No one goes from tantric sex to regular sex



[This text was written in August 2015 – some of my ideas and my style has changed a bit since then. But I will keep this as I wrote it.] Tantric sex is amazing, everyone I know who do it look back on their time when they had regular sex and says that it almost feels like another life. However, it is important to get a proper introduction, a week on a good course could change your sex life forever. You can read more about the theoretical background of tantric sex and tantric orgasms in the Dictionary. Below is some practice and other goodies.

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  1. Introduction
  2. A male´s experience of tantric sex
  3. A female beginner reports
  4. Comment
  5. The Peak orgasm is sexually dysfunctional and gives you a hangover
  6. Scientific articles and presentations


1 Introduction

Babyface comment: This text was written in August 2015, so it mirrors my view on sex when launching this blog. Today I would probably be less categorical and also less provoking, but I find it interesting to keep it as it is to see how my opinion and way of expressing myself has changed


I’m still a relatively new practitioner of tantric sex, I joined my first real retreat in April 2014. There was no obvious problem in my sex life before and I had both longer relationships and intense single life with many girls. But sex today is something completely different for me. The meetings are deeper, I am more relaxed and the enjoyment is much greater. I can honestly say that the tantric sex I experience today is better each time, than the best sex I ever had before that course. Strong statement but true and my Tantric friends seem to have exactly the same image. “If people only knew,” a girl said to me. “Then probably no one would go out in the town in end, this is simply too good.” 🙂 Everyone I know who practice tantric sex is welcoming to beginners. You can practice by yourself, with your intimate partner or with multiple partners. Heterosexual, bisexual, transgender or queer – everything works. As with regular sex. You know that when you have found a nice beach, a good restaurant or a great movie, you want to share this. It’s the same here, the more people who have good sex, the better for us all. There is an evolution on earth and as I see it, tantric sex is the next step in our sexual development. Not more hokus-pouks than that.


It can be quite amusing to hear what image people have of tantric sex. Some ask; “Is it like sitting opposite each other and breathe without touching each other and then you think you have an orgasm and then you get it too?”


Hm, that’s not really the way it goes. If you have  read in the dictionary you know the theory behind, mainly that you should avoid the classic peak orgasm and instead be able to get longer, deeper and more satisfying tantric orgasms. (It is called peak orgasm because there is a build-up towards a short peak, followed by a long valley with less sexual drive). In the next two chapters the experience of tantric sex is described first from a man’s perspective, then from a woman. The man is relatively experienced without being an expert, while the woman has just discovered tantra.


2 A male’s experience of tantric sex

Finally home from work, nice to leave earlier to get home to her. I can really feel that tingling in my dick when I drive the car up the driveway. I feel like a child on Christmas Eve, while there is a relaxed feeling in my body. That’s funny, that horniness is a relaxation – but it’s true. When I come through the door I see her sitting there on the couch reading a newspaper. “Hi Honey,” I say with a smile. She looks up and in just a few seconds her expression in the eyes changes from astonishment, to delight, to horniness. I love to see that challenge in her eyes, that dark feminine energy saying “ok come and get me if you can”. I walk up to the couch, leaning over her for a slow kiss. Then I stretch  up again and look into her eyes, she’s really nice and soft. It’s almost as if I feel how she enjoys the feeling of her body. I lean forward again and we were kissing each other slowly. It’s like lips moving by themselves, she is wonderful to make out with and it’s basically impossible to think at the same time. It is beautiful and I feel love.


I’m taking command from my masculine

I tell her to get up in the bedroom, lit some candles and put on a set of sexy music that I know she likes. When I come in through the bedroom door, she is already on the bed in her underwear. Really sexy black lingerie. She slowly unzips my pants and takes out the cock which is already becoming hard. She looks at me with those beastly eyes as she slowly begins to suck it. She closes her eyes and appears to go into trance, almost like she was asleep, although she moves. Whatever he does it is amazing, everything feels so good and the buzzy horniness starts to spread in my body. She uses her hands to touch my cock, balls and anal. I can feel all the stress from the day dropping off when she’s teasingly pressing her fingers against my anus.


