangover and the average recovery period for them is 17 days. 17 days until dopamine, oxytocin and prolactin are restored to a natural level! It is one of the reasons that people have difficulty believing in this. Since we are constantly peaking almost nobody knows how it feels to be out of this hangover. I also want to clarify that this applies to women who come on their clitoris too. It is just the same orgasm that lead to the same results in terms of the brain’s neurotransmitters and thus the hangover.

 

When we were children, almost all of us were happy, curious about life and energetic. Sometime in the age 13-15 this stops. It happens to coincide exactly with the time when most people start masturbating. Maybe not the whole reason, but there is a clear concurrence. To experience how happy, energetic and horny you can be, there is a challenge about not having a miss, i.e. to not have a peak orgasm, for 21 days. It is not about turning off the sexuality, which mainly women are capable of. On the contrary continue, alone or if you are a couple, to be sexually active. That way you build energy day by day and on Day 17, you will probably feel healthier, more dear, happy and horny than in a long time. It’s harder than you might think, the dependence is strong, and if you miss once, you have to start on day 1 again. For every time I miss and must go through this process, the pattern becomes clearer. So try it! Everything to gain, nothing to lose.

 

Tantric orgasms as you can read about here and in the dictionary can come spontaneously, when you stop to discard of the sexual energy. For many, it takes time, and then it can be good to go on a course, where you will meet teachers that can accelerate your development. For the deepest female orgasms, it is also basically necessary to have a so-called de-armoring, to get rid of the pain in the vagina. You can read more about it in the dictionary, but you can also google this internal massage.

 

Finally I don’t would believe the Peak orgasm is evil in any way. It has a purpose, like everything else on this earth and it is the most effective way to spread your genes. It is smartly designed that after this orgasm you feel less attracted to your partner. For a man this can become a restless desire for new hunting grounds, new women to spread their seed in. It may sound rough, but is fairly obvious if we put ourselves into the mechanism’s point of view. If we put morals and feelings aside, it is clear that the peak orgasm with its ejaculation has only one single goal. It is to come as often as possible, from the man’s side preferably with as many women as possible. Spread his risk, to not put all eggs in one basket. Reproduction is the target for the survival of the species. The Peak orgasm is functional for spreading our species over the earth, but it is dysfunctional if you want an intimate relationship with the same sex drive and physical proximity. Maybe it’s time to love each other in another, more enjoyable and less greedy ways? And maybe we are enough people on the planet.

 

A theory about the Ego and the Peak-orgasm

Here is a deep dive, but it’s an interesting theory about man kind that I want to share. Most of it comes from my teacher. You could simply see it as an entertaining story if you want, it’s just a theory. Hopefully we can agree that humans have built an Ego and that animals have not done so in the same way? The animals are in harmony with nature, we exploit nature. Ok, then we go back in time. We were once monkeys in harmony with nature, so somewhere it went wrong. What we have always done in all the years is to eat, drink, sleep and have sex. Reasonably it must have been somewhere among these fundamental behaviors, behaviors which are still the most fundamental of us, as it went wrong. It is unlikely that we started drinking alcohol 135 000 years ago and thus became selfish, nor is it probable that poor sleep brought us out of balance with nature. Our eating habits are interesting, today they are anything but healthy, and changing them is of course important. But it was probably not an unnatural diet that made us begin to exterminate animals (for example almost all big animals in North America disappeared) and spread our species like a virus over earth.

 

Sexuality is the strongest momentum we have in our bodies and if it is driven by a sense of conquest and greed, over hundreds of generations deep patterns can be imprinted in our psyche. No other animals are hungrily chasing a peak orgasm with ejaculation to the right and left all year round regardless of the mating season, and thus there must be a time when our ancestors did not do it either. But suddenly it happened, a man ape discovers this efficient way of spreading his genes. It comes with a reward in the form of the peak and thus also creates the concept of future rewards, on a deep place in our nervous system. Human desires, unlike the animal instincts, perhaps arrived in this way. This orgasm do, as we have seen above, make the man ape more restless and less satisfied, but probably also more aggressive. Partly because it is driven by the desire to get the reward, but also because it has a stronger programming to spread his seed, his genes. Think about it, rape becomes totally meaningless if the offender should not ejaculate. Can you hear the offender say; “Easy, easy now – it’s too nice, I risk to miss!” Probably not. Additionally, this man ape may have become more “smart” by planning for future rewards, just like a clever operator on the stock market. Some may think this is far-fetched, but the reasoning is logical, as I see it, and somewhere in human history the dysfunctional behavior have begun.