I notice how I also feel that my heart opens to her and I grab her hair and slowly begin to make love to her mouth. It’s like there is a signal from the heart to the cock and back again. I’m beginning to feel like a horny teenager. This horny teen won’t wait any longer and I push her backwards into the bed where she ends up on her back. I lick my fingers and put them into her vagina. It is already wet, but I still want to go down on her so I lick and kiss a little around the opening. She moans and feels really ready. My cock seems to quite ready too, so I get up on top of her with the weight on one arm. With the other arm I slide my cock in her and it runs like a shiver through my spine. We lie still feeling, waiting for the connection between my cock and her cervix. There it is, both jerk a little and look each other in the eyes. I can feel how the energy starts flowing between us down there. If my cock could speak, it would say something like, “Yeah-ye-ye-ye, I love it here. I’m so horny on her. ”


She closes her eyes and begins to sound a bit and I’m trying to let go of the control of my body, while still being fully present with her. What would my body want do and how would my cock want to fuck to make it as pleasurable as possible? I know I can not intellectually understand it, so I just let go. My hips begin to move and it feels really great in my dick. She begins to moan more and her body starts moving rhythmically as her Kundalini in the spine is activated. She is so sexy and beautiful and I compliment her for it, the words just coming out of my mouth. Now I begin to lose control of everything but the feeling in my body, her wonderful revelation that just gets sexier and sexier by the minute and the sound of the music that vibrates in our bodies. The world outside is no longer and the sense of time disappears almost completely. We remain in this position for quite some time and I open myself more to her. As the sexual energy begin to circulate in me, I take the next step and feel more in the body. It is like the body is slowly unwinding by the soft, abundant energy and the feeling gets stronger and stronger. But that’s right! I must not disappear into my own world now, I have to be present with her too. She looks up at me and I meet her gaze with as open heart as I can in that moment and it is a lovely meeting. We are becoming more horny and I can feel how my strength is growing simultaneously with that nice, conscious anger. Angry, but relaxed in a way. Now she will get it! I start fucking a little harder against her cervix and my body and dick moves with unexpected, but delicate movements. It feels so good to hit all those pleasurable spots on my cock and I hear that her pleasure is in sync with mine. When it becomes more horny for me, it is also more horny for her.


I compliment her for being so sexy when she’s horny, she really is a little predator and she likes to hear it. But I’m the one in charge. She seems to be approaching an orgasm in her cervix and energy increases rapidly. I have been on maybe 80% (of a classic peak orgasm = game over), but now I jump quickly to 95%. Aaahh, so nice !! But chill down, I have to reduce the pace a bit and it just seems to make her even hornier. She can not quite get what she wants, and I remember what I learned to move 20% slower than the feminine wants. It would be so nice to really fuck her hard right into an orgasm now, but I have to be careful. Our bodies move almost completely in sync and I balance on 95%. It’s very nice, but I do not see how I can increase the intensity. Then I remember the butt and the same second I can relax there, the energy start flowing more freely from my cock, back through my butt, up to that awesome point at the beginning of the spine and then up through the kundalini channel and out through the crown chakra . What a relief, suddenly it feels easy to control when the energy is spread around the body. I can take the next step now that my body is more open.


I’m horny in my dick, relaxed in the butt and I open my heart to this sexy goddess. My cock fucking against the absolute sweetest spot in her, and when I say that I love her she goes into orgasm. “You are so sexy sweetheart, give me all that energy, give it to my cock”. It’s hell of a pressure coming and I open myself to let it pass through me. From her cervix through my cock, and back in my body. I love her actively and put my hands on her chest – almost like I shot love into her. My hands seem to get their own life and almost begin to play on her as an instrument for a few moments. She continues to come on my cock and her hips moving back and forth in a trance.


Suddenly, I seem to zoom out one step further. Almost like waking up from a dream to another where everything is clearer, with a stronger presence. Instead of trying to remember a thousand things to do, soI become more of an observer who sees everything happen. Everything – the sounds, sight and feeling in my body is perceived as a single unit and it suddenly becomes very easy to not pass 100%. I see “my” body and the I see her body in orgasm. It’s like I feel both of our bodies as a single unit, and I can hear from her sounds that something  happened in that exact moment that everything became clearer to me. It is incredible how in sync we are when I feel her! I guess it continues for a minute in this way, and I open and close my eyes alternately. A thought pops up: I would like her to be able to get a really long orgasm, but the minute the idea popped up, I rush up to 99% and am millimeters from a “miss” (peak orgasm = game over). I dare not continue any longer and quickly pull it out when I feel that I was heading for the “Point of No Return”. She continues to come on her cervix for at least 20 seconds even though I’m not in her, it’s insanely hot. Then I gently press my dick back into her and so we lie still with eyes closed in total tranquility. The only thing in the emptiness of my consciousness is that beautiful intensely vibrant energy, we can call it love. It is so peaceful and beautiful at the same time.


She enters her masculine and dominates me

Suddenly she looks at me with a determined look and turn me over on my back. She sits across me and grabs my cock. It was going softer but now it quickly becomes hard again. She slowly puts it back into her while she puts lubricant on her fingers and presses them into my butt. She presses straight on my G-spot, it’s so crazy good and the connection between my dick and ass gets stronger. I grab her hips, but she takes away my hands and put them against her breasts. I feel how she continues to slowly fuck my cock against the horniest spot in her, her cervix. When she starts approaching orgasm, she is still present enough to be able to continue pressing against my G-spot, and then I feel that I go into orgasm. My body gets a life of its own, I just let go and feel the energy flow from that beautiful point in my ass and up through my back. I let go on more and more levels in the body and my cock is rock hard, I am maybe on 95% of a miss so I feel safe. The orgasm is spreading with a jittery feeling in the legs, arms, hands and feet. My whole body is orgasmic and I try to relax as much as possible, well aware that the smallest contraction or thought can make me miss. My kundalini goes nuts, my arms and legs moving rhythmically, and I groan – because it is so nice! I feel love and lust at the same time, I’m in love with the horniness and horny on love. My body moves so that I almost feel like an ailen, as if some unknown force has taken over the body – but it feels so right. I do not know how long it lasts, I would guess 3-4 minutes, and it seems like she comes too. When she finally stops, I’m in heaven. My body feels as new and she settles over me and kisses my mouth. “Thank you, Baby !!” I burst out. “Thank you,” she says and then we stay there in quiet blissful meditation for a while.


Until the doorbell rings. O my God, we do have guests tonight! How long have we played? It just felt like half an hour and I got home at 5 o’clock. The alarm clock on the night table shows 7:20. Ok let’s run down in a bathrobe. Luckily there are some tantric friends coming, they will understand.


3. A female beginner reports

A heavenly orgasm

Oh my fucking God! I float in a turquoise spiral tunnel decorated with white, glittering sparkles. My body travels in a direction toward one end of the tunnel. And it is as if the journey to the strong light is a signal for something. A signal telling you that you shall not resist, you let yourself be taken to where the light wants to take you. My body’s all biological building blocks are cheering and it feels like I’m floating on soft cotton. The experience is timeless and if I would be a New Year’s night, my body is creating all the fireworks of heaven.


How do I describe an out of body experience with words?

It is difficult to describe such a strong experience in words. The head with its thoughts and analyzes is not there. The body is in control and it is in there I feel the orgasm, but the experience is also at the same time in another dimension. Perhaps that is why it is almost impossible to verbally describe such extremely strong, emotional experiences. The Chinese language can not talk to the Japanese language. Emotional orgasmic cells have trouble talking with intellectual cells. To describe a recipe, an event in town or political values is straightforward, since the statements for the most part are based on intellectual conclusions. The experiences I have been part of in recent time has differed strongly from past experiences in life, and the turquoise tunnel creation stems of course from sexual activity in bed.