 

Another interesting aspect of this is that the latest genetic research seems to indicate that all humans come from a single couple who lived for over 100 000 years ago. (see link here). It is not likely they were the only humans on earth, but maybe they were the only ones to start with Peak orgasm, with its spastic contractions and pumping instead of the semen flowing out. Since all humans according to genetic research comes from this couple, it means that their children had sex with each other just as the royal family over the world historically passed their genes on, through incest. This more aggressive and intelligent family, or type of Homo Sapiens, bred and the population grew and exploited the Neanderthals, other Homo sapiens and then finally other animals and nature. All people today does in such case stem from this family and if you look at how we still chop down trees, litter the sea and suppress other species, it is evident that the pattern progresses. I have never believed in the Bible and Adam and Eve, but in light of this, I have begun to wonder why this story , in competition with millions of other stories, became the world’s most famous. A couple who lived in the Garden of Eden and ate of the apple from the forbidden tree, with the result that we were thrown out of paradise. The Bible is of course about symbolism, you can not take it literally. The apple is tempting, what can the apple symbolize in a sexual context? Perhaps this story became so well known because there is some truth in it.

 

The Ego is an inward contraction, as is the peak orgasm opposed to the opening tantric orgasms. Perhaps the orgasm is the origin of the Ego, somewhere and somehow it must have begun. It doesn’t sound so fun that all humans come from a single couple, whose children propagated through incest. The good news is that we should be able to become free if we cut the illness at the root, rather than merely concentrate on the symptoms and try to extinguish fires. Perhaps the beginning of the end for the Ego could be to stop being greedy about sex and start providing a relaxed sexual enjoyment for ourselves and to others instead.

 

“Isn’t the peak orgasm a product of nature and therefore natural?” someone might say. It is possible to turn all arguments around and say that even a giant gene-modified Belgium Blue Bull is created by man, who is created by nature and therefore natural. That kind of arguing does not feel particularly rewarding. More relevant as I see it is to make the difference between being in sync with nature, to follow the natural flow instead of resisting the flow and exploiting nature. In nature there will always be mutations that appear random. The mutations which are in line with the natural flow survives, the other dies out. The type of humanity to which we belong has perhaps been on earth for 100-150 000 years. The Earth is 4.6 billion years old. It means that we have been around 0.003% of the Earth’s history. Compare with crocodiles that have survived for several hundred million years. No one can claim the human being today live in harmony with nature and the way we live now, it is pretty obvious that we can not survive for long. We are going to be over 12 billion people by 2100, with much higher living standards and greater per capita consumption. If we continue like this we will soon die out, nature will remain. Then the smart and greedy human ape Homo Sapiens with his “natural” peak orgasm was just a parenthesis in the history of the Earth. Natural or not, the peak orgasm is as we have seen dysfunctional today. We no longer need to greedily spread our genes over the world, we need to calm down. Thank you for reading this far. The story is a possibility anyway, and I’m open if someone has a better theory. If you think the theory was interesting you should watch this video. It is a little over dramatic, but very thorough (dubble click on it for full screen):

How sex was censored from the Bible.