Tantric sex – a deeper devotion guided by unknown forces

Being horny is something most people are now and then. To kill horniness with a classic peak orgasm most people are also accustomed to. By contrast, to be simultaneously super-duper-horny and building orgasms on each other during sometimes several hours long intercourse, that’s a whole new emotional combination in my sex life. When I’m lying naked in bed next to the man’s body with his warm hands embracing me, I feel a tremendous strong desire. A desire which manifests itself as a warm, wet aura between my legs. When the cock feel attraction to my screaming hi-came-and-take-me-pussy and penetrates me,  the world stops for a second. Once inside, his cock moving to spots feeling like fairytale. How can it be so great to just rest on a spot without friction and movement? Pulsar from my lower region comes alive and starts to flow from the pussy up to the stomach and back. It’s like I have undiscovered canals along the back, abdomen, buttocks and in the pussy. In the channels pulsar are flowing back and forth, and this I have learned is called for activation of “kundalini”. Further the cock is continuing, as I experience it, on its own to discover what is inside of me. As an exploration without programming. Points within me stimulated so free and clean. “Just theeeeerree is it so fucking Good”, I hear a voice from my body speaking and the orgasm is running. A local orgasm from the clitoris which previously lasted maybe 10 seconds, has now been exchanged for experience without equal lasting for minutes. The channels in the body are open. Electrical pulsars flowing throughout my body and somehow I see and hear myself in the third person. The feeling and experience have made it out of the body to visit the turquoise tunnel just above the loving couple.


Incredible that I have so many different sexual energies in me

The build up to these heavenly miracles may vary unrestrained. By experimenting with different energies it is possible to make your sex life to a diamond with thousands of glittering surfaces, unlike a traditional gem with a shiny, smooth pearl surface. The diamond and the pearl can represent the potential that exists in terms of sex. A traditional sex can be good, but what I now clearly see, is that the strong charging of the energy resulting from the usual 10-second orgasm is monotonous. Like the gem’s unilateral, shimmering surface. When the energy is circulating and controlling our bodies instead of being ejected, it becomes so much more variety. It actually becomes completely unpredictable.


Role-playing can also reinforce the variety and reconstruction of energy. Earlier in intimate relationships, I have been able to sniff a feeling of sexual dissatisfaction and today I understand why. A person is not just this or that. To clarify my reflection I can use an example concerning myself. In discussions regarding gender equality, I argue usually from a politically correct feminist perspective. Often at dinner discussions I like to emphasize the importance of women not to be subordinate to the man, with the goal of breaking the occasional surviving patriarchate we live in. A few hours later, it is I who wants to be fucked like the dirtiest little slut in the world. How paradoxical is not that? My point is therefore that, in total freedom there are so many sexual characters to live out. In my past, I brought with me my morals and my opinions into bed. But now I have begun to see that there are so many different feminine energies to enjoy and also give from. Not only the innocent school girl, bimbo and her mother, but also the porn star, the slut and the witch. The different pieces are available and can be picked up in all of us, as long as we can relax around our subjective self-image for a while. Certainly it is important to have a strong and secure masculine presence to dare to live out and he could also come in different roles and energies. The variety between the hot football player, the disposal doctor and porn sexguru is in a redemptive way really exciting.


4. Comment

In the first story you follow a man who dominates his woman from his masculine. She is first in her feminine, but then changes the game and leads him into his feminine. He tells about the experience of what is happening in his body and how thoughts come and go, but while letting go they go deeper together. He has some experience of tantric sex, but he is no expert or teacher.


The second story comes from a woman who has a few months’ experience of tantric sex. That means she has not yet seen the more profound encounters and experiences that are possible, but she has had a foretaste. She still has fresh in mind how the usual sex works and can therefore compare in an interesting way. She describes how the role play and play with different energies makes your sex life more exciting and of course this is not unique to Tantra. However, it seems that it is possible to go deeper into these dimensions when practicing tantric sex, especially in the meeting between the feminine and masculine.


From the outside, there are many parts that look like regular sex. Tantric sex is not wishy-washy and crystals, ceremonies, limestone strange faces and incense are not needed. But obviously more is happening on inside compared to regular sex. Traditionally, sex is all about friction and can to some extent be a bit “mechanical”. It’s nice when it’s tight, different techniques are used like trying to vibrate with fingers as fast as possible over the clitoris and then it’s the changing of positions to add variety. In the experience of the husband above, it may seem like there are many techniques, but it is more to describe what happens. In reality tantric sex is about letting go of control so that the bodies themselves, or Nature if you prefer, take over. Then things happen by themselves, you’re not there and doing anything –  you are not in the way.