 

 6. Scientific papers and presentations

Here I have gathered some publications and presentations relevant to our discussions around sex, peak orgasm, and tantric sex. The first is the experiment with rats. The second is written by a professor of molecular biology, which is also active in my tantric school. I have also added some other stuff I’ve found:

 

  1. Pharmacological and physiological aspects of sexual exhaustion in male rats
  2. One year in Tantra: A scientist’s tale
  3. Non-genital orgasms
  4. Pathways of Sexual Desire
  5. The Science of Sex and mind

POSTS UNDER THE SUBJECT TANTRIC SEX

Crazy Wisdom is a spiritual tradition with roots all over the world, such as in Vajrayana and Tibetan Buddhism. It is a little less comfortable, celibacy and meditation in monasteries and a little more – well, crazy. Read more in the Dictionary, below are posts in the topic.

What could be more important than to continue to develop as a person? It can happen in so many different ways, here below I collect post about methods as well as mine and others’ development.

Regarding Science and God – that everything is one

 

Religious, scientists and philosophers can and should agree that the only thing one individual can say with absolute certainty is that she is experiencing and thus to some extent exists. All she then is experiencing, whether it is an encounter with God or a measurement of a planet’s motion in the universe, is a subjective experience and can just as well be an illusion.

Read more

 

  1. Introduction
  2. My philosophical faith
  3. What has gone wrong
  4. Beautiful possibilities of the Future

 

 

1. Introduction

There was some Greek philosopher who said that the possibility exists that we all live in illusion, that we are fed with the impression by a demon, and that none of what we experience actually exists. A modern example is the Matrix movie. No one can really say “I know” about anything. This should bring humility, it is so incredibly little we really know.

 

Some scientists and philosophers, such as Richard Dawkins, claims that we can and should introduce the concept of probability in the debate. Scientific measurements of the planets orbit can be calculated and confirmed independently, and it suggests that there probably is a planet out there that behave so. The same could be said about the millions and millions of people who have experienced and still experience that they have met God, of which I am one. (PS. I have not seen an old man in the sky with a white beard). There is no reason to let these testimonials or “measurements” to have less importance than the measurement of a planet that no one has ever been on. On the contrary, the direct experiences in first person often changes a person’s values, happiness level, acts and lives forever. Dawkins is a dedicated anti-God advocate, but he seems very set on attacking what can be described as a “personal God”. This is God or Allah as He (for it is a man) is described in The Bible and the Koran. A vengeful and unpredictable man with body and human behavior. I am ready to agree with many spiritual masters who believe that it is an affront to God to reduce this force, (force in lack of the perfect word, but it is used in the film Star Wars), to a single person with all human strange selfish behaviors. The most likely explanation for this extreme simplification, with a creation in seven days made by an elderly man with a long gray beard, is to use parables to tell a story that everyone can understand. Many do not understand more intellectual reasoning and to get everybody aboard, and thus the power, these stories were chosen. Unfortunately, with time many decided to take the stories literally.

 

For my part, I believe that in the future we must combine the best aspects of science and religion, instead of continuing the pie-throwing between the two. It is likely that both have something to offer mankind, just look at all the material wealth that science has given us and all the happiness, meaning and peace that many religious experience.

 

I personally think that a Buddhist philosophical approach I have seen is a good starting point.

We have three criteria that can reinforce what we think we know:

  1. Credible theories (which can be “confirmed” by the experiment)
  2. Credible testimonies
  3. Your own experiences

 

Finally, it is number 3 that means that we ourselves can experience that we know anything with certainty. With this model as guideline I am creating my own faith, and faith is a suitable word because I know I really do not know, I’m an agnostic. My faith acts as a guide in my life, but I am anytime ready to reconsider it if something more functional, logical, or a new experience emerges.

 

2. My philosophical faith

I have a body consisting of atoms and it is in a constant exchange with atoms in its environment. In one year, 98% of the atoms in my body are replaced, so on the material level, it is obvious that I do not have a separate body over time. Moreover, I have several senses. These address signals in the form of other atoms, but also electromagnetic radiation from the environment. The senses contribute to creating a simulation of reality and it is this simulation, which I perceive as my life. If this simulation takes place in a part of a Universal Consciousness, or whether it is only a simulation that arises in my own nervous system is the big question. Does our material and finite universe appear in an infinite consciousness, or do small individual consciousness appear in the material universe?

 

I’m leaning towards the first, mainly because there is support for this alternative truth in all the three criteria above. There are advanced Buddhist philosophies for this, thousands and thousands testify to it ever since the Buddha and it is also my own experience when I reach deeper, more natural states without the monologue in my head. That our individual consciousness occurs in the material universe is a neat theory, but not confirmed by the experience – given that the experiencer has had a satori (temporary enlightenment). Animals and nature are obviously linked to each other in  incredibly ingenious ways that researchers are constantly amazed by. Fish school with thousands of fish synchronizes the movements in a fraction of a second, migratory birds and whales get to the same place after traveling thousands of miles, animals felt the tsunami before it came and took to a higher elevation. The examples are many and to simply call it “instinct” is not a sufficient explanation for these synchronized phenomenon. The fact that the modern human mind is limited and introverted in the skull, having lost instincts as a result, does not mean that we are not part of the total universal consciousness. There have been tons of philosophical literature on this by more competent writer than I me. I can, for example, highly recommend “The net of Indra”, by Sante Poromaa. It includes advanced theories of rebirth and these should not be immediately dismissed as hocus-pocus. Science has always improved by bravely adding new “out-there” theories, so why not try adding a new dimension; the dimension of consciousness? Furthermore, I consider it almost self-evident that there is a collective human consciousness and probably also the consciousness of nature here on Earth between animals and plants. In this subject quantum mechanics seem to have a lot to say, perhaps it can serve as a bridge?

 

In this publication, however, I focus on describing my faith on the basis of the among scientists more accepted theory that consciousness arises in the material universe. This is to show clearly that there exists no real separation between us even in this case. The illusion of separation is critical to change, it is destroying our planet. What I mean by separation is the experience that “I am in here and the world is out there.”

 

The simulation I talked about above, or the dream, as some choose to call it, is all we know. The sky we see with the sun, moon and clouds are part of the simulation. Likewise, do the the sounds we hear, the tastes, the smells, the feeling of the wind against the skin, the sensation of an orgasm, the mind wandering and feelings in the body – all are part of one and the same simulation. The electrical signals are sent to the brain which in turn simulate reality. It is important to understand the extent of this. One’s own body as we see and feel in our consciousness is also only a part of the simulation. It is “my” simulation, and thus all other people and bodies I meet are a result of my simulation, as much as my own body. It’s all part of a simulation, my simulation. Consciousness is another word that we use to cover everything that exists in our simulation, and this consciousness is the deepest and broadest possible description of who “I am”. The experiencer is indistinguishable from that which is perceived. I’m like a movie in 3D subjectively experiencing myself. Of course I do it from the perspective of one’s own body, but I’m simulating the whole movie just the same way as I simulate my own body. For a normal person in a normal state of mind, this intellectual reasoning may seem logical, but she will still experience herself as being limited and that “I” is in here and the world is out there – separate from me. That is how I feel myself normally.

 

But fortunately I have  experienced other states of consciousness, when I experience myself as One with everything in the simulation – I’m the simulation, the dream or the 3D movie. It feels as if I am just an observer of everything that happens, including what the body below me do and what it says. There is no separation, because I am the full simulation with its nature and all its characters. This is a fantastic experience, there is of course nothing to be afraid of in the movie because I am the whole movie! I can confidently feel love and compassion to everyone and everything in the film and fully enjoy the immense beauty of the earth and the universe that I play for myself. This is a deep religious or spiritual experience, it is the experience of being God. But not a personal God, but to be the whole of creation. It may well be that it only happening in my simulation, but it’s the only one I will ever get to experience. This way of experiencing the reality is, as discussed above, natural, because we create our own simulations. I think it is this truth that spiritual masters like Buddha, Jesus and others have pointed to for thousands of years. They managed to go beyond the egoistic mind. A mind that in its own simulation is trying to protect and grab for its own computer game guy, kind of Super Mario. The masters have realized the beauty of the whole film, and learned to enjoy taking in the universe and giving back to the universe. That seems to be a happier and more peaceful way of living than sitting like Super Mario frowning when trying to intellectually work out how the computer game is built. It is quite obvious that intellectual thinking never will find the final answer, the discrepancy between existence grand whole and what the human conceptual mind can figure out is absurdly large. (quote Eckhart Tolle) This does not mean that it is wrong to use the intellect, it is an excellent tool to use fixing the car engine. But because it also can be used to build atomic bombs, it is obviously dangerous to let the intellect individually govern our lives. It also appears that a Buddha who has reached spiritual enlightenment, i.e. realizing the reality of their simulation, not only  get rid of their own suffering but ca also help others to get rid of their suffering. For suffer we all do when we live in the illusion of separation, whether we are conscious of it or not. Regarding the overuse of the intellect vs our suffering, Buddha used a beautiful analogy. A natural man who has been shot in the chest with an arrow, does not ask himself what type of wood the arrow is made of. He asks for help to get the arrow out.