Friction is not something to strive for because it can make you miss and besides there is so much feeling and energy that friction is not required. Moreover, it is different each time. No single intercourse is alike and therefore you never get tired. It is not the same need to change position every ten minutes and there is no need of having sex in different places to increase the tension. This does not mean that there is anything wrong with multiple positions and sex in the elevator, but if it happens it is not because it’s boring to have sex with your partner in bed. Since you do not get tired of tantric sex, you do not get tired to do it with your partner – even if you have been together for many years.


The sacrifice to avoid the peak orgasm comes with a lot of immediate benefits. The most obvious is that no one loses energy and sex drive. You stop because it feels right, not because you lost interest. This makes it more natural to linger and kissing or just hold each other after intercourse. All men and women probably know that the partner immediately feels less attractive after a normal ejaculation. When it is avoided sex becomes more of a balancing act, keeping on the right side and this deepens the contact between the two because the must cooperate. Over time, with increased control you can begin to navigate in the orgasmic states and as “orgasm-surf” on 98-99%. The sense of touch increases in the sex but also in the rest of the body, and it becomes ever more energy. After tantric sex, you are at least as relaxed as after regular sex, but instead of being drained of energy, you have full zest for life. Relaxed and energetic at the same time, although it might sound strange.


In deep sexual experiences as the ones above, you may get access to what we could call spiritual states. In these states a lot of interesting things can happen. It’s like being high on drugs, but totally clean and without any hangover or side effects. Intellect and thoughts are not there, it’s more of a timeless presence. The fact that intellect is not there makes it feel brand new every time and you often “wake up” afterwards and ask youself: “My God, what happened ?!” It seems that Nature does reward this kind of sex.


Clearly, not all tantric intercourses are amazing every time. We are all humans and thus all who practice tantric sex will periodically feel tired, tense or have a miss. But I would also like to point out that the descriptions above are not exaggerated in any way, I myself have had many similar experiences.


Feet on the ground

If I am honest with myself after amazing sex I know I can not take the credit for what happened. When my body is doing the right thing it sure is not because “I” am “good”. It is all about “getting out of the way”, so that the bodies will take over. Humility is important, and besides, I have teachers who are at least one level above me. They can give women who never had tantric sex womb orgasms that lasts for 20-25 minutes and during that time she is completely unable to think. It is said to be impossible to describe that state in words, “heavenly beautiful and incredibly pleasurable” is about as close as you can get. When I see these real professionals in action, it strikes me that it is rather reminiscent of art than usual six.


5. The Peak orgasm is sexually dysfunctional and gives you a hangover


“Constantly this peak orgasm”

Some readers may think that there is much talk about the usual “peak orgasm” and how damaging it is. I must ask you for patience and an open mind, some of this simply takes time to absorb and you only buy into what you want. I remember the first time I came in contact with tantric sex. It was at a festival when a guy got a full-body-orgasm with clothes on, on the dance floor. At first I thought he was faking, but then I started to get curious and explored more. When I asked around I was told that he and the girl he was with was doing tantric sex. “How do I learn that?” I asked another guy. “Firstly, do not come, I mean ejaculate, in one month,” he replied. “A whole month!” I exclaimed. “No way!” It was like I could never imagine being without my beloved 6-second orgasm so long.


Today, my vision has changed and I see that there is a clear addiction for the peak orgasm. According to my teacher, it is perhaps the strongest addiction in the world. There is a kind of greed associated with this orgasm, although it may sound harsh. But if you think about it, is it only about “I want”, nothing about “I want to give.” The body is also tensing and closes with the contractions and pumping, instead of opening itself as with the Tantric orgasms. Another important aspect is that a person who is addicted to the peak orgasm normally becomes “needy” around sex. Hornyness can be frustrating and there is a need to get it out of the system. A tantric practitioner has a much more relaxed attitude to sex because it is not about a race to the target, instead every moment is meaningful in itself. Central to tantric sex is to be present and to feel arousal in the body, instead of fantasizing about other things and surf porn on the net. Since I changed my sex life this way, I’m so much more relaxed about sex. I have also begun to live out my sexual fantasies and this has led to me hardly ever thinking about sex anymore. But when a potential sexual situation arises, I am more ready than in the past, the pleasure is greater and I can give a lot more to the on I have sex with. My sexuality has changed from dysfunctional to functional, it feels more natural.