 

A Buddha has a magical charisma, if we are receptive to it in our own simulation. The Universe and Nature has given us a type of internal measuring stick of our level of happiness, for me it is logical to use this as the ultimate guidance in my simulation – in life. It is in this sense, I believe that a Buddha has better track of reality than a scientist or a philosopher. A Buddha has mastered the experience itself, the Life, and follows in the Universe and Nature flow without resistance. Perhaps it is only then the most profound truth that a human being can experience reveals itself, the Universe’s and Nature’s truth. The truth of the universe, created for us humans since we are children of the universe. It is as if the universe speaks to us through our experience, our simulation. The spiritual experiences I have had are far more beautiful, more profound and meaningful than I ever intellectually can account for. This document is a two dimensional black and white silent film with poor resolution in comparison with what the universe provides in the form of the direct subjective experience. It is not possible to convey intellectually, it must be experienced.

 

So, if there is an objective world out there that is the basis for our subjective simulations, we can never know for sure. But if it does, it is a material world with constantly interchange of atoms between our bodies, so even in that case there is no real separation to speak of. This is the message which I consider the most important, that there is no real separation. It is this illusion of separation that has created the “us and them mindset” and is responsible for all the suffering on earth.

 

Regarding God it’s just a word, a concept in the human mind. There are as many meanings of a word as there are interpreters of it, the important thing is the truth that they point to. There can be only one truth. I think that God is a beautiful word, but it has been misused greatly through the ages. When I pray, I often pray to the Existence, Universe, Source, Nature, Life and Love. Words that points toward what we all can experience, something that unites rather than creating separation, something we are all a part of. Prayer‘s primary function as I see it is to get out of selfish thought patterns and see the big picture, Existence’s picture.

 

There is a creative “force” in our Universe. Religious might describe it as the will of God or the Holy Spirit. Scientists, for their part try to interpret it by describing its physical laws by intellectual approximations and puts name on it as the reverse entropy, or the implicit order. Whatever we think about this, we are made out of this force and under its jurisdiction. To believe that this is pure coincidence is of course ok, but I do not think it seems likely. Nor is the intuitive feeling I get when I look up at the stars in the sky and because I am a child, a reflection, of the universe, I do not ignore the intuition that the universe has given me.

 

Existence is a good word, by definition it includes everything andit does not get higher than that. Osho used that word, and he has also said that there is no God, but there is “Godliness”. This is to clearly dispel the myth of a personal God. As I see it, the universe was created out of Existence, possibly along with countless other universe. Nature is part of the universe, and from it us humans were created. If we are free as a Buddha, we experience ourselves in a wonderful simulation of the entire universe, it’s like the universe experiencing itself. There is a divine message of this experience, a message that millions of people in different cultures have experienced for thousands of years. There have been words such as compassion, gratitude, happiness, meaning, unity, love, ecstasy and bliss. It is in this way existence meant it to be, otherwise it would have been in a different way. Some use the word God for this. For me it is so amazingly beautiful and mysterious everything that I can not really choose the right words, because no words will make the deeper experiences justice. But I am grateful that I have got a little insight into what probably is the source of all religious beliefs, and it is the experience itself that is my primary guide.