That the peak orgasm would be natural is not completely secure. There are other ways to fertilize a woman, for example, the seed flows out calmly without spastic pumping, through stimulation of the prostate. Moreover, there is as far as I know, no animals across the world that continuously ejects their seed. If it occurs at all in that way it is perhaps once a year, when it is time for conception. We humans have totally lost touch with this and continues to greedily chasing sex and brief spasm-orgasms, even if the plan is not to make any offspring. How many greedy animals can be found in nature? Perhaps there is a connection.


Nature rewards those who can avoid coming

The debate about whether the peak orgasm is natural or not can continue and there are probably those with objections. What is important however is the fact, I dare to call it a fact, that your sex life will be much better if this orgasm is avoided. Think about it. There is not exactly a hidden reason why we who enjoy tantric sex talk about it. It is not that we have patents on other orgasms and lose money if people get peak orgasms. The peak feels good as hell and of course I would continue with it if I did not realize it comes with a price. We just want to tell you about other great opportunities because shared joy is double joy. The only reason everybody do not have tantric sex, as I see it, is because people are highly addicted to the peak orgasm. Why would you otherwise defend it? You may have heard about the tests performed with small children who were told they could get a cake right away, but if they waited they get two cakes later? Those who were waiting for a larger reward later proved to be more successful in life. It is the same with tantric sex. Do not go for the quick reward, like a child who greedily reaches for the first accessible cake. Instead check out which rewards are hidden for those who have the patience and discipline. It seems that nature rewards the person who refrains rom the peak orgasm, by the longer, deeper and more satisfying tantric orgasms.


The Hangover

OK, you are with me this far, well done – thank you for it! We have reasonably agreed that the sex drive is reduced by the peak orgasm in the short term. Now we come across a little more scientific part where we among other things will look at what is happening in the brains of us mammals at this orgasm. There have been experiments with rats in which researchers have measured changes in neurotransmitters at different types of sexual activity. Rats are often used in experiments because they have so many similarities with humans, and there are not so many people who are prepared to allow scientists drill into the brain to make the measurements…


In the brain, there are many different neurotransmitters, and we’re going to talk about three of them available in both men and women:

  • Oxytocin, makes you want to be close and cuddle. It creates ties between lovers, but also between parents and children or between you and your dog. You want as high levels of oxytocin as possible
  • Prolactin, contributing among other things to a woman’s milk production. When a woman is breastfeeding, she has high levels of prolactin, which means that she generally is not very interested in sex, but are inclined to take care of her child. Also men lose their libido and the ability to get an erection if they get prolactin injected. It is a sexual brake
  • Dopamine is the brain’s principal reward neurotransmitter. You want a high and stable level of dopamine, then you will have the lust to both sex and life


During sexual activity, where the energy builds up, levels of dopamine and oxytocin increases, while prolactin decrease. You are horny and want to be near. This peaks when you get a classic orgasm and then follows reduced levels of dopamine and oxytocin, while prolactin increases. You want to be left alone, have less sex drive and less for pretty much everything.


Everyone knows that it works so before and after a normal ejaculation. My teacher usually ask the audience’s men if they dare to be honest. Then he asks if they are more or less attracted to their partner after they’ve had sex. In principle, everyone recognizes that they are less attracted as soon as they have ejaculated. My teacher then usually provokes a bit for fun and says that every time a man comes in his woman, they hit a new nail in the coffin of their relationship.