 

It is said that our body and our senses together receive about 11 million pieces of information every second, but our intellect can just process 126 of these per second. These 126 together create our intellectually conscious reality. It is thus obvious that almost everything that happens escapes us and to just trust our head seems naive. Some information ends up in our subconscious and some in our body and here intuition, feelings and impulses has an important role to play. They offer a quicker path to insights and actions in line with Nature, instead of the slow road to attempt to think out everything with the intellect. In any direct or indirect way these 99.999% that the intellect misses affect our simulation, our perception of reality and our lives. It is possible that what in our simulation is perceived as angels, spirits and other beings are aspects of this huge amount of real information that we theoretically have access to. They are in that case not supernatural but natural – but not available to those who are not open or attentive enough. In some cultures, such as among the Indians of the Amazon, they have known for thousands years that plants like Ayahuasca and Huachuma can help us access information that is otherwise hidden. Ceremonial use of these medications have shown to be very healing, lead to deep insights and also opening channels of communication that are not otherwise possible. Given the small part of the reality we normally perceive it is both bigoted and even insulting to the old wisdom to dismiss this as unreal hallucinations and hocus-pocus. We are children of the Universe and Nature, and it must be considered likely that we have something to learn from the plants that have been here millions of years before us. Not only through microscopes and intellectual analysis, but foremost by the direct experience that follows when the plants are ingested. This is how nature speaks to us. Creative people in all possible areas from music and theater to art and science, testify that the content of the creative process seems to come from an indefinable source, it’s not something you’ll figure. Insights arise from silence, gaps in the stream of thought. It can happen in the shower or, as in Newton’s case in the garden – perhaps with an apple in the head. Here, plants and other preparations has helped a lot, and it is said that Shakespeare (mushrooms) and Walt Disney (LSD) as well as the Beatles (a lot) and the creators of Avatar (Ayahuasca) has received inspiration from various “trips”.

 

These great opportunities to experience hidden channels that seem to be related to chemical mixtures in our physical universe, do not represent a roof of what is possible. Added are the possibility of other parallel dimensions here and now, parallel universes. That the universe we know would be the only one in existence is not likely, we are constantly discovering new things just in this dimension. Everything is within the same Existence and therefore it is likely that there would be some type of communication between these dimensions. This since everything happens and always has happened now, how and when would it otherwise happen? (Everything else is just a thought in the head, also being here and now). Such inter-dimensional communication can not be detected by a device that is built for reading matter and radiation, but perhaps we can do it in our consciousness. An open, humble mind is the only sane approach to this vast, astonishing creation that we are part of, and subjectively experience.

 

3. What has gone wrong

If it is natural to experience everything in our life as a single coherent film, a simulation that our body is a small part of, then why is it not normal? This is a great question and I’ll just try on a gentle, general theory. Before we are born, we are hopefully relatively unspoiled. Already the birth, is however probably a traumatic experience for the baby. Leaving a secure, peaceful, existence in water in the mother’s womb, to instead get heavily drugged (same drugs as the mother for a little sensitive organism) and then pushed through a much too narrow birth canal and to finally come out and meet air and bright light for the first time among doctors and others in an often stressful environment. The lungs are painfully used for the first time and as if that was not enough the only known source of nutrition, the umbilical cord, is cut off in a matter of seconds or minutes. Although a baby can not think and shape verbal memories, it is obvious that the child like an animal feels pain in the nervous system and the nervous system has a memory. It is also clear that the earlier in our lives we experience trauma, the deeper they imprint our nervous in our organism. It has been claimed by psychologists since Freud’s days, that the first three years largely shape who we become as adults; safe or unsafe. Probably birth for most is a very traumatic experience, the child’s first contact with the new world is pain and perhaps even fear. There are examples of pain-free, orgasmic water births which clearly appear more natural – but that is a chapter in itself.