What is the revolutionary news here is that the hangover that follows after a normal peak orgasm is longer than people believe. When you’re 20 years old you can quickly become horny again, but it’s not quite the same energy. When you are over 30 the pattern becomes more clear. It turned out the experiment with the rats (see the next section for a link to the experiment) that it took them 14 days before being sexually active recovered. In my tantric school there is experience from over 2 000 men and women demonstrating the same hangover and the average recovery period for them is 17 days. 17 days until dopamine, oxytocin and prolactin are restored to a natural level! It is one of the reasons that people have difficulty believing in this. Since we are constantly peaking almost nobody knows how it feels to be out of this hangover. I also want to clarify that this applies to women who come on their clitoris too. It is just the same orgasm that lead to the same results in terms of the brain’s neurotransmitters and thus the hangover.


When we were children, almost all of us were happy, curious about life and energetic. Sometime in the age 13-15 this stops. It happens to coincide exactly with the time when most people start masturbating. Maybe not the whole reason, but there is a clear concurrence. To experience how happy, energetic and horny you can be, there is a challenge about not having a miss, i.e. to not have a peak orgasm, for 21 days. It is not about turning off the sexuality, which mainly women are capable of. On the contrary continue, alone or if you are a couple, to be sexually active. That way you build energy day by day and on Day 17, you will probably feel healthier, more dear, happy and horny than in a long time. It’s harder than you might think, the dependence is strong, and if you miss once, you have to start on day 1 again. For every time I miss and must go through this process, the pattern becomes clearer. So try it! Everything to gain, nothing to lose.


Tantric orgasms as you can read about here and in the dictionary can come spontaneously, when you stop to discard of the sexual energy. For many, it takes time, and then it can be good to go on a course, where you will meet teachers that can accelerate your development. For the deepest female orgasms, it is also basically necessary to have a so-called de-armoring, to get rid of the pain in the vagina. You can read more about it in the dictionary, but you can also google this internal massage.


Finally I don’t would believe the Peak orgasm is evil in any way. It has a purpose, like everything else on this earth and it is the most effective way to spread your genes. It is smartly designed that after this orgasm you feel less attracted to your partner. For a man this can become a restless desire for new hunting grounds, new women to spread their seed in. It may sound rough, but is fairly obvious if we put ourselves into the mechanism’s point of view. If we put morals and feelings aside, it is clear that the peak orgasm with its ejaculation has only one single goal. It is to come as often as possible, from the man’s side preferably with as many women as possible. Spread his risk, to not put all eggs in one basket. Reproduction is the target for the survival of the species. The Peak orgasm is functional for spreading our species over the earth, but it is dysfunctional if you want an intimate relationship with the same sex drive and physical proximity. Maybe it’s time to love each other in another, more enjoyable and less greedy ways? And maybe we are enough people on the planet.


A theory about the Ego and the Peak-orgasm

Here is a deep dive, but it’s an interesting theory about man kind that I want to share. Most of it comes from my teacher. You could simply see it as an entertaining story if you want, it’s just a theory. Hopefully we can agree that humans have built an Ego and that animals have not done so in the same way? The animals are in harmony with nature, we exploit nature. Ok, then we go back in time. We were once monkeys in harmony with nature, so somewhere it went wrong. What we have always done in all the years is to eat, drink, sleep and have sex. Reasonably it must have been somewhere among these fundamental behaviors, behaviors which are still the most fundamental of us, as it went wrong. It is unlikely that we started drinking alcohol 135 000 years ago and thus became selfish, nor is it probable that poor sleep brought us out of balance with nature. Our eating habits are interesting, today they are anything but healthy, and changing them is of course important. But it was probably not an unnatural diet that made us begin to exterminate animals (for example almost all big animals in North America disappeared) and spread our species like a virus over earth.


Sexuality is the strongest momentum we have in our bodies and if it is driven by a sense of conquest and greed, over hundreds of generations deep patterns can be imprinted in our psyche. No other animals are hungrily chasing a peak orgasm with ejaculation to the right and left all year round regardless of the mating season, and thus there must be a time when our ancestors did not do it either. But suddenly it happened, a man ape discovers this efficient way of spreading his genes. It comes with a reward in the form of the peak and thus also creates the concept of future rewards, on a deep place in our nervous system. Human desires, unlike the animal instincts, perhaps arrived in this way. This orgasm do, as we have seen above, make the man ape more restless and less satisfied, but probably also more aggressive. Partly because it is driven by the desire to get the reward, but also because it has a stronger programming to spread his seed, his genes. Think about it, rape becomes totally meaningless if the offender should not ejaculate. Can you hear the offender say; “Easy, easy now – it’s too nice, I risk to miss!” Probably not. Additionally, this man ape may have become more “smart” by planning for future rewards, just like a clever operator on the stock market. Some may think this is far-fetched, but the reasoning is logical, as I see it, and somewhere in human history the dysfunctional behavior have begun.