 

The child has according to science a consciousness already from birth, and since there are no thoughts there is no sense of a self created. Everything is experienced as a whole. Senses such as vision begins to be configured according to the environment and becomes sharper with time. After 6-7 months it is said that the child “recognizes” some kind of separation between the mother and the experiencer (i.e. the child), which is a painful experience. In the first years basically all the children of our planet get to experience the fear of being alone and abandoned without any concept of time and the lack of closeness and love. They are taught shame, when natural behaviors such as playing with sex and ass are punished by shameful and sexually blocked parents. Natural spontaneous emotions expressed as crying or anger are also condemned as unwanted and thereby repressed. Or bribed into silence with sweets with subsequent sugar addiction. Exactly everything that happens to a child from birth will imprint the baby’s nervous system, where else would it go? It is cause and effect, classical physics. We therefore raise our children to believe that they are in a world which is painful to be born into and live in. In this world, there is a lack of love, and kids should be ashamed of or suppress behavior that feels natural.

 

Let’s test to put ourselves in the child’s perspective. An innocent and pure consciousness is born, one continuous simulation has been created without knowledge of separation – a new life. In this simulation that is experienced from the perspective of a body, the experiencing child then learns  there is pain, danger and lack for their own body. The experiencer must learn to protect its own body and ensure that it gets, at the expense of other parts of the experience. The pain is already from birth to much for a small child to handle and it is therefore unconsciously separated from consciousness, it is suppressed and stuck in the body as deep contractions. Thus a division is created in the previous continuous consciousness. A division between the suppressed pain which is too large to handle and the rest. The first illusion of separation is a fact. Illusion because the pain is real and part of our consciousness, a part of who we have become because of the environment. Since there is now a part of the consciousness that the child does not want to feel like himself, a self is created in the consciousness. The world is out there and the experiencer is in here and, the world out there hostile. As more pain is accumulated the kid finally reaches a point when he is controlled more by the fear of pain and the desire for more, than of natural curious, happy and carefree impulses. An artificial Self is dominating the behavior over time, the Ego has won in this organism. (see “Theory of Holes” by A. H. Almaas). The experiencer is ashamed of his urges, is afraid of others but also afraid of being abandoned, which breeds jealousy, longing for love, has desire to own more, is oppressing natural feelings and so on. And all this happens in our own simulation! It has been said that all psychological pain has to do with the illusion of separation. This I am inclined to believe, the separation is not true and it hurts not to live in truth.

 

The experiencer is thus a damaged nervous system constantly set on defense, it is like he has built a wall around himself. This nervous system is created by two injured nervous system in the form of mother and father, who in turn are created by other damaged nervous system. It is destructive programming that propagate themselves, generation by generation. Here DNA is just one of several factors, the environment likely play a larger role in the psychological dysfunction a child suffers from. One symptom of this dysfunction is that we are walking around and thinking about ourselves all the time and what everything means to us. This kind of thinking generally stems from fears and desires regarding our own body in our simulation. Sure, it happens that new, creative ideas emerge. But the average person thinks 60,000 thoughts per day, 80% of them are negative and 80% is also the same thoughts as she thought yesterday. It is an unnatural contraction, a tension, probably located in the brain. This thinking is possible because we humans have the ability to a higher dimension of consciousness, but the ability should of course be used in a different way. One indication of this is already in the name of our species, Homo Sapiens Sapiens – the human who knows that she knows. This is not something that the intellect can grasp the full significance of, but something that must be experienced. To experience oneself as consciousness where life passes, instead of from the small perspective to think about and be completely engrossed in the content of consciousness. Exactly everything we experience is borrowed and the things that come and go in life is not life itself.

 

A name for this disorder often used in spiritual circles is the Ego. The Ego is thus a psychological and physical system in both mind and body that is in dysfunction with the surroundings and also attacks the own organism. The Ego is found in pretty much all people on Earth, is constantly reproduced at each birth and is solely responsible for the destruction of our planet.