Another interesting aspect of this is that the latest genetic research seems to indicate that all humans come from a single couple who lived for over 100 000 years ago. (see link here). It is not likely they were the only humans on earth, but maybe they were the only ones to start with Peak orgasm, with its spastic contractions and pumping instead of the semen flowing out. Since all humans according to genetic research comes from this couple, it means that their children had sex with each other just as the royal family over the world historically passed their genes on, through incest. This more aggressive and intelligent family, or type of Homo Sapiens, bred and the population grew and exploited the Neanderthals, other Homo sapiens and then finally other animals and nature. All people today does in such case stem from this family and if you look at how we still chop down trees, litter the sea and suppress other species, it is evident that the pattern progresses. I have never believed in the Bible and Adam and Eve, but in light of this, I have begun to wonder why this story , in competition with millions of other stories, became the world’s most famous. A couple who lived in the Garden of Eden and ate of the apple from the forbidden tree, with the result that we were thrown out of paradise. The Bible is of course about symbolism, you can not take it literally. The apple is tempting, what can the apple symbolize in a sexual context? Perhaps this story became so well known because there is some truth in it.


The Ego is an inward contraction, as is the peak orgasm opposed to the opening tantric orgasms. Perhaps the orgasm is the origin of the Ego, somewhere and somehow it must have begun. It doesn’t sound so fun that all humans come from a single couple, whose children propagated through incest. The good news is that we should be able to become free if we cut the illness at the root, rather than merely concentrate on the symptoms and try to extinguish fires. Perhaps the beginning of the end for the Ego could be to stop being greedy about sex and start providing a relaxed sexual enjoyment for ourselves and to others instead.


“Isn’t the peak orgasm a product of nature and therefore natural?” someone might say. It is possible to turn all arguments around and say that even a giant gene-modified Belgium Blue Bull is created by man, who is created by nature and therefore natural. That kind of arguing does not feel particularly rewarding. More relevant as I see it is to make the difference between being in sync with nature, to follow the natural flow instead of resisting the flow and exploiting nature. In nature there will always be mutations that appear random. The mutations which are in line with the natural flow survives, the other dies out. The type of humanity to which we belong has perhaps been on earth for 100-150 000 years. The Earth is 4.6 billion years old. It means that we have been around 0.003% of the Earth’s history. Compare with crocodiles that have survived for several hundred million years. No one can claim the human being today live in harmony with nature and the way we live now, it is pretty obvious that we can not survive for long. We are going to be over 12 billion people by 2100, with much higher living standards and greater per capita consumption. If we continue like this we will soon die out, nature will remain. Then the smart and greedy human ape Homo Sapiens with his “natural” peak orgasm was just a parenthesis in the history of the Earth. Natural or not, the peak orgasm is as we have seen dysfunctional today. We no longer need to greedily spread our genes over the world, we need to calm down. Thank you for reading this far. The story is a possibility anyway, and I’m open if someone has a better theory. If you think the theory was interesting you should watch this video. It is a little over dramatic, but very thorough (dubble click on it for full screen):

How sex was censored from the Bible.



6. Scientific papers and presentations

Here I have gathered some publications and presentations relevant to our discussions around sex, peak orgasm, and tantric sex. The first is the experiment with rats. The second is written by a professor of molecular biology, which is also active in my tantric school. I have also added some other stuff I’ve found:


  1. Pharmacological and physiological aspects of sexual exhaustion in male rats
  2. One year in Tantra: A scientist’s tale
  3. Non-genital orgasms
  4. Pathways of Sexual Desire
  5. The Science of Sex and mind