 

We can not see our own Ego. It is only when a human for the first time  experience a satori or samadhi, temporary enlightenment, as she realizes who she is and that she is not her Ego. Before that, the Ego is for her what water is to a fish, you can not see what is always around you. A satori corresponds to lift the fish over the water’s surface to provide a new perspective, the fish will see that there is something other than water. This also brings the realization that everything you experience is kind of a dream or simulation, but not your personal dream. It is the universe’s and nature’s dream, given to you and it is this realization that brings gratitude and a longing to with love and compassion make the dream beautiful. Right now, the Ego reigns on this planet. We have to choose between getting in line with nature, like all other plants and animals, or to perish.

 

4. Beautiful possibilities of the Future

The good news is that it is possible to weaken this dysfunction and become more natural. There seems to be some individuals who throughout history has made themselves permanently free of programming and perhaps this is the only way to experience true freedom. Outstanding achievements possibly carried out by masters such as Buddha, Jesus, Lau Tzo and Osho. It has been called enlightenment, and what they did is as difficult as it is easy and natural. It has also been called meditation, a state free from the Ego’s activity in the body and mind. The experiencer is aware of oneself as the whole experience without separation (1) and the organism resets its nervous system to total harmony with their surroundings and feel the world as ones own body (2). First described in Tantra as the masculine practice, it is a higher level of consciousness. The experiencer sees the truth, that everything is a simulation and the experiencer is free from personal self-reflection. This probably means that the contraction in the brain has been released and relaxed. The second is the feminine practice. The entire nervous system from top to toe relaxes outward as if it had never been damaged and no evil is to fear. It includes the physical base of the body with its genitals and also the perhaps deepest contraction in the body, the spiritual right-side-of-the-heart (just below the right nipple, most people don’t feel anything there). The enlightened disappears into or re-enter fully into the simulation, which is the ultimate experience – the deepest possible color and feeling. It does not mean to sit and meditate alone on a mountain top. Nothing wrong with that, but who would choose to do so if he realized that everything is a simulation where there is nothing to fear and you can do whatever you want? I have met a few trustworthy people who say they have met a fully enlightened human and that the enlightened almost seems like an alien with incredible charisma and transmission, that others also feel physically in their own bodies. Being near such a person brings either a feeling of bliss, or, if your Ego resists, both physical and mental pain. A fully enlightened being can with full awareness and without fear embody all the energies that are possible for us humans. From the deepest anger and sexual lust, to the deepest love and compassion – depending on how he can best serve the situation. It is said that it is also state of omniscience. Maybe not so that he can answer all scientific questions in detail, but he always acts in complete harmony with the universe and experience no doubt. When the heart relaxes outward, instead of protecting itself, love flows into the simulation and fills it. The whole experience becomes a loving one, the Universe becomes a loving Universe without any separation. Only then do we experience the reality like the Universe and Nature meant for us. Rapturously we get to experience ourselves as the whole of creation. A loving, beautiful and welcoming creation. We meet the full experience of God.

 

Today there is as far as we know no living human that permanently mastered both the feminine and the masculine practice, although a few master the masculine. We are all damaged and the road to the full enlightenment and liberation is very long. There are also far too many people on the planet and population growth continues at a record pace to at least 10 billion. The only solution is to give birth to fewer children, and it is logical also from the perspective that only a distinct minority are suitable parents. Most people carry on their deeply wounded child inside and unknowingly pass on this injured programming to their children. It is obvious that most parents must have children for selfish reasons. But there are those people who have always loved children. They have since young age offered to baby-sit, they like to sit for hours and play with the children, they have unconditional love to give and children cling to them. Our unborn babies are not yet damaged and maybe we can, through the greatest and most important effort in human history, begin to give birth to and nurture unspoiled children. In this way, a new beautiful world could be created here on earth, in symbiosis with nature and the universe. As it was supposed to be.

POSTS UNDER THE SUBJECT PHILOSOPHY

Sometimes I get ideas about myself, the human being or the creation we live in. I call them the insights, because that is how it feels. They are fuzzy and uncensored, some might call them deep.